You are currently browsing posts tagged with Nguyens Rule

BABEWATCH: Hunson Nguyen

September 7th, 2010 | 1 comment | Posted by Diana




Name: Hunson Nguyen

Hails from: Ptown

Occupation: Graphic designer, Tumblr theme creator, blogger, Portland State University student

Why He’s A Babe: Sure, he’s athletic–a former competitive swimmer. And he loves cute things. He’s a crunchy, friendly, proud Pacific Northwesterner. And he’s got the coolest last name this side of Wang.

This guy manages not one blog, not two blogs–and nope, not just three blogs. Oh, I’m sorry, did I just type “just three blogs?” I meant, “HOW THE HELL DOES THIS GUY GO TO SCHOOL AND SOCIAL NETWORK AND SPEND TIME OUTDOORS BEING ALL OREGONY AND SIMULTANEOUSLY RUN MULTIPLE TUMBLR BLOGS WHEN I ALMOST HAVE A WEEKLY MELTDOWN JUST TRYING TO KEEP ONE FRICKIN’ BLOG UP AND RUNNING, AND I HAVE A PARTNER!??”

I don’t know, but something about the new millennium has made “multitasking” one of man’s most attractive qualities. Hunson is quite the multitasker.

[Tumblr Staff: Hunson Nguyen]
[Hunson Is Groovy]

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All I Want For Christmas Is… A $750 Cupcake

December 18th, 2009 | 5 comments | Posted by Diana

When I first read on Poketo that there was a $750 cupcake at the The Sweet Surrender Cupcake and Candy Shop in the newly-opened Palazzo of Las Vegas, I thought it sounded so stupid.

Cup o' Gold

Cup o' Gold

I mean, check out the pretentious and douchey description she pulled from LAist:

… A sumptuous cupcake, handcrafted from the most exclusive, rich, and enterprising ingredients around the globe. One main ingredient in Decadence D’Or is Palmira Single Estate Chocolate. This special chocolate varietal is derived from the rare and fragile Porcelana Criollo bean and cultivated to its fullest state of richness exclusively at the Valrhona plantation in Venezuela. Complementary to the Palmira Single Estate Chocolate is Tahitian Gold Vanilla Caviar- the world’s most labor-intensive agricultural crop. This fruit, after it is ripened for nine months, then hand-harvested, cured, sweat, dried, and hand-split, is obtained only Continue reading All I Want For Christmas Is… A $750 Cupcake

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BIRTHDAY CELEBRASIAN! Scotty Nguyen

October 29th, 2009 | 2 comments | Posted by Diana

Happy 47th birthday to Scotty Nguyen!

Poker Playa

Poker Playa

Nguyen is one of those dudes that my parents would never associate with publicly, because he drinks and smokes and curses and does drugs and has lost his fortune over and over again as a direct result of his vices.

But deep down, I know they love him. After all, he’s Vietnamese, and he’s such a consistent winner. Any time a Nguyen is winning in Vegas, my mom is happy.

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BIRTHDAY CELEBRASIAN! Dustin Nguyen

September 17th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana


Happy birthday to Dustin Nguyen (the only actor Diana has ever lied about being related to), who turns 47 today! His sultry smirk has made us swoon since the first time the opening credits of 21 Jump Street rolled on our staticky family TV screens–and, quite frankly, that smile might actually be more powerful now.

No better time than Nguyen’s birthday to get active with the Christopher and Dana Reeve Foundation, which he and wife Angela have been ambassadors for since 2005. It’s the birthday gift that keeps on giving, so give it!

[Christopher and Dana Reeve Foundation]

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iPhone Voice Command Is, Um, Racist!

September 3rd, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana


Dear Apple,

Hi! How’s it going? Typing this note on my trusty MacBook, as always. :)

So I was hanging with my dude this week, playing around on his awesome new iPhone 3GS. Holy moly, is that a fun little machine. I foresee us taking many videos of babies, editing them instantly, and sending them to friends. Neat.

I’ve just got one little gripe to make. It’s the Voice Control feature. I think it’s racist. Don’t tell me technology can’t be racist. Trust me, it can. See, Voice Control loves the name “Willis Bullard.” It could call Willis all day long. “G Scott Barrett,” easy as pie.

