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Intern Jasmine’s Links Of The Daysian

January 12th, 2011 | 5 comments | Posted by jasmine




I see London! I see France! I see Olivia Munn’s vajayjay on the cover of Maxim magazine! [FOX 411]

DISGRASIANtern Jasmine’s No. 1 celebrity beau, Harry Shum, Jr., knows how to handle his light saber. [Ross Ching]

YouTube makeup diva GlowPinkStah’s Black Swan makeup tutorial is hilarious, and less likely than the film to give you nightmares full of intense red eyes. [YouTube]

Stick a fork in it – even Tila Tequila‘s given up on MySpace. [Boing Boing]

Don’t have a boyfriend? Never had a boyfriend? Luan Legacy wants you to calm the eff down already: “It’s like getting your period! It happens at different times! For different people!” [YouTube via YOMYOMF]

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Sandra Bullock’s Famous Last Words

March 26th, 2010 | 6 comments | Posted by Jen

The NY Post reports that two months before her own husband was exposed as a cheater, Sandra Bullock had this to say about the whole Tiger Woods situation:

“If I were [Tiger's wife] Elin [Nordegren], man, I would have hit a lot more than she did,” Bullock said. “I would have kept hitting.”

A reporter with syndicated TV show “The Insider” egged on the actress with a leading question — “You would have been still swinging the golf club?”

“Yeah, she [Elin] stopped, she was respectable,” Bullock repied. “I’d get the baseball bat, I’d get everything out.”

Does this mean Sandy’s going to beat the shit out of her no-good, MySpace-ing, Vanilla Gorilla couchfucker? We wouldn’t pay money to see the The Blind Side–or almost any Sandra Bullock movie, really–but we’d sure as hell pay to see that.

[NY Post: Sandra Bullock would have used bat on Tiger]

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ROCK OF ASIAN: Dan the Automator

September 10th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana


Dan the Automator is, simply put, a total hero and and a hot mofo. He’s a sculptor of beats, a master of kitsch, a conceptual mastermind, and… a foodie. He takes pictures of yummy eats and puts them on MySpace–doesn’t that make him a man after our own hearts?

We’ve loved Automator for so long, we don’t know why he doesn’t hang out at our house and drink scotch with us while we download new songs for Rock Band on Xbox Live. Until then, we’ll have to make do with next week’s release of his latest and greatest, the soundtrack to Xbox’s NBA 2k spot, which features the likes of Mos Def, E-40, Ghost Face, A Tribe Called Quest, Lupe Fiasco, et al. After all, basketball and hot beats go together like Ramma Lamma Lamma Lamma… (you know the rest).

Or, he could just come over and hang out with us. Just putting it out there.

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ROCK OF ASIAN: Polysics

November 7th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Meet Polysics, Japan’s answer to Devo. This new wave pop outfit is fast and furious, and lead singer Hiroyuki Hayashi is a mad man. Check out their half-animated, half-seizure-inducing video “Electric Surfin’ Go Go”:


Want more Polysics? GOOD NEWS. They’re playing for the next month in a city near you as part of the MySpace Music Tour, their biggest ever in the U.S. In terms of energy and spirit, there’s apparently no other show like it.

Click here for dates and tickets. Click here for the band’s official website. Don’t forget to put on your pogo shoes before you press play.

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MySpace: A Place for Frauds

September 4th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Last week, our MySpace account was hacked into and subsequently shut down. For those of you who communicate with us through MySpace (and a special shout-out goes to our favorite MySpace homey Akira), please go to DISGRASIAN Nation on facebook or drop us an email until we hunt down the person who did this. And we will.

Meanwhile, the a-holes over at MySpace offered us these condolences:

Inconvenience?!? Giving me one more reason to despise Ugly and his mail-order bride wife, the Dungster.

“Who Us? We don’t give a shit.”

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The Rupervert

June 25th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Entertainment and media’s hottest couple made headlines this morning.

“We know. We rule.”

No, not BrangeliZzzZzzz. These guys…

“I’m with Ugly.”

The LA Times reports that people are all in a tizzy over Rupervert’s proposed $5 billion takeover of Dow Jones & Co., who own the Wall Street Journal.

Critics cite as the latest example of those dangers Murdoch’s little-noticed introduction in China of his red-hot MySpace Internet property.

Launched in April, MySpace China censors user comments on the social-networking site more than is necessary, analysts say…

(Murdoch’s) Chinese-born wife, Wendi Deng Murdoch, a former executive at one of News Corp.’s Asian operations, recently was named the venture’s strategy chief, her first executive role since marrying the mogul in 1999.

