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Intern Jasmine’s Links of the Daysian
MTV’s SuChin Pak has opened a hip new flea market on New York City’s Lower East Side. [New York Times]
David Eng plagiarized other critics’ reviews for his own movie blog. FOR FOUR FREAKIN’ YEARS. [Cinematical]
While Paul the octopus has picked Germany to win the World Cup, Mani the parrot begs to differ. [New York Times]
John Chu and Harry “DISGRASIANtern Jasmine’s secret boyfriend” Shum’s The LXD, a web series about a group of superheroes called The League of Extraordinary Dancers, premiered this week. [Hulu]
In case you missed it, the New York Times ran a nice profile of Justin Bieber backup singers (and previous Rock of Asian honorees) Legaci, written by friend-of-DISGRASIAN™ Josh Kun. [New York Times]
Filed under: David Eng, Harry Shum, Hester Street Fair, John Chu, Josh Kun, League of Extraordinary Dancers, Legaci, LXD, Mani the parrot, MTV, Paul the octopus, Plagiarism Ain't Asian, Rock of Asian, SuChin Pak, World Cup predictions
Intern Jasmine’s Links Of The Daysian
Let's play "Find The Asian Dude!"
Breaking news! Kate Gosselin is lonely. Maybe Mady should break out the world’s smallest violin. [TMZ]
In the southern Philippines, a reporter was shot to death while buying cigarettes this past Saturday. He was killed less than a week after two radio journalists were also killed. [New York Times]
Sad Keanu now has its own charitable URL shortener: http://kea.nu. [Mashable]
There’s a Facebook group to get an Asian male cast on MTV’s “The Real World”. Which, okay, I can see why you’d want to get an Asian dude on that show as there has never been an Asian dude on that show. It seems like the only place for Asian dudes on MTV right now is competing on “America’s Best Dance Crew”. [Facebook] (Thanks, Stuart!)
Filed under: enough with the Kate Gosselin already, free speech is endangered in the Philippines, MTV, Sad Keanu, The Real World
An Internal Conver$ation
Ke$hia at the MTV VMAJ Awards in Tokyo, May 29
KE$HA: Domo arigato, Mr. Tokyo! I love you all!!!
KE$HA’S HEADDRESS: Horrible. Just horrible. Please, let’s just go inside.
KE$HA: They love me! They love the $tatement I’m making!
KE$HA’s HEADDRESS: And what statement is that?
KE$HA: That Lady GaGa isn’t the only knockoff that can make it big this year.
KE$HA’S HEADDRESS: That’s it?
KE$HA: And my generation really does have new and innovative art to offer!
KE$HA’S HEADDRESS: Like what?
KE$HA: Durrr. Like 80′s jeans and hippie dresses and disco indie rock.
KE$HA’S HEADDRESS: AH.
Continue reading An Internal Conver$ation
Filed under: $hut Thi$ Chick'$ Face Up, Annoying People, Bad Singers, Death to Hipsters, Headdresses, Hip$ters, Hipsters, Hipsters are Hateful, Irony is for Hipsters, Japan, Ke$ha, Ke$ha Headdress, Kesha, MTV, MTV Video Awards, MTV Video Awards Japan, MTV Video Music Awards, MTV VMAJ, People That Should Not Be $uccessful In The Music Industry, People who replace the "S" in their names with $, Tokyo, Weird Popstar Behavior
We Waited For Alexa Chung To Go “Off The Air”
Brit “It” Fashionista Alexa Chung will host the final episode of her MTV talk show, “On the Air With Alexa Chung,” tomorrow.
Alexa, say goodbye to the intellectual giants of MTVs core audience
And we suppose we’re sad about that, for her, because we love this saucy little broad.