Here’s a name it hates. Diana Nguyen. And what I really think it hates is the NGUYEN. That is bullshit, Apple! It’s bullshit!

Okay fine, I understand that there are a lot of fuckin’ consonants in that there Vietnamese name, but trust that it was said “en-goo-yen” “ung-yoo-en” “win” “noo-win” “noo-yen” “gnu-yeen”–Egh. I won’t continue. But there have been many permutations attempted. When “Diana Nguyen” is spoken into Voice Control, who does the iPhone want to call? Lots of different white folks. Not me, not the seven people in my family that share my surname and also occupy space in the address book. It totally sucks!

Is there any possible way to fix this, any formula we can apply to get around it? Hey–I’m just trying to help. I’m asking for all of the Nguyens in the world!!

Y’know what? Fuck it. I’ll get real with you. We’re just talking about me here. And it’s a very gentle request. All I’m asking is that iPhone’s Voice Control function gets an update soon that accounts for the last name Nguyen, so that when my boyfriend speaks my name into his phone to call me he doesn’t DIAL HIS EX-GIRLFRIEND FIVE TIMES IN A ROW, WITH THAT CHARMING VOICE COMMAND READING HER NAME–WHICH IS IN NO WAY SIMILAR TO MINE–ALOUD OVER AND OVER, ANNOYING ME MORE AND MORE EACH TIME, MAKING ME WANT TO STAB HIS NEW IPHONE IN ITS MOTHERFUCKING FACE UNTIL IT’S DEAD, MOTHERFUCKING DEAD.

Okay? Okay, cool.

Talk to you soon! Feel free to send me a free MacBook Air or whatever.

xoxo,
Diana

[Apple: Introducing iPhone 3GS]

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BABEWATCH: Thuy Nguyen

January 27th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Name: Thuy Nguyen

Hails from: La La

Occupation: Co-founder of the blog organic, Green Grown and Sexy.

Why She’s A Babe: Yes, we’re biased because she rocks a most attractive surname. But bias aside, Nguyen’s a glamorously un-crunchy poster girl for the new green millenium: a pretty lady that recycles, kicks back sustainable liquor, would rather go naked than wear fur–but would still look great in a bikini.

Listen, we’re human! And we’re often swayed by a pretty face. With a spokesperson like her nudging at us to do so, we can almost imagine ourselves giving up Korean BBQ and frito pie. Almost.

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Nguyen is the Ngu Smith

December 18th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

When I was a kid, I hated my last name: Nguyen. Not because it was Vietnamese, or because it looked funny–just because it was hard to say. It was difficult for telemarketers (“Can I please speak to Mister Engoovknen?”). It was tough for teachers (“Next to read her essay, Diana N–N–win.”). It was even a challenge for me (“New-yen. Well, that’s how I say it. Okay, there’s a proper way to say it in Vietnamese, but that requires accents, and this isn’t, well… this is just how my family and I say it…”). The name was a fucking drag. My name was just a goddamned drag.

As an adult, however, I fell in love with Nguyen. I love the N on both ends. I love when bartenders try to correct me on the pronunciation. I love that folks who take meetings with me prepare to tell me that they know other Nguyens, or share that they had a favorite Pho restaurant when they lived in the Bay area. I love the way Nguyen sounds when said aloud (whether you pronounce it like my parents, like my friend Jenny, like CNN anchor Betty, or like me), and how it looks in my fancy cursive handwriting on textured stationary. On paper, I think the six letters look strong (unlike more delicate Viet surnames like Do or Le, though those are also nice), and they remind me that I’ve got plenty of blood in me from my father’s pragmatic, thoughtful, gentle family to balance out the high-strung, prideful, wacky-but-fun dysfunctional blood of my mom’s side.

It makes me wonder then, how a name that brings me so much pride and joy is starting to feel more like a growing source of such painful, awful shame–as a result of others that share my beautiful moniker doing a bad job of reprzenting. This kinda thing happens all the time. I’m sure it’s hard, for example, to be so-and-so Nixon, Gilooly, Madoff, Palin, or Bush (kind of the reverse of how it’s great to be a Kennedy) and hold your head up high.

