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I sat down to write about the fallout that’s ensued since ESPN editor Anthony Federico wrote that “Chink In The Armor” headline a little over a week ago, and I ended up with a bunch of stories about myself. In some ways though, I think these notes better articulate my frustration and anger over many of the conversations that have taken place about Jeremy Lin with regard to race than explicit words to that effect would have. Or maybe I just really like talking about myself.
For most of my life, I’ve been a sports fan. I was born and raised in Texas, so it was mandatory. More to the point, I was born and raised Chinese American in Texas. I couldn’t look like my peers, I couldn’t be accepted as an equal by many of my peers, but I could root for the same teams as my peers. And somewhere deep down, I probably figured that if I could demonstrate the same devotion to the idols of my peers, they would eventually come around to the idea that I wasn’t all that different from them, and perhaps even accept me as one of their own.
My father arrived in College Station, Texas from Taiwan in 1965 on a student visa. Continue reading Chink In The Stands, An Asian American Fan’s Notes
Filed under: #1 Fan, Alex Rodriguez, Asian Americans, Chink, Chink in the Armor ESPN, Chink in the Armor Headline, Dwight Clark, ESPN, Fandom, Houston Rockets, Jeremy Lin, Joe Montana, MLB, NBA, New York Knicks, NFL, Pudge Rodriguez, Race Dialogue, Race Discussions, Racist Slurs, San Francisco 49ers, Sports, Sports Fans, Taiwanese-Americans, Texas, Texas A&M, Texas A&M Aggies, Texas Rangers, The Catch, The Dallas Cowboys, Wen Ho Lee
Guys, I’m gonna be honest. I’ve been a quieter football fan this year.
Err, umm, I’ve had my reasons.
I am so friggin’ elated. So excited. So proud. So…
…preoccupied by the shame I feel about one turd guy. UGH. How does he ruin EVERYTHING?
Filed under: AFC Champions, Bad Reprzentatives, Ben Roethlisberger, Dallas, Dicks, Did Not Think This Was Our Year, Football, Giving People Reason To Talk Smack, I Bleed Black And Gold For The Rooneys Not Roethlisberger, Insults To My Steeler Pride, NFL, Party Poopers, Pittsburgh Steelers, Quarterbacks, Sex Offenders (Alleged), Shame, Stairway To Seven, Steelers, Steelers v Packers Super Bowl, Super Bowl 45, Super Bowl XLV, Surprises
By the grace of the football gods, my Steelers are currently 5-2 and holding strong in the AFC North –despite kicking off the season with four games sans their starting quarterback/resident douchebag. Last week was particularly painful–the boys (with douchebag) lost a great contest after a gritty fight with the awesome and beloved NOLA Saints.
As usual, I grumbled at the idiot calling plays and getting sacked on the field. Always the Hardass Asian Steelerfan: “Roethlisberger, you tool, move that ball! Why can’t you be more like Drew Brees? Look at your brothers Hines Ward and Mewelde Moore Troy Polamalu and James Farrior. They work so much harder than you. So much smarter!”
I was ultimately surprised to read that safety Troy “ol’ reliable” Polamalu placed the blame for the Saints loss squarely on his own broad, Samoan-American shoulders. To the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review, he said:
“I think there are times in games where there were a lot of opportunities to make plays, and I didn’t make them,” he told the Tribune-Review. “It doesn’t have anything to do with anything physical with me, and maybe I’m second-guessing myself a little too much. But, other than that, we’re 5-2.”
Teammate Ryan Clark told the newspaper that Polamalu felt that he let the team down, which makes sense considering Polamalu’s addiction to perfection (the only addiction that is, by the way, so fucking ASIAN). But is my favorite safety really to blame for a loss against the NFL’s defending champions? Nah!
Still, I doubt anyone could convince Polamalu he’s wrong unless they’re married to him. I wouldn’t try. So my suggestion for redemption is simple: perfectly pound the Bengals tonight on Monday Night Football. Nothing says “I won’t fail again” like kicking kitty ass and taking names.
First Tiger Woods, now Junior Seau…what is it about the Cadillac Escalade that makes it the perfect getaway car for men involved–allegedly–in domestic disputes?
Seau, who was arrested Sunday night on suspicion of domestic violence committed against his 25 year-old live-in girlfriend, drove his 3-ton SUV off a seaside cliff a few hours after the arrest. The NFL veteran came away from the accident with minor injuries and reportedly told police that he had fallen asleep at the wheel. His agent, Mike Kinkler, told ESPN that the arrest and the accident were unrelated.
“One had nothing to do with the other,” Kinkler said. “It’s unfortunate the two events happened so close together, but what people are reporting is completely untrue.”
Uh-huh. That’s what Tiger said.
This can’t possibly help the reputation of the Escalade as the douchemobile of choice, but it likely won’t hurt sales either, especially since Cadillac’s have soared 43.8% in the first nine months of this year. Because even philanderers and wife-beaters–alleged, that is–need a bumpin’ set of wheels.
Filed under: Alleged Girlfriend Beaters, American Samoans, Arrests, Cadillac, Cadillac Escalade, Dicks, Domestic Disputes, Domestic Violence, Douchemobiles, Douches, Junior Seau, NFL, NFL Players, Pacific Islanders, Philanderers, Tiger Woods, Wife-Beaters
Happy birthday to Dean Cain, who will turn 44 on Saturday!
I remember the first time I laid eyes on this warm-skinned, super-duper man on a classic episode of 90210 when he was the gullible, white-toothed, sexy-eyed Wisconsin boy that bought Brenda Walsh’s bad French act one summer in Paris. I couldn’t believe a guy so dumb and wholesome could also be wicked hot and intriguing, but oh, how he was.