Continue reading We Waited For Alexa Chung To Go “Off The Air”
Filed under: Alexa Chung, Brit Girls, Cancel, Cancellasians, Cultural Lows, Fashionistas, Jersey Shore Is A Cultural Low, Lo Bosworth, MTV, MTV Is For The Birds (And Weak-Spirited Girls), On the Air With Alexa Chung, On The Air With Alexa Chung Canceled, On The Air With Alexa Chung Cancelled, The Hills, The Hills Is A Cultural Low, The Situation
Call Her "Geisha-ca" Simpson
Jessica Simpson went to Tokyo this month to film scenes for her MTV reality show on beauty and body-image, where she roamed the streets in racial drag as a geisha:
Incidentally, during her stay, a 6.6 earthquake hit near Tokyo, and Jessica tweeted about it. (If you Google “6.6 earthquake,” the first entry you get is “Jessica Simpson tweets about 6.6 earthquake while in Japan.”)
So, let’s see…Jessica Simpson visits Tokyo as a geisha, then a 6.6 earthquake hits. Hmm…
Cause-Effect?
[via BuzzFeed]
Filed under: 6.6 Earthquake Japan, Bad Fuck Charms, Cause-Effect Relationships, Jessica Simpson, Jessica Simpson Geisha, Jinxes, MTV, Price of Beauty Show, Racial Drag, Tokyo, White Geishas
The Definition of Bad Timing
Quest CrewOn the same day that TMZ posted a photo taken of Rihanna’s battered face after she was allegedly assaulted by Chris Brown, MTV’s America’s Best Dance Crew aired their “Battle of the Sexes” episode, wherein the four remaining teams competed, two all-male and two all-female. In what can only be described as exquisitely poor timing (not to mention taste), the all-male Quest Crew was assigned to dance to Chris Brown’s “Forever,” while the all-female Fly Khicks crew was asked to perform a routine to Rihanna’s “Pon de Replay.” I physically cringed when one of the members of Quest Crew (whom I adore)–in reference to Chris Brown’s MJ-esque footwork–said, quite innocently, “No one does it like Chris Brown.”
You can say that again.
WTF, MTV???
Watch the full episode here.
Filed under: America's Best Dance Crew, Bad Timing, Battered Women, Chris Brown, Dancing Around the Topic, Domestic Abuse, Domestic Violence, Fly Khicks, MTV, Quest Crew, Rihanna, Sensitivity Training, WTF?
Are They Not Men?
Anyone that spends enough time with me knows that most of my best friends are dudes that are kind of chick-like. They look male, they smell male… but they’ll, y’know, bitch me out about not being sensitive to their needs. And they cry listening to “Here” by Pavement. And they spoil me with sushi dinners just to have enough time to wax poetic about the complicated structure of relationships.
I love a guy that’s basically a girl, because guys are awesome and look great in soft, old t-shirts (girls do too, but unless they’re Jen, they’ll never let you borrow their soft, old t-shirt if it looks good on you), and they don’t care if you weigh less than them, and they listen without grunting when you’re three O Bans in and shedding tears about how you feel inadequate, maybe because it’s a full moon or you’re hormonal or something.
So yes, it’s a little funny that I tend to poke at Paris Hilton’s little bitch Onch, just because he’s a delicate, rainbow-colored flower with a fascination for useless famous-for-nothings, and cuz he totally looks like a lady. So when Intern Jasmine sent over photos of the little lad-lass at Hilton’s Christmas party…
…and mused, “Wait – Onch is a dude?” and I responded, “Barely,” I started to check myself. What is my real problem with Onch, anyway? Is it because he’s Asian, and because I’m so desperate to have rock-hard reprzentatives that I can’t deal with an Asian that’s also a bit of a femme fatale?
After, all MTV News has begun releasing their top ten picks for Man of the Year, and already included in that tier are the self-anointed queenish king of guyliner, Pete Wentz, and one very dainty, cherub-faced Jonas brother, Nick Jonas.
I mean shoot, if this is what sets the bar for manhood in the new millenium, Onch is like the new Gerard Butler, and I’m just an outdated old fart. Right?
