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Look, guys! It’s a photo from the Tokyo premiere of Sex and the City 2!
Oh YOU. Don’t hate. (HA! Look who’s talking!)
I’m going to say this once even though I know that many of you won’t believe me, many more will scoff, and even more will ridicule me for it:
THE MOVIE IS NOT THAT BAD.
I saw it last Thursday, fully convinced it was going to be a stinker–likely for the same reasons as you: Your best friend walked out of the theater grousing about what a drop-kick to feminism this flick is (by the way, should we really be looking to movies that contain bedazzled logos for feminist benchmarks?). The 16% Rotten Tomatoes rating is simply… pathetic. The “I Am Woman” karaoke scene is worse than it sounds (in fact, every musical number is worth a cringe). Someone told you about the burqa escape scene (sadly, true) and multiple appearances/mentions of camels/magic carpets (also true).
Or you saw the first movie, which was downright abysmal.
But by golly, I’ll stand behind my statement. SATC2 is fun, familiar, and a worthwhile way to spend a few evening hours, especially for a die-hard fan that’s willing to watch the PG-macheted, syndicated reruns on TBS every night while ordering dinner (or owns an SJP fragrance). That, my friends, is who I am. Jen is like, my full-on bestie, and even she has only just begun to understand the extend of my SATC nerd-dom. I’m like a Trekkie, but for Sex (or as Jen’s best mate calls us, “sluts!”)
So if you are like me, you love the HBO series unconditionally–despite Miranda Continue reading Sex And The City 2: Shameful Or Spectacular?
Filed under: Aidan Shaw, Alexandra Fong, Amazian Jr., Burqas, Carrie Bradshaw, HBO, Neuroses, Nonsense, Not So Bad, Romps, Sarah Jessica Parker, Sex and The City, Sex and the City 2, Sex and the City Movie Sequel, SJP Fragrances, Sluts, Taking a Hating Break, Trekkies
My sister recently gave birth to my first nephew. Throughout nearly 20 hours of labor, she stayed in contact with everyone who cared about the delivery via countless texts and Facebook status updates, from her iPhone. Observe:
So in a weird way, I can almost understand that however strange and surreal, sometimes technology and sacred moments can wonderfully merge.
But a wedding at the Apple store–in which the vows are read rapidly off of an iPhone screen, guests stand mere feet away from the Genius Bar, the groom pats the bride on the ass before saying “I do,” PEOPLE ALL AROUND THE COUPLE ARE BUYING SHIT, and the whole thing ends up in a video on YouTube?
We know the bar is low for both teenagers and actresses when it comes to awareness of global events and having brains larger than peas and all, but we were still stunned when we read little Taylor Momsen‘s response to OK! Magazine’s inquiry about her thoughts on the Haiti earthquake fallout.
“Um, right now I’m trying to just finish my record and getting through the last season of Gossip Girl for right now. So not so much thinking about that.”
Added Taylor, “But it’s awesome that everyone is ya know working towards a good cause.”
Filed under: 7.0 Earthquake In Haiti, Actresses, Haiti, Haiti Earthquake, Huh?, Idiots, Nonsense, People That Must Live In A Fucking Cave, People That Should Never Be Considered Role Models, Resenting the Young, Shock, Taylor Momsen, Teenagers, Wacktresses, WTF?, Young Hollywood
My mom loves Dancing with the Stars, so–against all of my instincts–I’ve actually promised to give it a shot this season.
Thing is, the season opener boasted two of the most intense television moments I’ve ever witnessed:
Mark Dacascos and Lacey Schwimmer’s “Asian-themed” kung-fu/cha cha cha hybrid routine, set to the charming tune of Carl Douglas’s “Kung Fu Fighting, for one. (Here’s my point: Isn’t doing the cha cha cha almost Asian enough? Have you guys watched your parents at weddings?)
And, worse, or… better, or… I really don’t know, the super awkweird Me-Daddy-You-Jane cha cha cha of Tom DeLay and Cheryl Burke–who I guess would be two of my favorite people in bizarro world. DeLay can’t really help that he’s, well Tom DeLay. I get that. But some things he should never do EVER AGAIN are strum an air guitar, mouth dirty words to a woman in her twenties, and… cha cha cha.
The result of both in concert: CREEPY TINGLES EVERYWHERE, and we’re just talking about episode one!! I’m fucking scarred for life!
And you know what, I don’t know if I can go through this kind of trauma again. Not even for my mother (Sorry, Mom!). We’ll see.
Watch the full episode here, if you dare.
For the “bong hit heard ’round the world,” Michael Phelps was forced to pay some dues: He apologized. His mom apologized. His bong apologized. His contract with Kellogg won’t be renewed, and in lockstep, Subway almost dropped him as well (Thankfully–now I can still order $5 footlongs when necessary). In order to keep Mazda from pulling their funds as well, the man with the golden stroke was even asked to submit this enthusiastic video apology to his “friends in” (read: all of) China:
Call me a derelict, but am I the only one that thinks all of this nonsense is much ado about bong hit? Phelps has been put through the ringer for a photo he did not pose for, because he was smoking weed (like most of you will do this weekend). I don’t care. I don’t want him to apologize! I want him to go home and polish his medals, and post some pictures of his abs to put up on Facebook.
