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Apolo Anton Oh-face
I realize this ad featuring AOTW Apolo Ohno is supposed to be selling you on that nighttime, sniffling, sneezing, coughing, aching, stuffy head, fever, so you can rest medicine-induced sleep coma Nyquil is so famous for…
But all I see is a serious case of O-Face. You know what I’m talkin’ about…Oh!
Filed under: "O" Faces, 2010 Winter Olympics, Advertising, Amazians, Apolo Anton Ohno, Apolo Ohno, Apolo Ohno Nyquil Ad, Mixed People, O-Face, Office Space, Unfortunate Ads, Vancouver Olympics, Vancouver Winter Olympics
SPORTS ILLUSTRASIAN: Tiger Woods To Issue A Public Apology
After expressing regret for his “transgressions” in a written statement in December but maintaining that “(p)ersonal sins should not require press releases and problems within a family shouldn’t have to mean public confessions,” Tiger Woods is set to eat his words on Friday, when he plans to issue a public apology in front of a small group of friends, colleagues, and reporters in Florida.
Which is nothing short of historic. I mean, have you ever heard of a professional athlete apologizing for being a dog and having sex with women other than his wife? (Somewhere, Michael Jordan is laughing his ass off at a blackjack table.) Isn’t that the sort of behavior we’ve come to expect from athletes like Tiger, the sort of behavior that, in fact, we not-so-secretly relish about them, that they aren’t physically bound by the same laws that we civilians are, both on the playing field and in their pants? (Somewhere, Wilt Chamberlain, layer of 20,000 women, is rolling over in his grave.)
Let’s think about this for a second.
Continue reading SPORTS ILLUSTRASIAN: Tiger Woods To Issue A Public Apology
Filed under: Caublinasians, Contrition, Elin Nordegren, Golf, Mixed People, PR Moves, Sexting, Tiger Woods, Tiger Woods Public Apology, Tiger Woods Sex Scandal, Tiger Woods to Apologize, Who Knew Golf Could Get You Laid?
Hailey Glassman Talks Jon Gosselin’s Magic Weiner
Jon Gosselin’s ex, Hailey Glassman, is on the cover of Steppin’ Out–”NY & NJ’s #1 Entertainment Magazine,” apparently–and blabbing about how the father of eight’s magic weiner is “tiny, tiny, tiny.”
“Judge This Haters”? WHERE. TO. BEGIN.
And you know what’s not tiny? The yeast infection I’m getting looking at those cheap hooker panties.
If you’ll excuse me…
[via HuffPo]
[Steppin' Out magazine]
Filed under: Cocks, Dicks, Hailey Glassman, Hooker Bitches, Jon and Kate Plus 8, Jon Gosselin, Jon Gosselin Dick, Kiss-And-Tell, Magic Weiners, Mixed People, That's What You Get For Going Out With Hookers, Tiny Penises, Yuck
BABEWATCH: Lucia Micarelli Of HBO’s Treme
Name: Lucia Micarelli
Hails from: NYC
Ethnicity: Korean and Italian
Occupation: Classically-trained violinist and cast member of HBO’s Treme
The Wire’s David Simon has a new show debuting in April. It’s set in post-Katrina New Orleans and follows the lives of a group of musicians and other locals. The lovely Lucia Micarelli, who’s toured with Every-Hardass-Asian-Mom’s-Musical-Crush Josh Groban, will play “Annie,” a street musician (see below).
Continue reading BABEWATCH: Lucia Micarelli Of HBO’s Treme
Filed under: Classical Musicians, Classical Training, Hardass Asian Parents' Wet Dreams, HBO, HBO Treme, Hot Asian Ladies, Josh Groban, Lucia Micarelli, Mixed People, New Orleans, NOLA, The Wire, Violinists
BIRTHDAY CELEBRASIAN! Ann Curry
Our pal Angry Asian Man haaaaates it when we make fun of Ann Curry, because he’s got a mad crush on the Today show anchor, who turns 53 today.
But the truth is, we do, too.
There’s something ineffably charming about her, whether it’s her repeatedly wishing you a good morning or her oogly-love for Brad Pitt that makes her go all fangirl during an interview. We’ve called her a robot time and again, yet we can’t actually remember how that got started in the first place–must have something to do with how perfect she always seems (and certainly how perfect her lipstick always is).
She’s just trying soooooo hard alllllll the time, y’know?
She should get points for that. And since it’s her birthday, we’re only going to say nice things about Ann. Here goes:
Ann, baby. You turn 53 today, and you look fuckin’ amazing. Please email us the name and number of your derm when you get a chance. You seem like a nice person, way nicer than us, all oozy with compassion, even when you’re talking to hideous fame trolls like Octomom, i.e. people we’d rather punch in the face. Your voice, that silky, smooth alto, could soothe the bloodlust of famished baby hyenas. We kid and we tease you only out of love. Now please don’t stop doing ridiculous things like really awkward hip-hop dancing or attempting to scale one of the world’s tallest, cruelest mountains or inappropriately touching movie stars’ faces, or we won’t have anything fun to write about anymore. Oh, and happy birthday!
