You are currently browsing posts tagged with Mr. Chow

Intern Jasmine’s Links Of The Daysian

January 6th, 2012 | 0 comments | Posted by jasmine

If this is what it is like to work for the legendary restauranteur Mr. Chow, sign me up for Camp Chow. [Nowness]

All the way with George Takei! Our favorite Star Trek cast member (original flava, of course) is going to be on the next season of “Celebrity Apprentice.” [Crushable]

This produce packs a punch! Manny “Pac-Man” Pacquiao now has his own line of vegetables called, fittingly, Pacquiao Produce. [YouTube]

Congratulations, Matthew Fox! You’re the latest White dude to save Japan on the big screen. We’ll be sending you a floral arrangement in the shape of Tom Cruise’s character from The Last Samurai. [Movieline]

The Japanese National Tourism Organization really wanted to fly 10,000 folks to Japan for free, but, alas, they cannot. [The Savvy Stews]

Our dreams of being Twitter besties with the one and only Wendi “Mrs. Rupert Murdoch” Deng have been dashed. The Twitter account @wendi_deng, which took Twitter by storm a few days ago was run by an imposter.[Gawker]

TWIN BABY POLAR BEARS!!! [The Awl]

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Bad Timing Is a Bitch

October 6th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

During this horrible economic crisis, deemed our “economic Pearl Harbor” by Warren Buffett, when the Dow drops 700 points in a day and dips below 10,000 for the first time in 4 years, and people are worried about their jobs and their retirements, what we really need in this country is…a bailout plan? Job creation? Change?

No, silly. We need more FABULOSITY. Which explains why E! chose to premiere Kimora Lee Simmons’s E! True Hollywood Story Friday, chock full of sage wisdom for these hard-scrabble times:

“I am probably the queen of opulence. I love my jewelry. I love my diamonds. I love my shoes. I have diamond shoes. Some people might prefer more demure look. I like it all out screaming. I don’t care.” – Kimora Lee Simmons

“In high school she had a Gucci bag or Louis Vuitton bag. We didn’t even know what that was.” – Shani Johnson, childhood friend

“She calls me as soon as Ming came out. I showed up at the hospital and I walk in and Kimora is ordering like gourmet food from Mr. Chows – still freshly had the baby like 10, 15 minutes ago and is ordering high end $500 Chinese food, and I put my order in too.” – Tyra Banks

Don’t despair if you missed the first showing. E! is running Kimora’s THS all this week. Crisis? What crisis?!

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Catching Some Raysian

June 27th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana
Rumored lovebirds Keanu Reeves and Karate Lady in St. Tropez

KEANU: So then you shake it. Shake-shake it. Shake it. Shake it.

KARATE LADY: Like this?

KEANU: Shake it like a polaroid picture!!

KARATE LADY: Where did you say you learned this again?

KEANU: Ibiza. No, on the set of Matrix: Reloaded.

KARATE LADY: I liked that film.

KEANU: Nobody liked that film, China.

KARATE LADY: I think your accountant did.

KEANU: You’re goddamned right he did.

KARATE LADY: I can’t believe I’m dating Keanu Reeves.

KEANU: Yeah you are! Did Marky Mark ever have pecs like these?

KARATE LADY: Well, I mean, he had pecs. What happened to you?

KEANU: What do you mean?

KARATE LADY: I mean…

KEANU: I’ll tell you what I mean: you’re so beautiful, of course I’ll go out with you. Look at you. You look like a little china doll, China.

KARATE LADY: Actually, powder pecs, if we’re assessing porcelain skin and bones, you’re the china doll here. I look tall and tan and young and lovely.

KEANU: (confused) That’s cool.

KARATE LADY: (confused) Okay.

KEANU: So when do we get to go eat together at Mr. Chow? I love his noodles.

KARATE LADY: Uh yeah, me too.