Maybe I’m wrong about Onch. Maybe.
Source Source Source Source Source Source
Filed under: Dude Looks Like a Lady, Gaysians, Guyliner, Jonas Brothers, MTV, Nick Jonas, Not Sure About This, ONCH, Paris Hilton's My New BFF, Pete Wentz, Reprzentasian
Oh No Choodi’int!
Part of the reason I haven’t been able to bring myself to watch MTV’s latest idiotic reality show, Paris Hilton’s My New BFF–in which wannabe starfuckers vy for the slot as Paris’s main hanger-on–is that I can’t bear the thought of anybody, however tarderriffic they may be anyway, groveling at the feet of Paris Hilton.
Worse, I hate the thought of an Asian (especially a gaysian!) on his knees in front of that walking syphilis host!
Paris’s BFF Hopeful ONCH, rocking prayer hands the way they were never meant to be rocked
Filed under: Bad ideas, Celebutards, Disgaysian Behavior, Groveling, Kneeling, MTV, ONCH, Paris Hilton Should Expire, Paris Hilton's My New BFF, Pathetic Showings, Prayer Hands, Reality TV
Off Her Record
Britney Spears, under the lock-down advisory of her beloved pops, has essentially cleaned up her act. There have been no cracked-out visits accompanied by the paparazzi to her local Jack-in-the-Box, no eruptions of violence on any automobiles, no party-kill moments of rejection at the entrance of the Four Seasons, no head shavings, no marriages, no divorces, no pregnancies. All in all, this is a very good time for the former pop princess. Relatively speaking.
She remains, however, a kind of tragic mystery. We love that she’s shaping up and getting her life together and recording music and all of that stuff, but do we expect a grand comeback? Not really. The real question is: Does she? Does she?
You’ve really gotta wonder why she even wants the spotlight anywhere near her overexposed puss at this point–though fame hath giveth her so much, it clearly taketh so much more away. And it shows. Among the cameras ever at Brit’s side for the last few months has been an MTV documentary lens, collecting intimate footage of the troubled celebrity through the process of stacking her life back together. The project, currently titled For the Record, seems a half-hearted attempt for her to set the record straight, and prove to the world that she’s not really as fragmented, sad, poorly-raised, and uncouth as she might seem. (Remember how well that worked the first time?)
It’s too hard to tell at this point exactly what proof is in the poorly-shot pudding. But we’ll see.
At the close of Record‘s trailer, Britney says: ” I sit there and I’ll look back and I’m like: I’m a smart person. What the hell was I thinking?”
Thing is, if she was actually a smart person, she would have stopped talking to cameras by now.
Source Source Source Source Source Source Source Source
Filed under: Britney Spears Should Retire, Celebrity Whores, Chaotic, Comebacks, Documentaries, For the Record, Give It Up, MTV, Not Smart People, Sad, Setting the Record Straight, Shaping Up, Tragic Mysteries
Another Round for Tila Tequila?
Tila Tequila told a group of paps outside of L.A. club Coco de Ville this week that she and girlfriend of two months, Courtenay Semel, are over. Tila went on to say that “many numerous” (aka “a bunch of a lot of”) sources had informed her that Courtenay has a wonk wall crossed wandering eye.
Which means Tila is probably nursing a broken heart (she’s human, right?). But how is she dealing with the break-up, we wonder? Is she…
Weeping on the couch in old, tangy-smelling sweats, popping Dibs, and watching Lifetime movies starring Jenna Elfman?Renewing her gym membership to work on her core?
Taking up crochet? Listening to the Judds’ Greatest Hits? Becoming a vegan?
Reconsidering her decision not to host the third season of
A Shot at Love?
Hmm. Our guess is…
Crochet. Definitely crochet. We imagine she could knit a lean, mean thongkini if she really set her mind to it. And she always did seem like an arts-and-craftsy kinda gal, don’t you think?
