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Death Burger: The Windows 7 Whopper

October 27th, 2009 | 7 comments | Posted by Jen

In an effort to promote the debut of Windows 7 last week in Japan, Microsoft partnered up with Burger King to offer this monstrosity, the Windows 7 Whopper:

windows7whopper-lg_270x381

Seven Whopper patties, 1.7 lbs of meat, and 2,120 calories for 777 yen.

So what this tells me about Microsoft’s latest operating system is…

  1. Windows 7 is messy.
  2. Windows 7 will make me puke.
  3. Windows 7 is bad for me.
  4. Microsoft ad people suck.
  5. Windows 7 will give me diabeetus.
  6. Windows 7 is trying to kill me.
  7. Windows 7 is for sad people.

Great ad campaign, guys!

Continue reading Death Burger: The Windows 7 Whopper

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I’m Not a PC. I’m Not a PC. I’m Not a PC. I’m Not a PC.

September 15th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Kylie, Bill Gates’ pint-sized, secret advertising weapon, is back in a new ad for Windows 7, which debuts October 22.

Once again, we will not be manipulated. We are not PC’s, dammit! Not now, not ever. PC’s aren’t cute. PC’s have no personality. PC’s are like that okay-looking bad kisser you meet at a bar and go home with whom you decide later on in the evening you don’t even have the energy to sleep with even though you really really need sex whom you then have to hastily kick out of your house because you’ve decided that how you really want to spend your evening is drinking alone and catching up on your TiVo.

That said, Damn you, Bill Gates. Damn. You. For. Almost. Making. Us. Wish. We. Were. PC’s. You. Prick.

[via channelAPA]

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Yellow Is Mellow, But Black Is Wack in Microsoft’s Polish Advertising

August 27th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

A couple of days ago, TechCrunch reported on a curious case of race-swapping that they discovered on two identical Microsoft marketing sites. In the U.S. version of the site, a photo of an Asian man, a black man, and a white woman could be seen on Microsoft’s “Business Productivity Infrastructure” home page:


But in the Polish version of the same site, the head of the black man had been photoshopped out and replaced with that of a white man:


After the blogosphere caught wind of this, the Polish site was changed, and the black man restored to the photo. Microsoft apologized Wednesday for this racial switcheroo and stated that they were “looking into the details of this situation.”

Presumably that also means they’ve fired the photoshop guy who not only did the horrible cut-and-paste job on the replacement head–notice its distinct Linda-Blair-in-The Exorcist-head-swivel–but left in the black hand, and, perhaps most devastatingly for Microsoft, failed to notice, unlike several savvy commenters over at Photoshop Disasters, that the computer in front of the black/not-black guy is an Apple MacBook(!).

[via TechCrunch]
[Photoshop Disasters: Microsoft Poland: At Least They Left The Asian Guy In]

Thanks, @arcadius!

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I’m a PC. Wait, What?!

February 19th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Question: Who can resist the ineffable charms of a 4 1/2 year-old, tech-savvy, chubby-cheeked little Asian tater tot who emails her parents, doctors her pictures, has a pet fish named Dorothy, and tries to sell you a PC?

Answer: We can.

But it is. Oh. So. Hard. Because. She. Is. Our. Achilles. Heel. Damn. You. Bill. Gates.

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