Meanwhile, Chris Brown and Miley Cyrus stay mum about their recent bouts of questionable behavior, our 43rd President will probably never apologize for his crimes against humanity, and Anne Hathaway shall forever owe the world an apology for her insufferable acceptance speech at this year’s Critic’s Choice Awards.
Seems a bit off to me, but maybe I’m just baked.
Filed under: Bong Hits, China, Chris Brown, I Don't Get Anne Hathaway, Kellogg, Marijuana, Mazda, Michael Phelps, Miley Cyrus, Nonsense, Public Apologies, Subway, This is Bullshit, Weed, Weird American Behavior
Jon Voight, second Runner-up for Dad-of-the-Century (Michael Lohan and Papa Joe put in such competitive bids), has spoken up this week on why the Democrats are making a piss-poor candidate choice for the upcoming Presidential election, in a dense editorial printed in the Washington Times.
We, as parents, are well aware of the importance of our teachers who teach and program our children. We also know how important it is for our children to play with good-thinking children growing up.
Sen. Barack Obama has grown up with the teaching of very angry, militant white and black people: the Rev. Jeremiah Wright, Louis Farrakhan, William Ayers and Rev. Michael Pfleger. We cannot say we are not affected by teachers who are militant and angry. We know too well that we become like them, and Mr. Obama will run this country in their mindset…
…there’s not a cell in my body that can accept the idea that Mr. Obama can keep us safe from the terrorists around the world, and from Iran, which is making great strides toward getting the atomic bomb. And while a misleading portrait of Mr. Obama is being perpetrated by a media controlled by the Democrats, the Obama camp has sent out people to attack the greatness of Sen. John McCain, whose suffering and courage in a Hanoi prison camp is an American legend.
My gracious. Quite a lot of Hardass Parenting words from a man who lied and cheated on his wife, has been publicly shamed by his own daughter (after “teaching and programming” both of his offspring’s ways towards drug-abusing, sibling-tonguing, skin-cutting, parent-omitting young-life crises), and who can’t remember the name of his grandchild?
Brother, please. Leave the preaching to the Reverends.
Filed under: Bad Parenting, Barack Obama, Brother Please, Dads, Fear-Mongers, Hardass Parents of All Colors, John McCain, Jon Voight is a Tool, McCarthyites, Nonsense, Public Shaming, Reverends, Wesley Clark
A Historical Timeline of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Rights Progress, 1860-2008:
1860. German activist Karl Heinrich Ulrichs “pioneers” the LGBT rights movement, by coming out publicly and writing books about boy-boy and girl-girl lurve as well as gender variance. He fancies himself “a female psyche in a male body,” which makes him kinda DISGRASIAN’s 19th century soul sista!
1898. German doctor and scribe Magnus Hirschfeld forms the Scientific-Humanitarian Committee to combat the “Paragraph 175″ Law, which makes sex between men illegal.
1940s. The homophile (focused on love more than sex) movement begins with groups in the Netherlands and Denmark, and continue throughout the 1950s and 1960s with groups in Sweden, Norway, the United States, France, Britain and elsewhere. ONE, Inc. is the first public homosexual organization in the United States.
1969. After the Stonewall riots, in which a group of transgender, lesbian and gay male patrons at a New York bar resist a police raid, the Gay Liberation movement rallies and fluorishes. Organizations like the Gay Liberation Front and Gay Activists’ Alliance are born, bringing together hundreds of people that are loud, proud, queer, here, and damned sure to make people used to it.
1990. Queer Nation is founded by AIDS activists from the group ACT UP. Outraged at growing anti-gay and lesbian violence on the streets and prejudice in the media, they start using confrontational tactics and slogans to show that they are a formidable foe.
2004. Massachusetts recognizes gay marriage as legal. Connecticut, Vermont, New Jersey, and New York create unions for same-sex partnerships that aren’t marriages, explicitly defined as offering all the rights and responsibilities of marriage under state (though not federal) law to same-sex couples. Maine, Hawaii, District of Clumbia, Oregon, and Washington create legal unions for same-sex couples that offer varying subsets of the rights and responsibilities of marriage under the laws of those jurisdictions.
2008. The Caliornia Supreme Court rules that excluding same-sex couples from marriage is unconstitutional. Effectively, gay marriage becomes legal in California. DISGRASIAN drinks multiple glasses of rose champagne to celebrate!
2008. Reality star Tila Tequila takes credit for the good news in California: ““It is because of me. I definitely think (my show) has helped the movement… Before it came out, everyone was still a little apprehensive about (same sex relationships), then they realized, ‘Wow, everyone is really into this stuff, and it is fine.’ The next thing you know, (gay marriage) is legal.”