You are currently browsing posts tagged with North Korea
What Brainwashing Looks Like: North Koreans Mourn Kim Jong-il
Of course, I hope this was all a show for the North Korean media and that everyone went home and secretly did a happy dance, but even with Kim Jong-il gone, it doesn’t seem that life’s going to get better for North Koreans any time soon.
[msnbc.com: Mourning in North Korea, worries in South]
Filed under: Communist Regimes, Dicktators, Dictators, Kim Jong Il, Kim Jong Il Dead, Kim Jong Un, Kim Jong-il Dies, Kim Jung Il, North Korea, North Korean Succession, North Koreans Mourn Kim Jong-il
North Korean Soccer: Just Another Day At The Office
200 bona fide North Korean soccer fans arrived in Doha, Qatar via unicorn this month for the 2011 Asian Cup qualifiers. Fans of the other football have a reputation for being fanatical and violent in many countries, and the DPRK’s are no exception.
Shit was bonkers.
And then a brawl broke out in the stands.
Continue reading North Korean Soccer: Just Another Day At The Office
Filed under: 2011 Asian Cup, 2011 Asian Cup Qualifiers, Beaten into Submission, DPRK, Drudgery, Fanatics, Football, Footie, Just Another Day at the Office, Kim Jong Il, Kim Jung Il, Neckties, North Korea, North Korean Football, North Korean Football Team, North Korean Soccer, North Korean Soccer Team, Office Space, Rabid Fans, Real Fans, Soccer, Wearing a Tie to Work
DISGRASIAN OF THE YEAR! 10 People And/Or Things From ’10 We Hope Will Get Dick Cancer
[Ed. note--this post was written in advance of the tragic shooting that occurred on Saturday, Jan. 8 in Arizona. Our thoughts go out to those affected by those events.]
We talked a lot in the closing months of last year how 2010 was BALLS. And you know why it was balls? Because it was a year ruled by DICKS. Dickheads, dickweeds, dickwads, dicktwits, dickfaces, cheesedicks, needledicks, pencil dicks, limp dicks, and a various assortment of Dick Tracies, seemed to poke their, ahem, heads out from all sides. It was actually hard to come up with only 10 Dicks From ’10 because the year was so chock-full of cocksmokers. But somehow, after a little dicking around, we did.
And here they are, 2010′s Most Dickstinguished:
THE PALIN FAMILY
WHY THEY’RE DICKS: Everywhere we turned in 2010, there was another story about somebody named Palin being a dick. There was Todd Palin writing angry, poorly-punctuated emails. There was Willow Palin writing gay slur-slinging, poorly-punctuated Facebook comments. There was Bristol Palin being billed as a “teen activist” and dancing her way horribly to the Dancing With the Stars finals. And then there was Mama Grizzdick herself, Sarah Palin, who showed time and again that not only was she a dick, she was a Dick of All Trades–a refudiating dick, a 1st Amendment-confused dick, an Islamophobic dick, a book-shilling dick, a reality TV dick, a Tea Party dick, and, generally, an all-around fame-trolling dick of the highest magnitude. While it’s clear the Palins are gunning to be the First Family of the United States in 2012, for now, they can pat themselves on the backs for being, hands-down, the First Family of the United States of Dickbags.
OUR SOLUTION: The family of dicks that gets Dick Cancer together stays together. Another idea: JUST. GO. AWAY.
