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BABEWATCH: Christina, American Apparel Model

May 4th, 2010 | 15 comments | Posted by Diana

I know very little about Christina, a new American Apparel model that seems to be the only one using her eyes and angles (rather than her nipples) to sell the company’s body-conscious cotton. I don’t even know for sure if she’s Asian, or part Asian, but golly I hope so because…

I. AM. IN. LOVE. WITH. HER.

And come to think of it, I need a denim pencil skirt.

[American Apparel: Models Gallery - Christina]

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BIRTHDAY CELEBRASIAN! Chanel Iman

December 3rd, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Happy birthday to Chanel Iman, whose lanky limbs and luscious lips turned the ripe old age of 20 on Monday!

chanel2

And since we’ve endured enough Blasian falsehoods for the week, let us celebrate one Blasian truth: this little lady is only going to get better and better and better with age. Y’all know it’s true.

[Chanel Iman on MySpace]

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DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Rosemary Port and the Internet’s Anonymous

August 28th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana


By now you’ve probably heard the story: Former model Liskula Cohen, 37, subpoenas Google in January, in pursuit of a defamation suit “concerning her appearance, hygiene and sexual conduct” against the anonymous author of a Blogspot site called “Skanks in NYC.” The blog features only five posts with photographs, all devoted to calling Cohen a “skank,” “hag” and “ho.” Cohen ultimately wins in court, and Google is forced to fork over the IP address and email of the anonymous blogger, identified as Cohen’s acquaintance, Rosemary Port. A media frenzy ensues.

Port: Still hiding?

Satisfied by knowing Port’s identity, Cohen decides to drop the defamation lawsuit, even calling to forgive her. Port, on the other hand, blames Cohen for the Streisand Effect on the issue, and prepares her own $15 million suit against Google for invading her privacy.

Dizzying, isn’t it? And fascinating. Even though we live on and in it, sometimes it’s easy to forget that the Interwebz is still a rather young entity, and we’re only just starting to understand the power–both positive and negative–of this vast, largely anonymous space.

Inevitably, people have landed on both sides of this matter. And though a court did side with Cohen when she initially pressed Google, we’re likely see the saga shift legal momentum with respect to Port’s suit (perhaps “all the way to the Supreme Court”), for months.

The Web being a maze of aliases, handles, social identities and passwords, it’s only natural for us to revel in the freedom of its virtual invisibility cloak. After all, stalking an ex quietly on Facebook is much easier than hunting the fucker down at his neighborhood haunts. Pay-as-you-go online porn is effortless compared to walking behind the partition at a dingy, outdated video store. Discussion boards for personal problems are sometimes more accessible and helpful than group therapy. Who would sniff their nose at a buffer for the stuff we’re not so proud of?

But anonymous Internet flaming, which we see so often on blogs, YouTube, social networks and message boards, is the e-quivalent of pulling a shirt over your head, running over to somebody, kicking them in the mouth, yelling, “You’re a fat asshole, you fucking fat asshole!” and then taking off down the street. Afterwards, one person’s still bleeding, and their attacker–a total chickenshit–has already moved on.

Or, as Maureen Dowd cited in NYT’s Opinion section:

“The velocity and volume on the Web are so great that nothing is forgotten and nothing is remembered,” says Leon Wieseltier, the literary editor of The New Republic. “The Internet is like closing time at a blue-collar bar in Boston. Everyone’s drunk and ugly and they’re going to pass out in a few minutes.”

It’s simply impossible to respect this brand of cowardice, at least for us. Recently, some anonymous shitbag lamely slammed DISGRASIAN for being “BOOORRINNG” on The Roast List. Every comment posted in reply was also anonymous (save for a dude named “RelentlessX”, who’s probably either a huge fan of Avril Lavigne and the Pussycat Dolls, or this guy). To be honest, it’s hard to dignify criticism from phantoms: Er… um… we guess we’re sorry we don’t impress a bunch of dickless, spineless, St. Martin’s Guide-less, anonymous pussies. Perhaps they’re just not our demo? Our demo probably gets laid more.