Filed under: A Shot At Love Season 3, Breakups, Courtenay Semel, Crochet, Crossed Eyes, Fake Relationships, Girlfriends, MTV, Publicity Stunts, Tila Nguyen, Tila Tequila, Wall Eyes, Wonk Eyes
Consumer Reportsian: Guitar Hero: Aerosmith
I’ll always have a soft spot for Aerosmith, though they might be the hackiest band of all time (which may explain why they are most successful American band of all time, too). They will forever remind me of the summer of 1993: living in the City for the first time, lying in my subletted bedroom with the wall-unit air conditioner blasting and the lights off in the middle of the day to stay cool, subsisting on pasta, butter, and ice cream, feeling insignificant, sticky, and broke at every turn but still bursting with big plans.
As I’ve mentioned before, I was interning for MTV then and working on an Aerosmith “rockumentary” (their term, not mine). I was fully immersed at the time in grunge and indie rock, and all I listened to was Nirvana, Pavement, Gram Parsons, and the Pixies, who had broken up earlier that year, which, of course, made them that much cooler. Aerosmith had just released Get a Grip, which debuted at number one and sold a gajillion copies, but they were deeply uncool. My job transcribing the alien language of a perpetually-shirtless Steven Tallarico and the marble-mouthed mumbling of a sometimes-shirtless Joe Perry, therefore, was also deeply uncool. But I worked at MTV, I was in New York City, and I lived downtown, so I didn’t care.
Over time, I became quite adept at deciphering the nonsensical ramblings of Steven Tyler, and I even developed a dorky crush on Joe Perry. I would come home from logging tapes in a closet for 8 hours and recount to my boyfriend all the things Joe Perry had said that day (one random quote that I remember: “You’ve gotta carry a guitar in one hand and a briefcase in the other”), so much so that my boyfriend got a little jealous and wondered aloud if he needed to hit the gym to acquire Perry-like pecs. By the end of the summer, I actually–all indie-cred out of the window–bought a copy of Get a Grip and listened to it from time to time with no small amount of pleasure.
My sentimental fondness for the band notwithstanding, I have to say that Guitar Hero: Aerosmith, which Activision unveiled last Friday and will be released in June, is a bad idea. If the Aerosmith songs on Guitar Heroes II and III are any indication of what’s to come, GH: Aerosmith will suck rocks. Both “Last Child” and “Same Old Song and Dance” are too easy, repetitive and hokey, like Blues-For-White-Folk 101. I would venture to say that “Same Old Song and Dance” is amelodic. There have been hints that the Aerosmith game will allow drumming and singing, a plus I suppose for the people out there who like to sing with their shirts off and tie scarves around their mic stands, but if the Aerosmith song “Train Kept A’ Rollin’” on Rock Band is any indication, adding drums and vocals won’t make the experience that much better.
Why so buttoned-up, boys?
My quibbles with this version of Guitar Hero notwithstanding, I’ll still go out and buy the game, and Diana and I probably play it ’til we wear it out. Because I’m a sucker like that. And maybe because I’ve still got a little crush on Joe Perry.
Filed under: Aerosmith, Dorky Crushes, Guitar Hero: Aerosmith, MTV, Rockumentaries, Sentimentality, Soft Spots
Another Shot
One of the folks over at Oh No They Didn’t discovered this casting notice in her box today…
Another season of A Shot At Love With Tila Tequila is coming???
Oh, Tila. You and your homisogynasian pals over at MTV are going to keep DISGRASIAN in business!
We’ll be waiting.
Source
This is the casting couch Source, but if you apply, Jen and I will hunt you down and flog you.
Filed under: A Shot At Love, Casting Couches, Celebrity Whores, Don't Fall For This Shit, Here We Go Again, Homisogynasian, MTV, Reality Television Scrapes the Bottom of the Barrel, Tila Tequila
