You are currently browsing posts tagged with Never Resisting a Chance to Exploit Yourself As A Stereotype


January 14th, 2010 | 2 comments | Posted by Diana

Happy birthday to William Hung, who turned 27 this week!

Hung like a... Shetland pony?

Though he hasn’t produced a record in years, Hung has somehow hung (ahem) out prominently in our minds–like sticky rice on the back of a wooden spoon–until present. Most Hung-related memories make us want to drag him out from his hole just to slap him silly, just because he so famously embodied for millenials every marshmallow-faced, Engrish-speaking, penis-shrinking stereotype we (like our hero, Bruce Lee) have ever tried to kick to the curb.

So here’s hoping now that Hung’s a little bit older, he’s also a bit wiser (and for all of you quick-draw commenters, I know he’s plenty book smart, but we’re talking wisdom here). Maybe he’ll find a way to channel all of that “attitude and charisma” into something wonderful, like medical school or law school (kidding)! Listen, we’re stoked as long as he’s not making us all look like clowns. Anymore.

[William Hung - Official Site]
[YouTube: William Hung American Idol Audition (VIDEO)]


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Emmy Presentasians

September 16th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Pre-production conversation between producers of the ’59th Emmy Awards’*, Marcus Douchebag** and Martha Whateverbrain**:

MARCUS: Hey Martha. Did you sign off on those shooters?

MARTHA: (Yawns) I donno. I forgot. Can I do it later?

MARCUS: Totally. What time is it?

MARTHA: 9:30am. Wanna go get baked? And then get some Bloody Mary’s?

MARCUS: Totally. Let’s hit the Saddle Ranch!

[They exit, get into Marcus' BMW, and head to the Sunset Blvd. location of the Saddle Ranch. Five hours later, they return.]

MARTHA: I can’t believe you rode that bull!

MARCUS: It was easy. I’ve done it before.

MARTHA: So… we really need to talk some more about how we’re gonna make this show the bestest Emmys ever!

MARCUS: Yeah! It’s our chance to shine! So here’s what I’m thinking. The host– Ryan Seacrest. We’ll set up the audience in a circle around the stage. It’ll be like, you know, circular. It’ll be kind of like that terrible Dane Cook HBO special, but funny! It’ll remind you of everything you love about television, like Who Wants to Be a Millionaire! It’s egalitarian, it’s fresh, it’s new, it’s Emmy!

MARTHA: I’m down!

[They high-five. Martha writes down on a legal pad: "Circle, Seacrest, Millionaire."

MARCUS: I guess we're done working for the day.

[They leave. Later that evening, Marcus receives a frantic cell phone call from Martha.]

MARTHA: Dude! We totally forgot about how our product integration segment. We haven’t talked about how to approach that.

MARCUS: Right – we need to talk about the digital age. We still haven’t figured out who’s going to present the award for Creative Achievement in Interactive Television. Should we get, y’know, Andy Samberg or some other TV star–whose career has really been brought to life by Interactive television– broadcast himself on a YouTube style screen for the introduction? That would be edgy and fresh.

MARTHA: I like it… but I don’t love it. I feel like there’s something a little less… obvious. A little more… au courant.

MARCUS: Like what?

MARTHA: Oh! Oh! I’ve got it! Why don’t we get that funny Asian dude who’s always talking funny and pumping his fist in the air and talking about technology on Heroes to present it!

MARCUS: And he can sit behind a geeky computer! And he can wear glasses! And he can talk like a techno robot! Haha ha ha ha ha! Ohmygod I’m like, crying. This is so fucking funny.

MARTHA: What does he really have to do with Interactive Television, though, really? Does he know how to use a computer?

MARCUS: Who cares?

MARTHA: Totally.

MARCUS: Get Masi Oka on the phone! He’s comedy gold!

Photo Source: WireImage

* = Not the actual producers
** = Not actual names (obviously)

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