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Seven Steps To Being A Perfect Gentlemasian Like Hines Ward

May 6th, 2011 | 3 comments | Posted by Diana

Step 1: SMILE. Smile when you’re mad, smile when you’re sad, smile when you’re pissed, smile when you’ve been kissed.

Step 2: Always think of the children.

Step 3: Love yo’ mama.

Step 4: Attempt to balance out the shame of your friend or teammate’s shameful antics by doing cool stuff, like getting appointed by your cool president to be on a cool advisory commission.

Step 5: Be light on your feet and smooth in your hips.

Step 6: Win whenever possible.

and…

Step 7: If you and a friend are held up at gunpoint by NoHo police due to a mix-up regarding said friend’s Honda Civic, which was mistakenly reported stolen, cooperate like a stand-up citizen. Never devolve into a self-aggrandized asshole jerk that says, “Do you know who I am? Do you know who I am? You wanna how many Super Bowl rings I got, ya fuckin’ pig?? I’m gonna go all James Harrison on your ass!” AND after the Continue reading Seven Steps To Being A Perfect Gentlemasian Like Hines Ward

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BIRTHDAY CELEBRASIAN!

October 9th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana


Happy 53rd birthday to Yo-Yo Ma! May you hear beautiful music all year long.

P.S. You seem like you would make a really nice uncle. Wanna be ours?

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BIRTHDAY CELEBRASIAN!

September 4th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana


Oh Keanu, Keanu, Keanu. We make fun of you an awful lot, and always have (You played Ted! You surfed in Point Break! You thought Speed 2 was a good career move!), but only with the best intentions at heart. You see, we like you! We think you seem like a nice guy, if a bit of a blunt object, and we can’t deny how purty your mug is when it isn’t all scruffed up with face pubes.

So happy 44th birthday, dude! You really do make 44 look good. Have you been using anti-asian cream on that soft skin o’ yours?

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