You are currently browsing posts tagged with Morons

DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Elisabeth Hasselbeck (Needs A Punt to the Hasselcrack)

December 5th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana


Elisabeth Hasselbeck,

As much as your existence drains and sickens me, I often don’t have time to deal with you. What on earth would I do that for? I don’t like The View. I don’t like your face. I don’t enjoy wasting my Thanksgiving, totally bored, watching your brother-in-law’s loser football team choke like boring chickens under the Cowboys. Ultimately, talking to the poster child for starry-eyed, jingoist Conservatives is one pointless thing, dealing with your brand of pouty, petulant, nasal-voiced, ill-informed, ignorant mommies quite another–but both? At the same time? Hell no. Please do not sign me up for that futile afternoon activity.

So, not to put too much effort into thinking about you today, but it occurs to me after watching you slur your way through an insult of Deepak Chopra this week (video above)–flippantly telling him to “go light a bowl of insense”–that I actually do have something to say to you, after all.

GO FUCK YOURSELF. HARD. IN THE ANUS.

That is all.

Source
Source

Filed under: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

When Morons Who Have No Business Being in Leadership Positions Collide

September 26th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Governor Palin stages a totally meaningless photo-op/converses with an intellectual equal, finally/takes the first baby step toward being able to find Pakistan on a map meets with Pakistan Prez Asif Ali Zardari on Wednesday

ZARDARI: You are more gorgeous* than everyone has been saying. Not at all like a porn star.

PALIN: Thank you so much! Now, um, may I ask you, are you also a mother? I have five children. One of them is special-needs. Well, um, okay, two.

ZARDARI: Now I know why the hole of America is crazy about you.*

PALIN: In what respect,* President, um, (looks furtively at notes written in ballpoint ink on her right palm) Zar-dar-ee? Is that how ya say it?

ZARDARI: Did I say “hole”? I meant, “whole.” Oh, homonyms!

PALIN: You know, I’m glad you mentioned that. Because it is my understanding* that homonyms can be converted back to, um, um…normal people.

ZARDARI: The photographer is now insisting that we shake hands for the photo. If he’s insisting, I might hump, er, hug.** You. (clears throat) Hug you. I might hug you.

PALIN: Where is Pakistan exactly? Can I see it from my house*?

ZARDARI: (sexy, come-on voice) Why do you ask? Is it the mustache? Hubba-hubba.

PALIN: Thank you, sir, for meeting me today. I feel like I have a much better understanding of Pakis after this.

ZARDARI: And I of Alaskanis!

*these lines were pulled from actual interviews

**the real line was: “If he’s insisting, I might hug”

Source
Thanks, Mohammad!

Filed under: , , , , , , , , , ,

Late Registrasian

July 2nd, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana


PerezHilton.com just reported that Heidi Montag, who will turn 22 this year, joined her douchebag boyfriend Spencer Pratt at the DMV… and finally registered to vote! Wow! We’re so impressed we could justzzZZZzZzZzzzz…

zzzZzzZZzzurpOH! Um. Good… job? Sure, you should have done this four years ago, but who’s counting?

Source

Filed under: , , , , , , , , , ,