I’m sure Wendi has, um, “earned” her role in the company–know what I’m sprayin’?–and we’ve certainly censored comments on DISGRASIAN’s MySpace page, especially from tools like this:

not a fake

But isn’t there a reason it’s called, er…MY…space?

Click here for full story.

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Before Entering, Make Sure to Lube Up and Relax

April 27th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

AP reports [with some Disgrasian edits]:

“News Corp.’s popular social networking site MySpace launched a test version of its new China service on Friday, making a late entry into the intensely competitive Chinese Internet market in a desperate attempt to merge the biggest money making racket/alterna-rock-softcore-porn site in cyberspace with the China aka $$$ aka Overpopulation-Exploitasian heaven.

“The strategy of having a Chinese company operate the service follows the approach of Yahoo Inc. (Nasdaq:YHOO – news), eBay Inc. and other Internet competitors that have turned to local partners to run their China operations after struggling to win market share.”

“News Corp. Chairman Rupert Murdoch said in September the company was looking for a way to enter China without dealing with the political red tape and bureaucracy that “normal” aka “poor” people have to deal with running into political obstacles and “heavy weather” faced by Google and Yahoo.

Murdoch said his Chinese-born wife, Wendi Deng, was playing a key role in helping to launch the China-based service.

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Respeck!

March 23rd, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

MySpace “star” Tila Tequila (aka Tila Nguyen) shares some words of inspiration to her loving fans via a video blog entitled:

TILA TEQUILA-WORDS OF INSPIRATION-KEEPIN IT REAL.

She speaks out on HATERS–most notably, that there are ‘lotta haters out there, and fuck ‘em!

It was, as she describes, hard for a girl like her growing up–she was an ostracized Asian midget in Houston, Texas. The pint-sized (4’11″) pop dwarf was just trying to make it in modeling and music in a town that totally rejected her:

“…I was the first Asian girl, and you know, being in America and everything, you know, the Asian community has not, was not very popular, and I had a lot of obstacles to overcome.”

They said she looked like an Alien. They told her she was meant for porn (I mean…). They said she was too short to model (But she is, right? Not for Gymboree I suppose, but definitely for Prada). They hated on her, dude! But duuuuude, I’m SO NOT HATIN’ RIGHT NOW.

Apparently the only way for a smart, sassified Asian woman with a message to make it out of Houston is to keep it real (dye your hair blonde), bust your ass (and adorn it with many varieties of thong underwear) and work hard (at being photographed from behind). Jen, can you speak to this with any kind of authority?

The words of inspiration go on. Did the hatin’ stop her? Hell naw. She kept on keepin’ on, followin’ her dreams, doin’ her thing.

I actually once had the incredible misfortune of unexpectedly and unwittingly witnessing Ms. Tequila’s “thing” live at the House of Blues–an electric mess of hot pants, shrill “punk” hollers, audience interaction, and flat pseudo-rapping.

I’M NOT HATIN’!

In fact, from this point on, there will be nothing but love. I shall only point out the positive. NO HATIN’ WHATSOEVER. Do you hear that, Tila?

Take her video for Electric Bon Bon, for instance! First off, there are lots of colors. It’s very “Crayola Chic.” Her gyrating is so good that it almost makes me forget to mention how cool it is that the song doesn’t really need a melody. Also, SHE’S IN A FREAKING MUSIC VIDEO! How many people can say that? Livin’ the dream!


Here, Tila is bathing–in a bathing suit! She’s in the tub, but she’s clothed, sorta! It’s not logically baffling, it’s CLEVER, tasteful, and most of all, CLEAN.


This rules. Tila looks totally smart, like all other Nguyens. A+.


Did Tila, perchance, remember to Windex that pole before rubbing her Tila Titticacas all over them? Hey, that’s just me being hygienically inquisitive. More importantly: Really happy smile. Really happy.


Is this strange little garden area in that guy BoBo’s back yard in the valley? That isn’t really positivity or haterating or whatever. Something about it just totally made “818″ pop into my head. I have no idea why. Anyway…


I truly admire Tila’s commitment to promoting safe sex, and she is an inspiration and role model to young blonde girls everywhere.


Somewhere, right now, a patriotic yellow-feverish pedophile just wet himself.


This photo tacitly describes in no uncertain terms Tila’s very essence, as poetically as her words of inspration: Fuck ‘em, Y’all! FO REAL!

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