You are currently browsing posts tagged with Negative Attacks

Zaxy Buildup and Vanessa Hudgens

March 31st, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

So Zac Efron gets photographed during the UK premiere of 17 Again with gross, waxy buildup in his ear, and as a result, is pelted with Q-tips during his next LA outing. Kind of hilarious!

But here’s what sucks. The person that suffered the brunt of the Q-tip attack was none other than Efron’s lady, Vanessa Hudgens…

Come Over Ear!

…which I think is just plain unfair. Why, you ask? Yes, Vanessa is Zac’s lady, and therefore mildly responsible for him looking relatively cleaned up when he walks out the door. You could almost argue that she should’ve busted his ass on that wax right out of the shower on premiere day.

Except: we ladies can help you fellas buy jeans that don’t look like they were obtained at a 1992 Gap. We can help you pick out shirts for work. We can give you cologne for Christmas, introduce you to Kiehl’s men’s products, request that you shower regularly, and quickly size you up before you walk out the door.

But we can’t be responsible for your waxy-ass ears. Boys, that was yo’ mama’s job. And if you’re old enough to screw/drink/smoke, now it’s yours.


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Hardass Asian Candidate

February 25th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Further proof that Hillary Clinton is a closeted Asian came Saturday in Ohio, when Hills busted out the “S” word during a rally in Cincinnati:

Dayum! Watching that gave me flashbacks to my Hardass Asian Mom after she read negative attacks of herself in my diary, circa 7th grade. Her wrath scared me so straight, I whaled on the PSATs, held down first chair oboe all year, and started pretending that I wanted to be an astronaut when I grew up.

For anyone out there doubting Hillary’s ability to lead, rest assured. She’ll be great at providing healthcare, because there will be no such thing as “sick,”; making education affordable, because we’ll only be permitted to spend our allowances on tuition at a 1st tier college; and pushing this country to be Number One again, because she’ll need something to brag about at Chinese choir-practice.

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