You are currently browsing posts tagged with Monday Night Football

Blame Polamalu?

November 8th, 2010 | 4 comments | Posted by Diana

By the grace of the football gods, my Steelers are currently 5-2 and holding strong in the AFC North –despite kicking off the season with four games sans their starting quarterback/resident douchebag. Last week was particularly painful–the boys (with douchebag) lost a great contest after a gritty fight with the awesome and beloved NOLA Saints.

As usual, I grumbled at the idiot calling plays and getting sacked on the field. Always the Hardass Asian Steelerfan: “Roethlisberger, you tool, move that ball! Why can’t you be more like Drew Brees? Look at your brothers Hines Ward and Mewelde Moore Troy Polamalu and James Farrior. They work so much harder than you. So much smarter!”

I was ultimately surprised to read that safety Troy “ol’ reliable” Polamalu placed the blame for the Saints loss squarely on his own broad, Samoan-American shoulders. To the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review, he said:

“I think there are times in games where there were a lot of opportunities to make plays, and I didn’t make them,” he told the Tribune-Review. “It doesn’t have anything to do with anything physical with me, and maybe I’m second-guessing myself a little too much. But, other than that, we’re 5-2.”

Teammate Ryan Clark told the newspaper that Polamalu felt that he let the team down, which makes sense considering Polamalu’s addiction to perfection (the only addiction that is, by the way, so fucking ASIAN). But is my favorite safety really to blame for a loss against the NFL’s defending champions? Nah!

Still, I doubt anyone could convince Polamalu he’s wrong unless they’re married to him. I wouldn’t try. So my suggestion for redemption is simple: perfectly pound the Bengals tonight on Monday Night Football. Nothing says “I won’t fail again” like kicking kitty ass and taking names.

[Pittsburgh Tribune-Revie: Troy Polamalu - I Need To Play Harder]

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Monday Night Football Shame

September 23rd, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana


Yes, the signs are glittery. But they really do miss the point, don’t they?

Thanks, Maris!

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SPORTS ILLUSTRASIAN: The Stream-of-Consciousness Edition

October 11th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Okay. Let’s start with playoff baseball. The first round resulted in 3 sweeps, one 4-game division series. Here I am at Game 3 Angels vs. Red Sox looking like a total bitch (on national television!), but really I was jittery and nervous, even though the Sox were up by 6 runs at that point. We went on to sweep the Angels that day. Phew…After flaming out with the New Yawk Mets, Kaz “The Other Less Famous” Matsui has found new life with the Colorado Rockies. Must be that mountain air or getting as far the fuck away from Alyssa Milano as possible. Matsui hit his first career grand slam in game 2 against the Phillies. Congratulasians, Kaz! The Rockies have moved on to the NLCS against ArizzZzzzzona. Still, I couldn’t care less about the National League…One of the weirdest things happened during the 8th inning in game 2 between Cleveland and New York that I’ve ever seen in baseball. A biblical swarm of flies descended on Cleveland’s Jacobs Field, clustering around the pitcher’s mound. Joba the Hut Chamberlain, who was brought in to relieve Pettitte after a spectacular outing, pitched a phenomenal 7th but lost his shit in the 8th because he was literally covered in flies (midges, to be exact). He walked Grady Sizemore to start out the inning, while the Yanks were up 1-0, and Sizemore would eventually tie the game on a wild pitch from Joba. The Indians went on to win 2-1 in the 11th. Guess God wasn’t listening that night to the fat fuck…Things that make me sad–that Marion Jones used steroids (I know, I know, it was obvious) and that Joe Torre may be fired as the Yankees manager…As a Cowboys fan groomed in the 80′s, I’m not getting my panties in a bunch about their 5-0 record. SportsCenter reported that the last time the Cowboys started 5-0 was in 1983. Know what happened that year? Nu-thing. The Raiders were still in LA and they won the Super Bowl. Dallas’ Monday Night game against Buffalo was like watching escaped asylum patients play some demented version of football. Tony Roma had 4 INTs in the first half, 5 in all and 1 fumble. He doesn’t earn the name “Romo” until he proves he’s more than just a likable guy with a pretty good arm…Venus Williams won the Korean Open a few weeks ago, which means she got to be…a Racial Drag Queen for a day! She’s a good sport to accept this trophy in traditional Korean garb, but I wouldn’t say she’s rockin’ the hanbok.

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