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How Much Did NBC Pay Kosuke Kitajima To Troll The US Olympic Trials?

June 29th, 2012 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Reigning breaststroke gold medalist Kosuke Kitajima of Japan showed up at the U.S. Olympic Trials this week, presumably because he’s training in the US and wants to scout his rivals. But this is how I’m picturing things really went down:

Bob Costas appears at Kosuke Kitajima’s pad, dressed as a tiny valet-slash-baby penguin. He’s holding an overstuffed envelope of cash, a list of instructions and a hat box. Inside the hat box is a trucker cap–yes, a trucker cap–bedazzled with a number “1″ in gold sequins.

Yes, gold.

Yes, sequins.

The instructions, which Costas goes over with Kitajima in flawless Japanese, are as follows:

  1. Show up at the 100 M Breaststroke Final wearing the hat.
  2. Keep the hat on at all times.
  3. Sit in the nosebleed seats like you’re just there to chill with your bros. (Hence the trucker cap.)
  4. Clap at the appropriate times. If you’re confused as to what constitutes “appropriate” Continue reading How Much Did NBC Pay Kosuke Kitajima To Troll The US Olympic Trials?

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Ann Curry Missed Out On The Time Of My Life

July 20th, 2011 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

…when she said no to a Dirty Dancing lift by our boyfriend, the Goz. Like, WHAT? WHY? And with those hawt pink come-hither heels on? Surely she didn’t MEAN to refuse. But she did. Maybe the temptation was too much. I know if I was in hawt pink come-hither heels with Ryan Gosling asking to lift me into the air–like Baby who nobody puts in a corner OMG OMG this is the stuff of my teenage DREAMS–I too would be scared of an overexcitement pee or embarrassing squeal. But not too scared to say YES.

Anyway, who took up the slack? Al Roker. Seriously.

Oh, I would give anything to be Al Roker!!! And wow, did I really just write that? Is this what the Goz DOES to me?!?!?!?!? Weird. Whatever. I love it.

[via Jezebel]

Thanks, Tina!

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BABEWATCH: The Biggest Loser Finalist Ada Wong

December 14th, 2010 | 4 comments | Posted by Diana

Name: Ada Wong

Age: 27

Occupation: Tech Project Coordinator

Hails from: Bay Area

Why She’s A Babe: Wong is one of four contestants seeking the ultimate prize in The Biggest Loser finale tonight, and although her scores don’t have her sitting safe on top, the love of viewers may garner her a spot on the winners’ podium. But going the distance in this big competition isn’t all that makes her babealicious–nor her pretty face, which you see in the photo above.

Wong is by far one of the most fascinating, enduring, and–by all TV evidence–legit women ever to face an NBC reality gauntlet. Amidst her quest for lasting and meaningful weight loss, viewers have been treated to a strong work ethic, gentle heart, and something else we aren’t quite used to: honesty.  Few people would be willing to access their most vulnerable spots–a lifelong weight struggle, the tragic childhood death of a brother, the burden of her parents’ blame for the loss, her father’s emotional deafness–in front of an often-cruel, millions-large American audience. But she did, and those of us Continue reading BABEWATCH: The Biggest Loser Finalist Ada Wong

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February 25th, 2010 | 2 comments | Posted by Diana

Happy birthday to comedian Aziz Ansari, who turned 27 this week! This guy’s got everything: he’s cute and hilarious, stars on a network comedy and currently has a sweet development deal with Judd Apatow. He’s become a cult hero and rolled large with Jay-Z. He’s been on Letterman, for chrissake. All by the tender age of 27.

So much already achieved! Yet so much life ahead of him!

Eh. I’m too jealous now. F*ck Ansari!

[Read Aziz's Tumblr]


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Mobilizasian: We’re With Coco!

January 21st, 2010 | 4 comments | Posted by Diana

We’ll have to assume that you’re at least vaguely aware of the hurly-burly surrounding the time slot conflict between Jay Leno and Conan O’Brien.

Nope? Have you been living under a rock? An Internet rock?

Anyway. Here’s the lowdown, in 2 minutes of rad Taiwanese animation (this neat little segment was originally produced for something called Apple Action News, shown here with the English translation):

They nailed one thing–everyone quickly jumped on the O’Brien bandwagon (Jen and I cheered watching Jimmy Kimmel tear Leno apart on his own show last week). Not just because Leno is criminally unfunny, not just because–though he’s getting a slow start on The Tonight Show–O’Brien is a beloved underdog. The whole idea of takebacks is totally DICK–it ain’t cool on the playground, it ain’t cool on TV.

And check it out: Asians are totally rallying for Team CoCo! Heck, we knew Intern Jasmine on board, but it’s inspiring to see that our friend Phil at Angry Asian Man has gotten, well, pretty angry about the topic. He spoke out about it, joined by cutie-utie-utie pie actors Karin Anna Cheung and Eddie Kim, as well as… RUFIO! Peep the video:

Continue reading Mobilizasian: We’re With Coco!

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Thank You, Andrea Kremer. From Our Boobs.

