You are currently browsing posts tagged with Nick Lachey

Intern Jasmine’s Links Of The Daysian

June 22nd, 2011 | 6 comments | Posted by jasmine

Apparently, the Sad Keanu meme made Keanu Reeves so happy that he wrote a book about it. [The Guardian]

Quite the Casual Friday: Shanghai man goes to work in his Iron Man suit, which is actually REALLY impressive. [Laughing Squid]

Teen Vogue’s Eva Chen’s personal Tumblr blog is stylish, charming, and totally follow-worthy. [whatever eva wants]

Starlet Tila Tequila recently revealed that she suffers from an eating disorder. [ via Thick Dumpling Skin]

An Aussie newsman attempted to tell the Dalai Lama a joke, which happened to not be funny. But the video is. [Boing Boing]

Pretty B-list, even for B-listers: the wedding of former boy bander Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo will be televised. [PopSugar - thanks, Diana!]

I “dye”! Folks in China are dyeing their pets to look like wild animals, and it’s kinda freakin’ adorable. [CNN - Global Public Square]

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Words That Shall Resonate No Longer: "Vanick" and "Ninessa"

June 25th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

The impossible has happened.


After three years of dating, some well-documented spats, and a handful of dropped “Where’s the ring?” hints, the inevitable has happened: Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo, world’s least interesting sublebrity couple, have called it quits.

And no, we can’t really imagine a good reason to ever talk about this again.

[via ONTD]

Thanks, Jasmine!

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Vanessa MinNILlo, Blogger

October 27th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Our friend Slanty wrote about Vanessa Minnillo’s blog last week and pointed out that there was a whole lotta nuthin’ going on over there…

Which sounds about right.

Thanks, Jasmine!

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Just Another Daysian In Togethersville

April 9th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

NICK: Ah, just another dinner at DISGRASIAN’s favorite restaurant, Katsu-Ya. Dude, I’m so full of crab rolls. I need a little fresh air.

VANESSA: Nick, roll that window up. Can’t you see I’ve got something in my eye? I think it’s an eyelash.

NICK: Is it an eyelash in your eye or are you still pissed that I patted the waitress on the behind when she took the specials menu away?

VANESSA: She was pissed, not me. Remember how she called you a filthy, fat, D-lister? You better wait awhile before you go back there.

NICK: Good point.

VANESSA: That window is still down! Everyone is taking pictures! I look all irritated! Now everyone’s going to think we’ve broken up!

NICK: Are we breaking up?

VANESSA: No, stupid! We’re a celebrity couple! We brag all the time about how happy and well adjusted we are.

NICK: Right. We are really well adjusted. So we’re not breaking up, but somebody’s going to think we’ve broken up.

VANESSA: Yes, dummy. Although I’m starting to get just irritated enough to want to break up with you.

NICK: You do? You can’t do that!

VANESSA: Well I would, if it would raise either one of our StarMeters, just a little bit.

NICK: Do you think it would?

VANESSA: (sighs) No.

NICK: God, I’m so bored.

VANESSA: God, I’m so bored.

NICK: I sure hope somebody cares if we’re breaking up.


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I Guess I Know Who Wears the Pants in the Family

February 22nd, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Congratulasians to Vanessa Minnillo, who today confirmed to People that she has been cast in her first feature film, Redefining Love. The former Miss Teen USA also told the magazine that boyfriend Nick Lachey is “one of my biggest cheerleaders,” which confirmed that he is still a big tool.


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My Parents Don’t Approve of Nick and Vanessa "Playing House" and Neither Do I

December 5th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

I hate to puke.

But when I’m driving around the city and I’m pulled up to a stoplight and I’m clucking my tongue to tunes and checking out pedestrians, my eyes will settle on the license plate frame on the car in front of me. “Rachel and Marc…Meant to Be” indeed! I saw this the other day. I promptly hurled into my travel coffee mug.

Who does this? Are these the same people that buy “relationship” photo albums? Or who get decals of their initials + their lovah of two month’s initials = 4eva? What IS this? Why is this?

I will declare it here and now, no self-respecting couple should do such things. If you are one of these dorks, it doesn’t matter if you donate to Africa or have two broken legs or buy me 30 Hermes bracelets. I hate you. I really do. You are making the world drippier, sadder, and uglier. You are like a french-country epidemic, infecting the planet one frilly photo at a time. BLEGH. BLEGHHH.

Oh, and you, Nick and Vanessa?

…you are so that couple, and I hate you, you goons. BLEGH. I just ruined my new blouse.


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Is There a Definition for B-List in the Dictionary?

August 27th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana
“Celebrity Couple” Vanessa Minnillo and Nick Lachey
at the Richard Karn Celebrity Softball Game in Tacoma, WA

VANESSA: So wait, why are we here again?

NICK: It’s a celebrity baseball game. We’re the celebrities.

VANESSA: Oh. Well you were in, like, a second-tier boy band in the early 2000s.

NICK: Vaness, don’t start with me. You’re just a former beauty queen. So was Delta Burke.