Filed under: 2010 Sucked Ass, Arizona, Arizona SB 1070, BP, BP Oil Spill, Brett Favre, Brett Favre Cheats On Wife, Brett Favre Penis, Brett Favre Sad Weiner, Brett Favre Why Did You Come Back?, Bristol Palin, Cheaters, Decision Points, Dick Cancer, Don't Ask Don't Tell, Everything About the Palins Sucks Ass, George W. Bush, George W. Bush Decision Points, Gwyneth Paltrow, Gwyneth Paltrow Country Strong, Gwyneth Paltrow Sings, Hamburger Helper Helps a Hamburger Help Gwen Make A Great Mess, Jesse James, Jesse James Cheats On Sandra Bullock, Jesse James Nazi Photo, Jesse James PR Suicide, John McCain, Kat Von D, Michelle "Bombshell" McGee, North Korea, Sarah Palin, SB 1070, The Palins, Todd Palin, TSA, TSA Body Scanner
Intern Jasmine’s Links Of The Daysian
Stocking stuffer? A fancy White lady’s “practical” book on interracial dating called, shit you not, I Got The Fever: Better Dating Through Ethnic Stereotypes. [Jezebel]
The problem with Foursquare check-ins in North Korea is that no matter how you try, Kim Jong Il is always going to be awarded mayor of everything. [Gadling]
Shoeless in Shanghai! English filmmaker Arthur Jones is going barefoot for an entire year. [NPR]
If you missed the link among last week’s comments, BusyDad‘s awesome and humbling post about his own personal experience with bullying is a must-read. [The Busy Dad Blog]
American fashion designer Diane Von Furstenberg is making good on her 2010 New Year’s resolution to “get known in China.” [NYT]
Sepia Mutiny makes a strong case for the Desi origins of “the Dougie.” [Sepia Mutiny]
Filed under: Arthur Jones, Bullying, BusyDad, Dating, Diane Von Fursternberg, Dougie, Foursquare, I Got The Fever: Better Dating Through Ethnic Stereotypes, North Korea, Sepia Mutiny, shoeless in Shanghai, Social Media, teach me how to Dougie, The Busy Dad Blog
DOUBLE DISGWITTER OF THE WEAK! Alicia Machado & Paulina Rubio
If Alicia Machado, actress/singer and former Miss Universe, hadn’t quit Twitter, perhaps she would’ve continued to chat with her pal, Mexican singer/actress Paulina Rubio, about the recent public outcry against her prayers for The Chinas. We imagine it might have gone something like…
YoSoyMzUniverse96* Alicia Machado
Me encanta @paurubio, thx 4 ur support w/ all the china drrama! ppl r stoopid
paurubio Paulina Rubio
@yosoymzuniverse96 Hay girl! Dont let haterz hate. All thoz Japanes look the same!
YoSoyMzUniverse96 Alicia Machado
@paurubio wut ppl dont understand is i’m really a good person, jus wanted every1 to pray for those chinese ppl that are being attacked, not the 1s who attacked or nuthing
paurubio Paulina Rubio
@yosoymzuniverse96 besos chica! ppl should be proud that such a hot mama knows so much abt current news affairs. n korea is same place as n asia/s japan, etc. all look same N E wayz Continue reading DOUBLE DISGWITTER OF THE WEAK! Alicia Machado & Paulina Rubio
Filed under: Alicia Machado, Beauty Queens, Celebrity twiter, Confusion, North Korea, Paulina Rubio, Really Dumb People, South Korea, The Chinas, The Japanese, Twitter, We All Look Alike, WTF?
Palin’s Nailin’ It
Blame the Sarah Palin Media Blitz (2010 Edition), but the former governor of Alaska is a big ticket item in the news today. And not just because she’s peddling that new book or officially declaring a run for presidency (President Palin? That event would be so cataclysmic and shameful that just posting the words could implode the DISGRASIAN server). Thank goodness.
Instead, mills were a-buzzin’ when Dancing With The Stars judge Carrie Ann Inaba dished with Access Hollywood about meeting Ms. Palin at the Dancing finale:
“I did meet [Sarah] because, you know, my dad loves her,” Carrie Ann told Billy Bush and Kit Hoover, of Bristol’s mom. “So, I went and introduced myself. I was like, ‘My dad loves you, so, I have to say hello.’
“And you know what? She’s so charming!” Carrie Ann laughed. “I was like, ‘Girl crush!’”
The “crush” continued as Carrie Ann noticed a new glow emanating from “The Pistol’s” Mama Grizzly.
“She’s really nice. And I think she spray-tanned for the finale!” Carrie Ann exclaimed. “One of the crew guys came up and he goes, ‘Look at Sarah. Do you think she spray-tanned?’ And I looked at her and I’m like, ‘I think she did!’”