Filed under: Ann Curry, Asian News Anchors, Birthdays, Hardhitting Journalists, Mixed People, Perfect People, Robots, The Today Show
BABEWATCH: Sonja Sohn “reWIRED”
Name: Sonja Sohn 
Hails from: Virginia
Occupation: Actress and activist
Why She’s a Babe: As Detective Kima Greggs on the best television show of all time, The Wire, Sonja proved that she could drink, smoke, fuck, and fuck up her relationships right alongside the big boys. And now the Blasian former slam poet–who goes by her Korean American mother’s maiden name because her father didn’t approve of her career choice–is turning her experiences from the show and from filming in the bleakest neighborhoods of Baltimore into a nonprofit called “reWIRED For Change,” a life-skills, violence prevention, and self-esteem-building program targeting at-risk youth, ages 14-24. This along with The Wire being taught as a course at Harvard next year makes it almost seem like the show never died, went to TV heaven, and left me canceling HBO, watching all five seasons on DVD over and over like a fiend, and in a state of permanent mourning.
Well, almost.
[Boston Globe: 'The Wire' sparks a connection]
Filed under: Baltimore, Blasians, Groundbreaking Television, HBO, I Miss The Wire, Korean-Americans, Mixed People, One Hour Dramas, Rewired for Change, sonja sohn, The Wire, The Wire Goes to Harvard
BIRTHDAY CELEBRASIAN! Johnny Damon
Wishing Johnny Damon a happy birthday is total fucking overkill. We refuse to do it. Here’s why:
Johnny Damon and Joba the Hutt Chamberlain celebrate the New York Yankees’ 27th World Series title
Imagine you’re Johnny Damon. You wake up today, and it’s your 36th birthday. You’re hungover, no, scratch that, you’re still drunk from the night before, because you raged into the wee hours after winning the World Series. Not your first World Series, mind you, but your second…in five years. Would it be gauche to wear both rings at once, you wonder, sleepily, drunkenly, grinning at the irony of your World Series ring won with the Red Sox and your World Series ring won with the Yankees glinting side by side on your knuckles. (You’re pretty stoked that you know what “irony” is, too. Well, sorta, but you wouldn’t want to have to put it in, like, actual words.)
Continue reading BIRTHDAY CELEBRASIAN! Johnny Damon
Filed under: Birthdays, Blowjobs, Johnny Damon, Mixed People, MLB, New York Yankees, New York Yankees Win World Series, Thais, The World Series
Everything That’s Cute Must Converge: Alexa Chung + Hansel from Basel [GIVEAWAY]
CUTE OVERLOAD!
Our favorite BrIt girl Alexa Chung is featured in the September issue of Nylon magazine wearing our favorite socks from our friend Hannah’s company, Hansel from Basel.
Now, you may be asking yourself, how is it that we have a favorite sock company? But Hansel from Basel socks aren’t just, like, socks. To us, they’re more like lingerie (you’ll find they have that effect on your significant other, too). Some sport sweet details–pom-poms, ribbons, knee patches–while others, like their over-the-knee and thigh-high socks, are just sexy.
We want you to experience the magic of Hansel from Basel firsthand, so we’re doing a GIVEAWAY. Here’s the deal:
The first 5 people to bring us 10 new Twitter followers (no spambots, please) get a FREE pair of Hansel from Basel socks. DM us with the names of 10 legit Twitter accounts who have started following DISGRASIAN and once they check out, you’ll never go barefoot again!
Filed under: Alexa Chung, Brit Girls, Giveaways, Hansel from Basel, It Girls, Mixed People, Nylon Magazine, Sexy Socks, Socks
BABEWATCH: WABC-TV Anchor Liz Cho
Name: Liz Cho
Age: 37
Occupation: Local news anchor
Why She’s a Babe: In 2003, Cho, who’s Koreish (half-Korean, half-Jewish), was named by People as one of its 50 Most Beautiful People. She’s inspired a website called Liz Cho Is Awesome, which deemed her “the next Katie Couric, Jane Pauly, and Joan Lundon all rolled into one.” And Asylum recently counted the WABC news anchor among its “Top 19 Hottest Newscasters in America.” Us? We love her strong features, particularly that long face and those sculpted cheekbones, which kinda remind us of Cher circa Mermaids (i.e. masculine but pretty, before all of the wack plastic surgery). We also like that this Korean surgeon’s daughter keeps it classy in her off-hours, and despite being universally hailed as a babe, she’s never snapped flaunting her assets all over the place like so many other of her peers.
[Asylum: The Top 19 Hottest Newscasters in America]
Source
Thanks, Raymond!