Time has treated this hapa well, which makes me very happy. Why oh why did I ever stop stalking this guy?
Hails from: Virginia
Occupation: Professional football player
So, first the good news: Over the weekend, 6’5″, 309 lbs. (no, that is not a typo) offensive tackle Ed Wang became the first Chinese American player drafted into the NFL.
As a Chinese American, a Wang, and a lifelong football fan, I weep for joy.
Now, the bad: He’s going to the Bills.
As a Chinese American, a Wang, and a lifelong football fan who’s always considered the Bills the whipping boy of the NFL–they last went to the playoffs in ’99, they’ve never won a championship, and they hold the dubious distinction of being the only team who’s gone to (and lost) four consecutive Super Bowls–I just weep.
Ah, well…two steps forward, one step back!
To learn more about Ed Wang, watch the video below. His parents Robert and Nancy are former Chinese Olympians–dad was a high-jumper, mom was a hurdler–and they’re cute as all get out. In that Hardass Asian Parent way, of course. Choice quote from Ed’s dad:
Filed under: Asian Football Players, Big Wangs, Chinese-Americans, Ed Wang, Edward Wang, First Chinese American NFL Football Player Ed Wang, firsts, Football, History, NFL, NFL Draft, Olympians, Virginia Tech Hokies, Wangs
you big, dumb, fucking dog. Thanks for today’s apology.
For your sake and mine, I am glad that you will not be criminally charged for rough-banging that college chick in a dingy bar bathroom. No evidence + you’re a rich celebrity athlete = BIG PHEW! At least for this season (Ed note–Ladies, don’t hate. I need football to live and this is a humor blog).
Don’t tell me what really happened. I don’t know, I don’t want to know, I don’t really care. Shut up. Just shut up.
You and I have already been through a rough patch. Remember that leetle moto accident in ’06, when you were all, “WhatEVA! I’m 24! I’ve won a Super Bowl! I don’t CARE about no stinkin’ helmet! I don’t CARE about my HEAD! I don’t CARE about some goddamn professional football team and our legacy of gritty honor, don’t care about my coveted starting QB position, don’t care about my teammates or the Rooneys, or the hopes and dreams of Diana and her family and all of the wonderful Pittsburgh fans around the world! I’m a big, dumb, fucking dog! I look like a human Clifford! Weeeee! Let’s ride!” And then you broke your stupid face? Yeah, me too. That wasn’t cool.
BUT I FORGAVE YOU. Yes, it took another Super Bowl ring for me to do it, but I still sorta did.
This is different. Dude, you’ve been accused of sexual assault twice in the last year. I realize we’re talking about accusations, not charges, but dude: TWICE. ONE YEAR. Even your derelict former teammates Santonio and Plaxico are thinking, “Damn, homey! Slow down!”
How hard is it to think, Ben? Just think with your seemingly broken brain. Is, say, dinner Continue reading I’m With Terry Bradshaw
Filed under: Ben Roethlisberger, Clifford, College Bars, Dumb Fucking Dog, Fuckups, NFL, Pittsburgh Steelers, Really Dumb People, Road Head, Shame, Shut Up And Play, Terry Bradshaw, The Pittsburgh Steelers, The Steelers, You Offend Me
That’s not actually asking much. Last night, during the NFC Championship shootout/battle royale/best game of the season, it was hard to look at anything else. When Fujita wasn’t putting pressure on Brett Favre, he and Anthony Hargrove were tackling him hard.
Filed under: Amazians, Brett Favre, College Sweethearts, Defense, Defensive Linemen, Focus On America, Football, Gay Rights, Go Saints, Honorasians, Hotties, Linebackers, National Equality March, New Orleans, New Orleans Saints, NFL, NOLA, Professional Athletes, Rad Japanese Dudes, Reprzentasian, Saints, Same-Sex Marriage, Scott Fujita, Sports, Super Bowl Ads, Super Bowl Miami, Super Bowl XLIV, Who Dat?
It was with heavy heart that I state the obvious: Jen’s and my teams are out of the running for this year’s Super Bowl ring (my freakin’ Steelers, defending champions, didn’t even make it to the postseason).
I can’t speak for my illustrious writing partner, but this year I find myself (for the first time in my life) hoping that an NFC team takes home the big prize (Dear lawd, do not let Continue reading Who Dat Rootin’ For Dem Saints?
Filed under: Amazian Jr., Awesome Football Teams, Brad Pitt, Brett Favre, Drew Brees, Maddox Jolie-Pitt, Minnesota Vikings, New Orleans, New Orleans Saints, NFC, NFL, NFL Postseason, Philip Rivers, Playoffs, Punks, Super Bowl, The Cowboys, The Steelers, Who Dat?
You look fuzzin’ AWESOME in pink! Who cares that you were last to the party??
To anyone who also likes what they see: Buy pink NFL gear in support of Breast Cancer Awareness now.
I spent the weekend in the City of Fountains, Kansas City (Missouri, not Kansas), marveling at the waterworks that have been tinted pink for Breast Cancer Awareness Month:
Instead, Kremer wore another aggressive color: bright fucking banana yellow.
Hey, y’all know we love ourselves some yellow (!!!), but this is getting ridiculous.
So wait. Nearly the entire NFL donned fuschia pink this week, in awesome support of Breast Cancer Awareness. Damn cool.
Why , then, did Sunday Night Football’s Andrea Kremer feel the need to answer to pink with powder blue–as in a wacky powder-blue-leather-motorcycle-jacket monstrosity?
Does she have something against boobies? Come on! Breasts are awesome!
Love boobies? Hate cancer? Join Susan G. Komen here for the cure.