This is important because truth be told, Jen and I have always wondered how Palin maintains her warm and ruddy glow living all the way in gloomy Alaska! Like, totally, Carrie Ann! GIRL CRUSH! La dee dah!
In other news, Sarah Palin was on the Glenn Beck radio show today and, until corrected by Beck’s co-host, sputtered on a bunch of her usual policy nothings while criticizing the current White House stance on North Korea. Continue reading Palin’s Nailin’ It
Filed under: 2012, Alaska, All Those Asian Countries Look Alike, Carrie Ann Inaba, Carrie Ann Inaba 'Girl Crush' On Sarah Palin, Dancing With the Stars, God Help Us, North Korea, Nukes, President Palin--Like How That Sounds?, Sarah Palin, Sarah Palin Is Not Qualified To Be President, Sarah Palin Is Poison, South Korea, Spray-Tan, Third World War
What It Means When North Korea Is Performing ‘Maintenance’ On Its Server
This is what currently comes up on your screen when you visit “The Official Webpage of The Democratic People’s Republic of Korea”:
TRANSLATION: “The server is currently unable to handle the request due to a temporary unloading of ‘maintenance’ on the South Korean puppet group’s island territory. The implication is that this is a temporary condition that will be alleviated after our enrichment of enough uranium to bomb a bitch’s ass if we feel like it is completed.”
[Reuters: North Korea shells South in fiercest attack in decades]
[Official Website of North Korea]
[AP: Scientist: NKorea has 'stunning' new nuke facility]
Filed under: Bombs, Kim Jong Il, Kim Jung Il, North Korea, North Korea Attacks South Korea, North Korea Attacks South Korean Island, North Korea Uranium Enrichment Program, North Korean Propaganda, Nuclear Weapons, Server Maintenance, South Korea, The Korean War, War, Yeonpyeong Island
Intern Jasmine’s Links Of The Daysian
How long should you “ooh” and “aah” over a panda stuck in a tree (oh no!) before you do the right thing and rescue it? [BuzzFeed]
This gemstone mosaic portrait of Secretary of State Hillary Clinton and her daughter Chelsea, based off a picture of them during a 2000 visit to Vietnam, might be the greatest wedding present EVER. [Huffington Post]
The Hangover 2 is heading to Asia, and shooting is expected to begin in Thailand this fall. Is it too much to hope that there won’t be any “ME RUV YOU RONG TIME” jokes in the script? [Celebuzz]
Takeru Kobayashi says that if he hadn’t, y’know, squabbled over his contract and gotten thrown in the clink, he totally would have won this year’s Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest! [AOL News]
Kim Jong Un may succeed his father Kim Jong Il as the “Dear Leader” of North Korea as early as September. Will he sport the perm, wraparound sunglasses, and tracksuit that made his father a fashion legend? Or develop his own signature look? [The Daily Beast]
Filed under: baby panda, Chelsea Clinton, diplomacy makes for weird gift giving ya'll, Hillary Clinton, Ken Jeong, Ken Jeong better get a more screentime in The Hangover 2, Kim Jong Il, Kim Jong Un, Nathan's Famous, Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest, North Korea, Takeru Kobayashi, The Hangover, The Hangover 2, The Hangover goes to Asia!
Intern Jasmine’s Links Of The Daysian
What's a World Cup without a bedazzled Baby Phat soccer ball?
North Korea would like the United States to pay it $65 trillion for years of hostility [Gawker]
The Korean War started 60 years ago today. [Wikipedia]
Kimora Lee Simmons has been spreading fabulosity to South Africa. [Sowetan - thanks, Michael!]
It’s been a year since Michael Jackson (and Farrah Fawcett!) died. Cebu inmates, take it away. [YouTube]
Filed under: Kim Jong Il, Kimora Lee Simmons, Michael Jackson, North Korea, Philippine Prisoners, The Korean War, World Cup
BABEWATCH: North Korean Footballer Jong Tae-se
Name: Jong Tae-se
Age: 26
Hails from: Japan
Occupation: Striker for North Korea’s 2010 World Cup Team
Y’all, I’m not gonna front. I am not a fan of The Other Football. It’s not that I don’t enjoy watching a soccer match, it’s just that I don’t feel compelled to. I didn’t grow up watching soccer in Texas–soccer was the sport you played at my high school if you were too small for football, basketball, baseball, swimming and even, trust me on this one, tennis–so I’ve never bothered to learn its nuances. I realize that this is considered by most of the world to be a personality defect, and I accept that.