VANESSA: I was an MTV Veejay!

NICK: So was Jesse Camp.

VANESSA: Oh my god. We’re nobodies.

NICK: No, baby. We’re somebody! For instance, I partly-own this baseball team: The Rainiers.


NICK: The minor league team.

VANESSA: Minor league? Who watches the minors? Who cares if you partly own a minor team? It’s not like you’re Jerry Buss or something.

NICK: That was fucked up. I can’t believe you just said that.

VANESSA: I know, sweetie. I’m sorry. Okay, so if this is a team, then why are we playing?

NICK: It’s a celebrity game.

VANESSA: Ooh! Where are the other celebrities?


VANESSA: They’re US?

NICK: What are you trying to say?

VANESSA: Oh my god. Can we go to Koi or something when we get back to LA? I’m having a meltdown. I thought you were raising my stock.

NICK: What stock?

VANESSA: My stock! My stock! I want to have a higher StarMeter score on IMDB!

NICK: Listen, we’re being photographed. We’re going to be on WireImage like ka-ray-zee tomorrow.

VANESSA: Really?

NICK: Really.

VANESSA: People care about this shit?

NICK: Sorta! Nobody really has anything better to do!

VANESSA: Where are the cameras?

NICK: There. [points] And there.


VANESSA (cont’d): …Take that, Jessica. This shit better be in US Weekly. Do I look happy and carefree? It’s baseball!

NICK: Mrrnnmmph!! Take the picture!!!


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I am Happy, Oh so Happy

July 18th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Perhaps in an effort to compete with her nemesis replacement ex-husband’s girlfriend Vanessa Minnillo’s crazy face:

Jessica Simpson did her best to rock the crazy with an assortment of retahded nerdbombalicious scary spastic happy poses at the recent launch of her swimline.

“I’m so glad that Nick has moved on!”

“Her boobs look great in that bikini… better than that little slut did while she was getting banged from behind by my husband.”

“What, me worry? I’m still relevant! People want to buy my cheap shoes, swimwear, and ugly hair extensions! I’m a catch! I can have any man I want!”

“I think Ashlee just lost another pound and Adam Levine just texted me to ‘leave him the fuck alone.’ I’m a has-been with no style and a flabby rack. Maybe Ken Paves will screw me.”

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Then Again, Maybe Not

July 13th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Oh Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo. Just as I was starting to think you guys might actually be kind of cool, you had to go and remind me that you are just really just a pair of B-list saccharine douchetards:

EWWWWWWWWWWWWW! You guys are so LAME! “Our secret life” my ass. I promise you, unless there are s&m swings and/or spy work involved, your secret life is as boring as my 3rd grade diary–which read a little something like this:

“Hey Diary,

How are you? I’m great. So much to tell, I don’t even know where to start. So what happened today… Social Studies, English… SCHOOL! I can’t believe we have to go to school. But I got to sit next to Jared C. (sigh!) today at lunch, it was A-W-E-S-O-M!

You should have been there, Diary!!

Anyway, that’s all for now!
More Later!
Good night!

Love (and kisses),

But back to this dreadful zzZZZzZZzcelebrity coulple–oh sorry, I dozed off– it all gets so much worse:

Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick. Why haven’t you learned? Cheesing out your romance is like severing off your own pecker. Don’t you remember this?

I would refer to it as a manhood LOW.

Trust me.

Now hightail it to some new tropical resort and screw on VIDEO! It’s the only way.


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July 2nd, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana
“Islands in the stream, that is what we are…”

I’ve always kind of assumed that Nick Lachey was a pretty run-of-the-mill, I’ll-wait-for-my-wife’s-dad-to-unlock-her-chastity-belt, first base-second base-third base-home, missionary-position-for-14-minutes-in-the-master-bedroom-on-Tuesday kind of guy. Why wouldn’t he be? He married one of those righteous blonde virgins (once), and all of his MTV reality counterparts are reportedly so sucky in the bedroom no one will even bother to bust them on it.

However, TMZ just reported that Mr. Lachey and his Vaseline-smile woman were caught on camera getting damn freaky in the hot tub of a private Mexican resort.

TMZ has learned that the rest of the roll shows the two not only making out, but having hardcore sex in the hot tub. A source who has seen the photos tells TMZ that they are “Paris sex tape-level scandalous,” and include images of the couple in several different sex positions. That’s hot!

Well, well, well. Maybe you two aren’t so boring after all. I’m liking you both more already.


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Beach Beautificasian

May 14th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

VANESSA MINNILLO: Some people look better au naturel, Nick.

NICK LACHEY: Not everyone.


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May 9th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

TMZ reported today that Nick Lamechey had to be restrained by girlfriend Vanessa Minnillo when a drunk guy grabbed Nick’s arm during a pre-Derby party last weekend, causing Vanessa to fall down.

Dude. Chillax. I’m all for male chivalry, but you’re Nick Lachey. Be stoked that someone still cares enough to grab your arm at a party.

Insanity Barometer, goin’ up!


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