October 26th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Kremer Thinking Pink

You look fuzzin’ AWESOME in pink! Who cares that you were last to the party??

To anyone who also likes what they see: Buy pink NFL gear in support of Breast Cancer Awareness now.

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NBC’s "More Colorful," Except When It Comes To People

September 21st, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

In the last week, you may have noticed that NBC’s launched a new marketing slogan in its promos: “More Colorful.”

NBC Entertainment marketing president Adam Stotsky told Variety that “color is what we strive to do in our programming” and the slogan signifies “innovative programming” (like the unabashedly hacky Jay Leno Show, for example).

We think has a better take on NBC’s new tagline, however:

Meanwhile, if you still care, the fourth season of Heroes premieres tonight. Now there’s an NBC show with more colorful people!

Or, uh, more corolfur, as it were.

[ NBC (Unintentinally) Brings Back the Funny with their New Marketing Slogan]
[Entertainment Weekly: Diversity in Entertainment: Why Is TV So White?]


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Kaling-y Chicks

May 6th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Intern Jasmine frequently reminds us here at DISGRASIAN HQ that writer/actress Mindy Kaling is a comedic fuckin’ genius. That’s all well and good–Asians love a genius!

But it was only today, after reading about Kaling’s freshly inked overall deal with NBC, via the Peacock and Universal Media Studios (Asians especially love a successful genius), that we realized just how much we have in common with the funnywoman.

Kaling spilled the details of her mission to Variety, saying:

“This is my first step in a Transformers-style way to take over the whole world.”

WORLD DOMINASIAN? Now that’s something we understand. Jasmine’s right: Mindy Kaling, you are most definitely our kind of woman.

[Variety: Mindy Kaling Cues NBC Deal]


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Meet the Latest Most Loathsome Person on Reality Television

December 16th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Meet Hockey Mom Khalood Bojanowski, aka “Mrs. B,” an unabashedly racist reality TV contestant on the Ryan Seacrest-produced Momma’s Boys, an NBC show premiering tonight that has 32 women vying for the approval of 3 bachelors and their mothers:

Watch Mrs. B fuh-reak when she spies her son JoJo playing a different kind of hockey with a black contestant here. It’s some gnarly Oedipal shit, and makes you wonder why she doesn’t just fuck her son and get it over with already.

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You Didn’t Break Any World Records, Loser

August 19th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

I can’t say I’m a big fan of the individual microphones that NBC has clipped onto certain notables in the Olympic crowds of Beijing–Michael Phelps’s mom, Nastia Liukin’s friends, whoever–ya just never know what you’re going to hear. Maybe it’s your average cheering (which is so awkward to listen to without the context of the rest of the crowd), or else it’s personal chatter/words of disappointment/performance criticisms/judge slander that you were never meant to hear anyway. Whatever the audio, it all makes me feel like a totally creepy voyeur. (And listen, I am a creepy voyeur–as any neighbor couples that have ever had sex near a thinly-veiled window will likely attest to–but I really, really hate feeling like one.)

Last night, while watching the women’s pole vault competition, I roused myself from near-Sleepyland just in time to witness American rookie Jenn Stuczynski’s final sky-high bounces. The girl has only even been doing the sport for four years (??) (!!), and kapowed her first Olympic games with an astounding silver medal finish. It should be noted that she came in second just to the very cocky, very gifted reigning double world, triple European, and defending Olympic champion Yelena Isinbayeva, who proceeded to break her own world record a centimeter after claiming the gold.

Beating her would’ve been quite a longshot, and a silver medal for a relative novice is fucking amazing, right? Not according to Stucynski’s coach, Rick Suhr, who congratulated the medalist with this charming, slit-your-wrist pep talk while mic’d up for NBC viewers:

Jesus H., where did Suhr go to school, the New York Academy of Hardass Asian Coaching? Both of my parents were really taken aback by the coach’s unexpected caustic attack, at least that’s what they told me on the phone this morning when we talked about the clip.**

**My dad–who made the same face as Suhr (see left) when he realized I’d achieved second chair violin in honor orchestra instead of first, later clarified that he was mostly taken aback by the fact that any Hardass muthafucka would be egotistical and stupid enough to allow themselves to be mic’d on national television, while berating their prodigy.


I’m pretty sure my parents think that Stuczynski is a total loser.


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August 12th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Name: Xue Chen

Hails from: Fujian, China

Occupation: Olympic beach volleyball player

Why She’s a Babe: Although we don’t count ourselves as beach volleyball fans, NBC has been shoving it down our throats, so if we have to watch it all day long, we’d prefer to look at Xue Chen. Like most women in her profession, the 19 year-old has a sick, sick body. She’s lean, muscular, over 6 feet tall, and has a perfect ass. We also love that she’s really tan in a society that generally prizes light skin (because it’s a class indicator), yet she’s still regarded as a beauty. In fact, Xue’s nickname is the “Ice Beauty,” which leads us to believe that she’s something of a bitch, and guess what? We are, too, and bitches gotta stick together.

Thanks, Henri!

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