KEANU: Do you think I should call him “Dad?” or “Mr. Chow?” or “Mr. Dad?”

KARATE LADY: Um, I think I’d prefer a salad at La Scala.

KEANU: Always?

KARATE LADY: Yes, always.

KEANU: Hunh. Okay. Wanna learn a different dance?

KARATE LADY: Sure… (sighs) Are you going to be filming a new Matrix sequel anytime soon?

KEANU: I dunno… Why is everybody always asking me that?

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Thanks, Jasmine!

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When Worlds Collide: Fauxbulosity

December 7th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

David “Mr.” Chow, Kimora Lee Simmons, and Eva Chow at Art Basel Miami


KIMORA: I love being here at Art Basel Miami with my fabulousest Asian peeps!

MR. CHOW: The secret to being famous is being photographed outside of my restaurant. I’ve launched the careers of Mick Jagger, David Bowie, and Nicole Richie.

KIMORA: I have no idea what an art fair from Switzerland has to do with partying in Miami, but it is fabulicious!

MR. CHOW: I’ve just come to terms with the fact that I’m a tastemaker. For example, did I start this glasses thing or did Philip Johnson? I think we all know the answer to that.

KIMORA: Who’s Philip Johnson? Is he fabulopoulopolis?

MR. CHOW: He’s dead. But I can’t help thinking that if he had only been photographed outside Mr. Chow more, things might have turned out differently for him.

EVA: Some people say I’m a dead ringer for Marilyn Manson.

KIMORA: Marilyn is NOT fabulala. Not since he dumped Dita. Who is fabuburlesqueitude in a martini glass.

MR. CHOW: Marilyn Manson would be a household name if he was photographed outside of my restaurant.

EVA: I mean, the whole thing’s preposterous. I don’t just wear one blue contact. Morticia Adams maybe, but Marilyn? No.

KIMORA: What would not be fabulisimmo is if I look fat in this picture. Lemme use one of my old modeling tricks and kick out my leg like so. Okay! Take the picture…and make us all look fabunarcissisissitical or I will kill you.

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From Our Mailbox

October 16th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana


Dear Jen and Diana,

I know in the past you’ve dabbled with hating on me, and I don’t blame you. It’s easy to lump me in with this generasian of useless, overexposed, young celebutards.

I want you to know that I’m making efforts to get on your A-list. Not sure if you noticed, but I don’t date that douchebag Joel Madden, anymore, and I try really hard not to eat at Koi and Mr. Chow.

I know it’s a long process. But in the meantime, please accept this photo of me with my new look–I have aspirasians to look Asian. Whaddya think?

I hope we can be friends, even though I am a teenage pop star with large teeth.

x’s, o’s, and smiley faces,
Hil

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Celebutard Deteriorasian

June 4th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

For those Angelenos (like Jen and myself), whose dining options have oft been crippled by the embarassing, obnoxious calamity at restaurants shamefully deemed “Celebrity Hotspots,” I am denouncing one paparazzi-smeared institution in particular: MR. CHOW.

TMZ documented the entries and exits of a pocketful of DISGRASIAN Hall-of-Famers (that means you, Chris Tucker)–just this weekend alone–in a flashbulb-filled piece called Chow Hounds. The eatery, however, has already been sufficiently defamed by enough Paris Hilton, Jessica Simpson, and Britney Spears presence in recent years to officially classify it as a full-time fish market.

“Mr.” Michael Chow– is this really the dining legacy you intended? I just lost my appetite.

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The Insanity Barometer

April 7th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

There are certain restaurants in L.A. that exist solely to supply the tabloids with pictures of famous people. Mr. Chow in Bev Hills is a prime example, which does nothing to explain why you’d show up there in grandma’s old house dress, a bra that was discounted by 90 percent at Macy’s, jingly bracelets bought in Cancun during a Sex On the Beach-induced psychosis, a gnarly weave, and a crazy face:


Insanity barometer, goin’ up!

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