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I am a masochist.
For one, I work in television, and a little too much lately at that (hence the recent lack of blogging), which is an industry clearly suffering from a dearth of powerful Asians. In the Golden People’s absence, idiots reign supreme, and proliferate (Remember the idiot assistant of that other ignoramus that couldn’t coordinate your last conference call? He’s now your executive) like zombies.
I also watched last night’s CNN/Tea Party
Debacle Debate, when I clearly should have been watching Miss Philippines get robbed of the Miss Universe crown instead. What can I say? I love watching that she-devil Michele Bachmann’s hair shimmer in the light.
After all, Bachmann certainly made her mark, making sure to answer as few direct questions as possible and assuring that audiences got a real sense of how Rick Perry has violated hordes of little Texan girls with a “dangerous” HPV vaccine. You’ve gotta hand it to Rick “Lovya Dubya” Perry–he may not know his foot from his head, but he sure knows how to get people scratching their heads… which could, amazingly, get him elected.
Fact is, the show was more a display of theatrics than politics, from the gaudy CNN set to Wolf Blitzer’s ridiculous face, to the candidates’ introductions, to the Perry dogpile, to the overuse of “Obamacare” (like one of Pee-Wee’s secret words), to the sports championship tone of the whole bonanza. I found myself watching the mess as a witness, as if all the loons on the stage were talking about some theoretical country instead of the one I live in, dismissing the needs of this country and cheering for the deaths of uninsured sick people as if such people didn’t exist.
Filed under: Brutalizing the National Anthem, CNN, CNN Tea Party Debate, CNN's Desperation Makes Me Sad, Election 2012, Godfather's Pizza, Goobers, Herman Cain, HPV Vaccine, I Love Pizza, Jon Huntsman, Lunatics, Michele Bachmann, Miss Philippines, Miss Universe, Mitt Romney, National Anthem, Newt Gingrich, Obamacare, Politics, Presidential Election 2012, Rick Perry, Rick Santorum, Right Wing Nutjobs, Ron Paul, Theatrics, Wolf Blitzer
Last week on Sean Hannity’s show, Newt Gingrich made an exciting campaign promise:
“I know how to get the whole country to resemble Texas.”
Which is an interesting idea, to say the least. After all, there are lots of things I love that are from Texas:
- Jen’s parents
- Dr. Pepper
- BBQ sauce
- The Black Angels, Spoon, Toadies, Butthole Surfers, Buck Owens
- Frito pie
- The Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders (Why not?)
- The NASA Johnson Space Center
- The “Don’t Mess With Texas” Campaign
But unless we’re talking about a nation made up of millions of chicly-dressed, too-smart blogger friends and their lovely Hardass Asian Parents, swilling Dr. P while dousing Frito pie with kay-so and some BBQ sauce, blasting The Black Angels on eleven, picking up litter, all the while doing high kicks in white short-shorts in celebration of a new NASA mission… I’m not sure I’m ready for a whole country run like The Lone Star state. And I have a feeling that Newt isn’t really promising what I listed (except maybe the short-shorts).
But let us not discount the achievements of Texas. After all, thanks to its stellar governance, Texas has become nationally ranked in multiple areas that concern public life, education, and health.
According to PFAW’s Right Wing Watch blog, Texas ranks:
50th in percentage of population without health insurance (2010)50th in percentage of children insured (2009)50th in percentage of women receiving early prenatal care (2010)45th in rate of infectious diseases (2010)44th in percentage of children in poverty (2010)42nd in per capita health care funding (2010)40th in overall health (2010)36th in high school graduation rate (2010)35th in crime (2010)35th in percentage of children immunized (2010)34th in rate of occupational fatalities (2010)30th in percentage of people with college degree (2008)
Texas also ranks: Continue reading “Don’t Mess With America” Does Roll Off The Tongue
Today marks the 69th anniversary of the attack on Pearl Harbor. And nothing says “honoring the dead” or “remembering the fallen” quite like… “BUY MY CRAPTASTICALLY WRITTEN HISTORICAL NOVELS.”
(And, hey, you can currently buy both of these books at the special discounted price of $10.09 at Newt’s Official Online Store! Take that, Radical Secular-Socialism!)
Filed under: Attack on Pearl Harbor, Conservatards, Days of Infamy, Dicks, Family Values, Fox News, Historical Novels, Newt Gingrich, Newt Gingrich Is a Giant Asshole, Newt Gingrich Pearl Harbor Tweet, Newt Gingrich Twitter, Novelist Newt Gingrich, Offensive Tweets, Pearl Harbor, Radical Secular-Socialism, Remembrances, Shameless Plugs, Twitter
So, here’s the deal. There are these 17 Uighurs (or Uyghurs, pronounced “wee-grr”), right? They’re part of a Muslim minority group who come from the far-western province of Xinjiang, China. And they’ve been detained at Guantanamo for the last 6 years after getting rounded up in Afghanistan and Pakistan. Over the course of that time, it’s been determined that they aren’t enemy combatants–enemies of the U.S. or our allies–nor is there significant evidence demonstrating that they’re any kind of threat, nor do they have ties to al Qaeda. They have been cleared for release and are free to go. But if they return home to China, they’ll likely be tortured and persecuted. Like Tibetans, Uighurs have suffered plenty of human rights-abuses at the hands of the Chinese government but received far less attention for them, probably because they believe in a religion that scares people instead of one that, say, attracts a beautiful Hollywood following. While the 17 Uighurs have petitioned for asylum in the U.S., they’ve been denied twice, most recently by Obama.
Ever the dickish troll, Newt Gingrich has said that the Uighurs are not an “American problem,” despite the fact that they have been unlawfully detained by our government for the last 6 years. So whose problem are they? And uihere in the uiorld uiill the Uighurs go now?