But you don’t need to know much about the game to be intrigued by Jong Tae-se, star striker for North Korea’s 2010 World Cup team, who got pummeled 7-0 by Portugal yesterday, which got TIME magazine wondering if the loss was “A Fatal Loss of Face?” Jong was born and plays professionally in Japan, is third-generation South Korean, but attended North Korean sponsored-schools in Japan, and has chosen to represent North Korea in its first World Cup since 1966.
Continue reading BABEWATCH: North Korean Footballer Jong Tae-se
Filed under: Chong Tese, Dear Leader, Football, Footie, Jong Tae-se, Kim Jong Il, Men Who Cry In Public, Nationalism, North Korea, North Korea World Cup 2010, North Koreans, Soccer, South Koreans, The Other Football, World Cup
ROCK OF ASIAN: Girl Bands To The Rescue
It took me a full day to believe that this headline was real and not just something Tila Tequila got mixed up on her blog:
It refers to South Korea’s plan to use songs and videos from groups like Wonder Girls and Girls Generation to infiltrate and ultimately beat down North Korea.
Girl bands are the new Weapon X? Badass!
From The Chosun Ilbo:
An official in charge of psy ops at the Joint Chiefs of Staff said no decision has been made so far. “It will take months to set up the big screens to use in psychological warfare operations and a wide range of contents will be shown,” the official said. “I don’t know whether songs by girl groups will be included, but there is that chance since pop songs were used in the past.” But he added the content of propaganda broadcasts will not be limited to girl bands.
Continue reading ROCK OF ASIAN: Girl Bands To The Rescue
Filed under: Awesome Ladies, Girl Bands, Girl Generation, Latvia, Latvian Blonde Parade, Legs, North Korea, Propaganda, Psychological Warfare, Riga Latvia, South Korea, The World Is Broken, Wonder Girls
Uh-Oh, North Korea’s Being A Dick Again
First, the bad news: North Korea’s being a dick again.
After South Korea ran an anti-submarine exercise early Thursday–a response to the March torpedo attack committed by North Korea on the Cheonan, a South Korean naval vessel–North Korea got all pissy and issued a stern warning to its neighbors via the Korean Central News Agency (KCNA), North Korea’s state-run news agency.
Now, the good: North Korea’s warning to South Korea is HILARIOUS. The KCNA is a world leader in generating purple prose, and here’s what it had to say this time (via CNN):
“Now that the puppet group challenged the DPRK [North Korea] formally and blatantly, the DPRK will react to confrontation with confrontation, and to a war with an all-out war,” according the KCNA news agency.
The news agency referred to South Korean leaders as a “group of traitors” and said they would experience “unheard of disastrous consequences” if they misunderstand North Korea’s will.
This statement comes a day after this one, which was also issued to South Korea (edited for some semblance of brevity):
As already reported, the south Korean puppet military gangsters have carved slogans for anti-DPRK psychological warfare on walls of MP posts in the Demilitarized Zone along the Military Demarcation Line and are busy resuming the loudspeaker propaganda as part of the said warfare.
The head of the north side delegation to the north-south general-level military talks Wednesday sent the following notice to the south side as regards the reckless moves of the bellicose forces of the puppet military to resume the psychological warfare against the DPRK:
…Such act is nothing but a deliberate and premeditated provocation aimed to push Continue reading Uh-Oh, North Korea’s Being A Dick Again
Filed under: Cheonan, KCNA, Kim Jong Il, Korean Central News Agency, North Korea, North Korea Is a Dick, North Korea Is a Joke, North Korea Is No Joke, Propaganda, Purple Prose, Pyongyang, South Korea, State-Run News Agencies, Torpedo Attack on the Cheonan