We at DISGRASIAN don’t have a legal position (Sorry Mom, still not going to law school!) on Port’s anonymous mudslinging, but we do have an opinion. And we’re posting it here:

Rosemary Port’s worst anonymous words may have been: “How old is this skank? 40 something? She’s a psychotic, lying, whoring, still going to clubs at her age, skank.” Not only is her prose a hot mess, but she didn’t have the nards to stand behind them. We couldn’t care less that a model loves snorting crack while wearing uncooked bacon and at the center of a bukkake circle (Don’t they all? Hee!), if the person telling us can’t stand up while saying so.

That’s an opinion, like it or not. We’re not only willing to state it, but sign our names behind it.

Mine is Diana Nguyen.

[Times UK: Unmasked Blogger Rosemary Port to Sue Google for $15m]

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BIRTHDAY CELEBRASIAN! Devon Aoki

August 13th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana


Happy birthday to Devon Aoki, who turned 27 earlier this week! May you continue to be of unique beauty and luxurious pedigree for years to come–and here’s hoping you avoid any disastrous family bouts or catastrophic fashion moments in the meantime.

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@MileyCyrus Should Stop Tweeting

April 1st, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana
“FEEEED ME!

Miley Cyrus took her fat face and creepy model boyfriend to Koi last night for some mediocre pseudo-sushi, apparently keeping her Blackberry close all night to Twitter constantly for her fans.

From Gossip Girls:

During the meal, Miss Cyrus let all of her Twitter fans know exactly how she was feeling, tweeting, “Eating sushi! Omgosh California Rolls are from heaven!!! Praise GOD!”

Now, that’s a tweet that we–had we been following the tween on Twitter–would have had to respectfully disagreet with via replytweet @mileycyrus (sorry, this is confusing for me twoo, I mean twoot, I mean–). Here’s the deal: California rolls are baaaarely sushi, and–as I learned from Jen after she did months of research with a multitude of our fine city’s famed sushi chefs– borne from Los Angeles and not “heaven.”

Miss Miley followed up her food epiphony with another insider nugget of info:

“My waiter at Koi looks like dude from HGTV! Is it weird if I ask for an autograph?”

UH.

Maybe we would just…say something

@mileycyrus you aren’t talking about vern yip, are you?

@mileycyrus http://tinyurl.com/bleepox123


@mileycyrus surely yer not just saying that cuz he’s azn!!!

@mileycyrus maybe he’z not asian, maybe just has a goofy face

@mileycyrus oh u must mean the other dude on hgtv, eric stromer? hot! http://tinyurl.com/blargh345


@mileycyrus totally ask him for his autograph!

@mileycyrus u can make your face look thinner if u tilt it slightly

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Is This Beckham-oning to Me?

February 17th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Hey Jen,

You know I think Victoria Beckham is a useless, scary, skeletal, creepy robot.

So why are these pieces from her new collection speaking to me?

Have I lost my mind? Is there a brain virus eating my rational thought? Is the world coming to an end? Has a zombie invaded my soul?

Or is that hot bitch in heels like, SO GORGE that she can just make a potato sack/paper bag/Beckham design look fierce? And if that’s the case, I’m totally normal and just love myself a hot bitch, right?

Rowr

Please toss out a theory. I’m frightened. So frightened.

Thanks!

xoxo
Diana

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Aoki Doki

December 12th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

GIRL! You are RIGHT. The time is now…

…for a facial. And a nap. And some Gatorade. Hydrate that face, lady!

(Guys, I know she’s raising awareness for charity. I’m mean. But also, I consider it rather charitable that I’m telling the poor girl she looks like balls, instead of just thinking it silently in the corner. I see something wrong and I DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.)

