You are currently browsing posts tagged with Neil Peart

The Kids Aren’t Alright

December 19th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Why is some asshole young’un always stealing my gosh-darned thunder?

First it was that little tramp* that beat me to the punch on a landmark Jewsian Bat Mitzvah–complete with glorious photos and full NYT coverage.


Now, it’s some little brat* that’s trying to beat me out on my dream of making my mark as the second coming of Neil Peart.

Um, trying…rather, er, successfully.

*Not actually a tramp. Actually the most adorable little Jewess you ever did see.
*Not actually a brat. Actually a total freakin’ genius and my hero.

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ROCK OF ASIAN: Help Me Buy Diana’s Birthday Present (Shhhhh!)

August 27th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

In the nine months since Rock Band’s been released, a few drum pedals have kicked the (bass) bucket in my house. Two, to be exact. The first one split neatly in half, and the second, which I borrowed (okay, stole), physically held together but stop registering midway through the first Doolittle jam sesh I had over here. Diana was, of course, present both times, and she was not only banging the drums on the second occasion, she also managed to finish the song we were playing without the use of the kick drum somehow.

The thing about Diana is, that’s how she (drum) rolls. She’s so Asian and, thus, so allergic to failure, that she won’t let a cheap plastic drum pedal breaking breaka her stride. She’s also still in her 20′s, in that sweet spot o’ life where failure is not an option. And I’d like her to stay there for as long as possible. Purely out of self-interest, because there’s no way we’re gonna achieve world dominasian if we’re both old, bitter, and depressed. Her birthday’s in a little over a month, and this here is the perfect youth serum:


It’s the ION Drum Rocker Premium Drum Set. It costs $300. Look how it dwarfs the piece-of-shit Rock Band kit (on the right) that comes with the game. I mean, duuude. It’s awesomely big. It comes with cymbals. And Engadget describes the kick drum pedal as “beefy.” Sweet.

Help Diana realize her lifelong dream of being the second-coming of Neil Peart. Help her stay young, bright, and failure-averse. Help me minimize my shrink bills and fork over the cash, people. Cuz money talks and bullshit plays a broke-ass drum pedal.

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Thanks, Jasmine!

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ROCK OF PERC-ASIAN

April 2nd, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Oh yeah, man… I’ll admit that I’m a big fan of drummer jokes. Don’t tell me you aren’t. A selection of my faves:

How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?
Dude, aren’t there machines that do that now?

and…

What do you call a drummer that just broke up with his girlfriend?
Homeless.

or…

What do you call a guy that hangs out with musicians all day?
A drummer.

and of course…

What’s the last thing a drummer says in a band?
“Hey guys, why don’t we try one of my songs?

HEE!
HA!
HO!

But okay guys. Let’s reel the yuks in. I also know to give drummers their due respeck, and not just friends (Hi, Ryland! Hey, Matt!) that might be reading this, or rockin’ dudes like Neil Peart or Jon Bonham or Dave Grohl or Andy Sturmer or Rick Allen (hi!).

Oh, and this guy from K-land, who–between his technique and tux–is basically now my favorite. Drummer. Ever.


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Thanks, Pete!

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Amazian Watch: The Guitar Heroine

April 5th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Xbox recently announced that they will be hosting a Guitar Hero II JamFest, in which KISS frontman Gene Simmons will face off with five of the top Guitar Hero II™ gamers in the country.

I won’t even get into how shocked and appalled I am that Jen and I were not invited to participate in this tournament of champions (my only theories being that they can’t handle seeing two bitches crank out 99% apiece on “The Beast and the Harlot”–or that someone, somewhere, has heard us talking shit about the “Strutter,” the boring-ass KISS hit that the winner is going to have to play on Co-Op mode w/ Simmons if they win…zzzZZZzZzZzz).

Instead, let me point your attention to one of the five competitors to keep your eye on in this showdown of showdowns:

Yeah! She’s a total nerd–and not one of those D&D losers, but a scarf-knitting, tech-geeking, Guitar Hero-rocking nerd. She frickin’ rocks!

…and now, meet one of her four challengers.

Ew. What a tool. This mofo needs to be taken out.

Needless to say, WE’RE BEHIND YOU, KELLY! TAKE IT HOME PLAYIN’ YYZ!! WE WISH YOU MUCH STAR POWER!!!

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