Filed under: Asian-American Newscasters, Hot Newscasters, Judasians, Koreish, Liz Cho, Local News, Mixed People, Network News, People Magazine, People's 50 Most Beautiful People
Olivia Munn and Comic-Con Go Together Like Ramma Lamma Lamma Ka Dinga Da Dinga Dong
Hey nerds. For those of you headed to Comic-Con this weekend (we’re still debating whether or not to go), check out Olivia Munn’s list of “14 Sexy Comic-Con Faves” over at Entertainment Weekly.
Along with the usual suspects, like Superman, Wonder Woman, and Slave Leia (which Olivia dressed up as a few Comic-Cons ago), there are some surprise picks from the Attack of the Show! host, like the Prince of Persia (i.e. the character that turned Jake Gyllenhaal into an oily muscle queen), Poison Ivy (“She was a bitch with serious issues. I admire that”), and…Kathy Bates in Misery???
Olivia writes:
“Okay, I know this is questionable. But, come on! This is a woman who saw an opportunity and didn’t let go. Okay, maybe that opportunity was to enslave her favorite writer and force him to write books. But she knew what she wanted and she wasn’t afraid to go after it. And isn’t that sexy?“
We seriously could not love this chick–Olivia, we mean, and not the sledgehammer-wielding Annie Wilkes–more.
Catch the Attack of the Show! crew on Friday at Comic-Con.
[EW: Olivia Munn: 14 Sexy Comic-Con Faves]
Filed under: 2009 Comic-Con, Annie Wilkes, Attack of the Show, By the Way Thanks for 8 Years of Misery, Geek Icons, Geeks, Mixed People, Nerds, Olivia Munn Playboy, Olivia Munn Slave Leia, Stephen King
ROCK OF ASIAN: Judith Hill, "Heal the World" Singer
The only time I cried Tuesday during the Michael Jackson memorial was in the middle of it, when I went back to sleep after an awful night of tossing and turning and dreamed that I was crying, uncontrollably, that hiccupy, face-contorting, ugly kind of crying. It was unclear in the dream why I was crying, but I remember being surprised by my tears. And then I woke up and watched the rest of the memorial service, which I had recorded, dry-eyed.
There was something so chilling about mourning a man in the most public of ceremonies whose great tragedy was that he had never had a private life. Even in death, there wasn’t any way for Michael Jackson to walk–or be driven in a casket–down the street unnoticed.
And the memorial service itself, while undoubtedly providing fans some kind of catharsis–and entertainment, searing into our brains one last time this notion that Michael was the consummate entertainer–felt strangely like an awards show and not a funeral, an awards show with a peculiar dress code: black clothing, sad faces, choked-back tears. (Except for Mariah, who, god bless her, adorned her mourning garb with a Farrah Fawcett-worthy hair flip, cleavage down to there, and sequins.) Everyone who eulogized Michael was so famous, chyrons identifying them to the general public were dispensed with by and large.
Perhaps that’s why I found Judith Hill’s performance of “Heal the World” towards the end of the service so moving. Hill, who’s half-black and half-Japanese and whose parents met in a funk band in the 70’s, was scheduled to be one of Michael’s backup singers during his shows in London, and was, until yesterday, a complete unknown. Hours before Rolling Stone identified her, our friend Raymond, cofounder of URB magazine, Tweeted her identity and website (I don’t know how he figured it out, he’s just brillz that way).
Every time she sang the line “heal the world,” I thought she might actually do it. There was joy tempering the pain, and unlike so many of the other performances of the day, hers didn’t feel produced–in the sense of “lights, camera, action”–for an audience. Hill’s rendition of the song Michael once said was the one he was most proud to have created wasn’t transmitted through this thick static of celebrity, performance, apology, legacy-asserting, and possibly fake-tears. Which is why it almost brought me to real ones. And I think I might have cried if I knew what exactly I was crying for, unlike in my dream, where I cried and cried for no reason.
Would I be crying for him? Me? Those lost moments of childhood, jumping on my bed, singing every line that I could make out in Thriller, believing there was no greater happiness?
[Judith Hill Music]
[Judith Hill MySpace]
Thanks, Raymond!
Filed under: Blasians, Judith Hill Heal the World Singer, Mariah Carey, Michael Jackson Funeral, Michael Jackson Memorial, Mixed People, We Are the World
BIRTHDAY CELEBRASIAN! Olivia Munn
Happy birthday to Olivia Munn, who turns 27 today!
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Did we mention she’s Playboy’s cover girl this month? There are 14 pics of Olivia in her birthday suit (almost) that weren’t published in the magazine that you can see on Playboy’s website. Right now. For free.
So it’s kinda like her birthday and your birthday, too.
[Playboy.com: Olivia Munn, G4's sexy siren, is the new nerd crush!]
Filed under: 27 is a Shitty Age By Any Standard, Asian Babes, Attack of the Show, G4, Geeks, Mixed People, Nerds, Olivia Munn, Olivia Munn Playboy, Olivia Munn Playboy Cover
