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The Miss USA Pageant And The Politics Of Beauty

May 19th, 2010 | 7 comments | Posted by Jen

One of the most awesomely fake controversies of the year has got to be the decrying of newly-crowned Miss USA Rima Fakih–the first Muslim-American and second Arab-American winner of the pageant–as a “politically-correct” choice, and the hostility demonstrated primarily by the Right toward this idea of politics mixing with beauty. Because anyone with half a fucking brain knows that politics ALWAYS mixes with beauty.  Apart from a preference for facial symmetry, which has been proven in different scientific studies to be an objective and cross-cultural beauty criterion, humans aren’t born with an innate sense for what’s beautiful.  In other words, beauty is not so much in the eye of the beholder as it is in the thinking.  Our thinking, as in…our ideologies, belief systems, and politics?  Why people are bringing this up now as some kind of newfangled liberal invention is beyond me.  Was it not political that the first Eurasian Miss USA was only crowned in 1984, the first Latina Miss USA in 1985, and the first black Miss USA in 1990?  Did the fact that white chicks almost always took home the title of Miss USA in the thirty-plus years before that have nothing to do with politics, and, more specifically, the political notion that “American beauty” equals Caucasian?

Look, if Miss USA is getting more politically-correct, we should all be singing hallelujah.  Let’s not forget that these women still put Vaseline on their teeth to keep that crazy person’s smile on their faces and they prance around in bikinis and stilettos as though that’s a completely normal thing to do when half-naked in public, so a little swinging of the pageant’s politics toward something more progressive and a little less racist is a Barbie-heeled step in the right direction.

ALSO, just to reel this in from an overthinking place: Continue reading The Miss USA Pageant And The Politics Of Beauty

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Miss USA’s National Costume–Also a Disgrace?

August 19th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen
Miss Japan: Before & After

The Miss Universe pageant will air August 23 on NBC, but competition is already underway. You may recall the recent mishegas surrounding Miss Japan’s national costume, which has been toned down after it was widely-criticized as a “disgrace”–no pink crotch-mound will be exposed during the show after all–but get a load of Miss USA’s outfit:


This is a beauty pageant, right? Where did that chick’s face go? And this is how we’re representing America in the Obama-era? With car-racing and camel-toe?

[via BuzzFeed]

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Oops!…I Did It Again

July 14th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

For the second year running, Miss USA fell on her ass in the Miss Universe pageant. Last night, after being named to the Top 10, Missouri City, Texas-native Crystle Stewart slipped during the evening gown competition:

Is this is some kind of metaphor for America’s standing in the world? (Ms. Stewart finished eighth overall.) Ah well–at least her fall will be good fodder for the future endeavors of Miss USA, a motivational speaker who plans on opening a “character development school” after her reign and is currently working on a book called–I shit you not–”Waiting to Win.”

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Miss USELESS Pageant Tonight

March 23rd, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Drunk Girl/Coke Whore/reigning Miss USA Tara Conner will finally hand over her crown this evening. Congrats, Tara. It’s been, like, a total annus horribilis! The upshot is you’ve only checked yourself into rehab once in an entire year, unlike some people.



“You talkin’ to me? Then who the hell else are you talking… you talking to me? Well I’m the only one here. Who the fuck do you think you’re talking to?”

Uh, I am talkin’ to you-know-who, but I digress. The real story here is that judges for tonight’s Miss USA pageant include Vanessa Minnillo, herself a former beauty queen:


And Kimora Lee Simmons, a former…


…person.

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