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This is what currently comes up on your screen when you visit “The Official Webpage of The Democratic People’s Republic of Korea”:
TRANSLATION: “The server is currently unable to handle the request due to a temporary unloading of ‘maintenance’ on the South Korean puppet group’s island territory. The implication is that this is a temporary condition that will be alleviated after our enrichment of enough uranium to bomb a bitch’s ass if we feel like it is completed.”
Filed under: Bombs, Kim Jong Il, Kim Jung Il, North Korea, North Korea Attacks South Korea, North Korea Attacks South Korean Island, North Korea Uranium Enrichment Program, North Korean Propaganda, Nuclear Weapons, Server Maintenance, South Korea, The Korean War, War, Yeonpyeong Island
Oh, thank goodness!!
Our beautiful state of Hawaii did not get nuked over the 4th of July weekend.
Instead, North Korea fired seven missiles (potentially modified longer-range missiles, to boot) into the East Sea, giving the finger to three UN’s security council resolutions and provoking its neighboring country of Japan.
Buddy, you know that this bid for attention is ultimately going to backfire; and, as always, you’ll end up feeling more isolated, alienated, and alone. President Obama kinda nailed it today when he said: “”North Korea’s behavior increases tensions and undermines stability in Northeast Asia. Such provocations will only serve to deepen North Korea’s isolation.” Even China is turning on you, and that just isn’t rad! Do you want people talking about you like this? Do you like being an outcast? Neener neener neener!
We don’t think you do. We think you just desperately want–no, need–the attention from the world. It’s okay. We get it. We even kinda get you. You’re a sad, scared little child that needs approval, respect, maybe a hug. And though we aren’t sure what your parents did to you, how much your siblings taunted you, or what the other kids at school said about you, we’re here to help you grow. So let’s cut the bullshit and grow together. Put down the nukes. Let’s go get some ice cream and talk.
First we hear that Kim Jong Il has been dead since 2003. Then we hear he had an incapacitating stroke, a fact that North Korea denied today. So what gives? And more importantly, who’s minding the nukes right now?