For the last three years or so, it’s become increasingly difficult to be a Nguyen, what with that famous “bisexual” of the same last name running around town, sullying all of our reps. Tila Tequila doesn’t even bother to use “Nguyen” in interviews unless she’s telling some sob story about her parents being immigrants (a subject easily trumped if someone prefers to ask about her tits)–yet still, that tiny bit of shared identity holds the capacity to pain all of the other Nguyens so deeply.

And to think it could get worse.

One of our readers unleashed a terrible truth on me today: the nameless ginormous boob skank (Wait, don’t call her that!) that shot to anonymous fame via one unfortunate Michael Phelps photo-op actually has a name–and that name is… Nguyen.

In fact, Naomi Nguyen, apparently a former fighter/now actress, has her own official website, replete with more ginormous boob photos:

Still not a ginormous boob skank

But there’s more than just a name! You can actually get to know her in this charming, candid interview:

Okay. She’s no genius. She’s got some crazy fuckin’ circus boobies. But you know, I wouldn’t exactly state that I have anything against this not-ginormous boob skank per se.

…I just really, really, really, really, really wish we didn’t have the same last name.

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Californiasians Say ‘I Do’ to Gay Marriage

October 15th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Good news: the majority of Asian-Americans in California support gay marriage, and will vote “no” in November on Proposition 8, the gay marriage ban. A recent poll conducted by researchers at Cal, UC Riverside, USC, and Rutgers shows 57% of Asian-American voters voting against Prop 8, with only 32% for and 11% undecided.

Well done, people. And I say this for your sake. Because I know that Diana was not kidding around the other day when she said, “Prop 8 is a disgusting, insecure, unfair resolution to the problems held deep by an ignorant sub-population crippled by fear,” and threatened to drunk-dial the bigots who support it. I like to think of her as the warmer and fuzzier half of DISGRASIAN, but that’s only if you’re on her good side (plying her with gifts of Marni, cool cigarette lighters, anything related to owls, single malt scotch, and coasters–girlfriend loves a coaster–does help).

As for the 32% voting for Proposition 8, I strongly recommend that you unplug your phones starting now.

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Thanks, Margie!

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AMAZIAN OF THE WEEK! CNN’s Betty Nguyen

September 15th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen


Name: Betty Nguyen

Hails from: Texas

Occupation: CNN Newsroom weekend anchor

I’ll admit, I find most Asian-American TV news reporters annoying. They’re either plastic surgery nightmares like KCAL 9′s Mia Lee or too fuckin’ perfect like Connie Chung or totally frivolous like the Chenbot. Also, they’re the girls our mothers always compare us with, as in, “Why can’t you be more like (fill-in-the-blank-Asian-lady-reporter)? She’s on TV all the time. She’s very big in the (fill-in-the-blank-Asian-ethnicity) community. And very, very pretty, though she wears a little too much makeup.”

But Friday night, when I got home from a concert and flipped on CNN for Hurricane Ike news, I took a shine to Betty Nguyen, who was reporting from Houston. Well, reporting’s not quite the word. It was more like, being blown about by hurricane-force winds in the middle of the night in a sad-looking, rain-soaked CNN parka while still managing to look spunky and game. I couldn’t reach my parents at the time, because their power–along with over a million others’–was out. And I was a little worried. Watching Betty steady herself and squint through the rain in her eyes that looked like tears, however, I felt weirdly soothed. And I reasoned:

Betty Nguyen is Texasian. So, of course, she’s “staring down” Ike. And she looks goooood, too, even though it’s the middle of the night and she has no makeup on. How does she not have huge bags under her eyes? Bitch. Oh, but she’s so cute. And she’s a Nguyen. Nguyens are Jungle Asians; they’ll fuck your shit up from here to next Tuesday. God, she’s teensy. But she’s not blowing away. So if this 100 lb. chick isn’t blowing away, neither will my parents. Phew! OMG. I love Betty Nguyen. She is such a dope storm-chaser! Hope she didn’t ruin her shoes in that puddle!

And, as it turns out, my parents, like Betty Nguyen, are doing just fine. Does that have anything to do with CNN’s hawt Hapa (Vietnamese-white) reporter staring down the storm? I can’t say fer sure, but I’m willing to believe it!

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