DISGRASIAN™

DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Joe Wilson

Joe Wilson has already apologized to President Obama for breaking decorum and shouting “You Lie!” at Obama during his Wednesday night speech to Congress on the subject of Healthcare Reform.

From HuffPo:

“Not long after the speech ended, Wilson issued an apology. ‘This evening I let my emotions get the best of me when listening to the President’s remarks regarding the coverage of illegal immigrants in the health care bill,’ he said. ‘While I disagree with the President’s statement, my comments were inappropriate and regrettable. I extend sincere apologies to the President for this lack of civility.’ Wilson also called the White House to apologize.”

He may have said the words, but it sure is hard to believe that Wilson is actually, truly, really, really sorry for the inappropriate outburst, an action that has been condemned from both sides of the aisle as shameful, disrespectful and embarassing.

So what was the tipping point leading to Wilson’s swift “sorry?” Did he refer immediately to his Blackberry and realize that #JoeWilsonIsADouche had instantly become a trending topic on Twitter? Did his wife text him: “WTF, U IDIOT!?” Did he realize that he was single-handedly about to crash his own government site with an ugly media frenzy?

Something tells us it was actually much simpler, a gut reaction to the most powerful and classic of sorrymaking machines: the cold, hard faces of two Hardass Asian Parents (as played, in this instance, by Joe Biden and Nancy Pelosi).

Peep Mom and Dad the moment they hear Wilson’s outburst from the floor. Pelosi’s jaw hits the floor and her eyes become nuclear daggers. Biden drops his head and shakes it with disgust and shame, the kind of shake a dad can only achieve when he wishes you didn’t exist. EVER.

I’ve seen my parents do this A THOUSAND TIMES. It never fails.

The one thing I’ve learned–A Hardass Asian Parent can’t kill you with their eyes, but they’ll sure as hell try. And instead, they’ll just make you really fucking sorry.

[HuffPo: Joe Wilson Apologizes For Shouting "You Lie!" At Obama]

Filed under: "You Liar", Congress, Disrespeck, Douchebags, Embarrassing, Healthcare Reform, Joe Wilson, Lack of Decorum, Nancy Pelosi, President Barack Obama, Shameful Behavior, Twitter

Another Reason to Be a Democrat? We Dress Better.

As if you needed another reason to vote Democratic in November, here’s one more: we dress better. The first night of the DNC may have been a snooze, but its speakers’ sartorial choices made up for that somewhat, with the exception of Nancy Pelosi’s mandarin-collared, Diane Keaton-esque, creepy power suit.

Barack Obama’s sister, Maya Soetoro-Ng, rocked a wide, lipstick-red belt that was more Sex and the City than Capital City, Caroline Kennedy introduced her uncle Ted in a black cocktail number with a fashion-forward, asymmetrically jeweled neckline, and Michelle Obama, who closed out the night, eschewed the colors political wives tend to favor–red, blue, icky pastels–for a bold turquoise. Plus, the dress made her butt look hot.

Yeah, yeah, we know. We’re superficial. But the thing is, why shouldn’t women in politics be chic? Do people really take them more seriously when they borrow only from the extremely limited tricolor palette of the American flag? Or when they wear “feminine” colors that are better suited for baby nurseries? Or when they get psychotically matchy-matchy, with the headband that matches the suit that matches the nails that matches the lipstick? Do really accomplished women with Ph.D.’s (like Soetoro-Ng) or J.D.’s (like Kennedy and Obama) need to dress down like sexless matriarchs in the pantsuit version of Garanimals in order to gain public acceptance? To prove that they can lead? (Hear that, HRC?)

If Monday night was any indicator, the answer is “no.” Thank heavens! Now that’s what we call change we can believe in.

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Filed under: Caroline Kennedy, Dressing Down, Fashism, Garanimals, Matchy-Matchy Nightmares, Maya Soetoro-Ng, Michelle Obama, Nancy Pelosi, Pantsuits, Political Fashion, Power Suits

If Tyra Is Michelle Obama, Then…

In the current issue of Harper’s Bazaar, there’s a full fashion editorial featuring Tyra Banks as Michelle Obama. You know, because they have so much in common. Like, they’re black. They’re both on TV a lot. And they’re both…um…let’s see…Michelle went to Princeton and Harvard Law School, while Tyra went to…Columbus University in the movie Higher Learning…and…uh…

Anyway, the preposterousness aside of, say, Tyra in a Harvard sweatshirt reading in bed while holding a pencil to her chin, arrested by her own profound thoughts, the concept is pretty clever, don’t you think? Let’s take a look at other powerful female political figures and their model doppelgangers:

1. Cindy McCain/Helmut Newton Icon Nadja Auermann

Common traits: Blond, icy-looking, vaguely dominatrix-y

2. Condoleezza Rice/18 Year-Old Rising Star Chanel Iman

3. Ruth Bader Ginsburg/Indie Darling Irina Lazareanu

4. Nancy Pelosi/Last of the Supers Christy Turlington

5. Hillary Clinton/Jessica “Marc Jacobs Named a Bag after Me” Stam

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Filed under: Barack Obama, Cindy McCain, Condoleezza Rice, Doppelgangers, Hillary Clinton, I Still Love Hillary, Michelle Obama, Models, Nancy Pelosi, Tyra Banks