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BABEWATCH: Freida Pinto

November 11th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen
Freida Pinto as Latika in Danny Boyle’s Slumdog Millionaire

Name: Freida Pinto

Age: 24

Hails from: Mumbai

Occupation: Actor

Why She’s a Babe: The Mumbai-born former model is definitely one of those girls whose beauty flummoxes you. It makes you gasp and stammer and shriek to the gods, “Why does she get to be so pretty?!” It makes you red-faced and flushed and a little wobbly on your feet, as though you’ve been drinking. Freida debuts as an actor in Danny Boyle’s Slumdog Millionaire, in the role of Latika, love interest to Jamal Malik, a Mumbai slum kid who winds up on the Indian version of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?. There’s already major Oscar buzz surrounding the film, which opens in select cities tomorrow, but even if the movie sucked (which it won’t), we’d be content getting wasted on Freida’s lovely visage for two hours anyway.

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PSAsian

October 27th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

After watching enough seasons of America’s Next Top Model, I know one thing for sure: models can’t fuckin’ read aloud! This is why they cry, sweat, chainsmoke, and vomit before they do a commercial challenge, because they know that few models were meant to speak. I’m still waiting for the day when one of the aspiring contestants gives up the soundbite: “I’m skinny and pretty, can you believe they want me to walk and talk, too?” or “They never make them say anything on Project Runway!”

So I guess we should be giving professional model Chanel Iman credit for getting through the copy for her OnexOne.org PSA with a relative few stumbles.

But when talking about the lives of impoverished children, a glassy-eyed read and a closing wink seems a little…glib, doesn’t it?

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But What’s Her Take On the Bailout?

October 21st, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Of COURSE I think that the very suggestion of “Paris for President” (as opposed to really delightful ideas/jokes, like Murs para Presidente or McCain 4 Prez) is abominable. It’s not even funny. NOT EVEN FUNNY.


That is, unless nummy model William Chan (see above, right) actually would be one of Paris’s Secret Service men. In which case, she could very well have my vote.

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Naomi Campbell Throws a Blasian Party, and We’re Not Invited

September 19th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

On Wednesday, during London Fashism Week, Naomi Campbell put on a Fashion for Relief charity runway show featuring her hot Blasian model friends, Chanel Iman (who is a quarter-Korean) and Tyson Beckford (who is a quarter-Chinese):



And we were curiously left off the guest list. Hmm. Maybe we should be nicer to our favorite phone-thrower-nista?

Yeah, riiiiiiiiiiight.

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If Tyra Is Michelle Obama, Then…

August 6th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen


In the current issue of Harper’s Bazaar, there’s a full fashion editorial featuring Tyra Banks as Michelle Obama. You know, because they have so much in common. Like, they’re black. They’re both on TV a lot. And they’re both…um…let’s see…Michelle went to Princeton and Harvard Law School, while Tyra went to…Columbus University in the movie Higher Learning…and…uh…

Anyway, the preposterousness aside of, say, Tyra in a Harvard sweatshirt reading in bed while holding a pencil to her chin, arrested by her own profound thoughts, the concept is pretty clever, don’t you think? Let’s take a look at other powerful female political figures and their model doppelgangers:

1. Cindy McCain/Helmut Newton Icon Nadja Auermann


Common traits: Blond, icy-looking, vaguely dominatrix-y

2. Condoleezza Rice/18 Year-Old Rising Star Chanel Iman

Common traits: Chanel is one-quarter Korean and blowing up in the biz, while Condi makes it her business to keep North Korea from blowing up the world; unusual first names that begin with “C”

3. Ruth Bader Ginsburg/Indie Darling Irina Lazareanu

Common traits: Lazareanu makes a living because of her bangs, Ginsburg bangs a gavel for a living

4. Nancy Pelosi/Last of the Supers Christy Turlington

Common traits: High cheekbones, dazzling white smiles, being the best in the business (and, frankly, knowing it)

5. Hillary Clinton/Jessica “Marc Jacobs Named a Bag after Me” Stam

Common traits: Being a bit dough-faced, sad-eyed, and like yesterday’s news

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