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Iron Man 2‘s Mickey Rourke revealed in an interview last week that he is set to play Mongol badass Genghis Khan in a biopic written by Apocalypse Now writer John Milius.
Now, this could be considered one of the most egregious examples in recent history of an actor in yellowface, IF you considered this…
…an actual face, that is.
Filed under: Genghis Khan, Hollywood and Yellowface, Mickey Rourke, Mickey Rourke To Play Genghis Khan, Mongol Rulers, Mongols, Racial Drag, Shameful Movie Roles, Were There No Asian Actors Available?, Whitewashing, Yellowface
Enough about Kanye already. Since when did the VMAs become the Nobel Prize ceremony anyway? It’s an awards show for music videos. You know, like really short films for people with even shorter attention spans. The actual awards are called “moonmen.” And did you honestly know who Taylor Swift was before Kanye “took away her moment”? I’ve been seeing her pointy face everywhere for some time without any real idea of who she is. Now I can name one of her songs at least. (I do concur with our Prez, though, that Kanye’s a “jackass.” But enough about that already, too.)
Because what really shocked me at the VMAs was what’s happening to Madonna’s face.
Dude. This is a scary slippery slope that does not lead to a good place:
Page Six, ever the bearer of truthful word, reported today that wow-and-I-do-mean-wow-face Mickey Rourke was accosted by Bai Ling at Hollywood’s Chateau Marmont just the other night. In Richard Johnson’s own icky words, the odd duo “made out and partied pretty hard.”
I’ll be honest. My gut reaction was to write: Dude, I thought Rourke was freaking uh-mazing in his unrelenting lead role in ‘The Wrestler‘. That, however, did not cause me to hearken back to his younger, more beautiful days, and rekindle a desire to suck his mangled face. Dude, Bai. Do your Adductor thigh muscles only respond to IMDB stats? What is the deal?
Then, of course, I had to go and do what I loathe most: a little research. This naturally led me down a slippery slope to one of Bai Ling’s online biographies–which includes the following blurb about her personal life:
She is friends with Kimberly Stewart. She dated a play actor in the mid-1980s in China, and music composer Qu Xiao-Song in the mid 1990s, and Chris Isaak 1999-2001. She was briefly said to be romantically linked to Backstreet Boy Nick Carter. Rumors spread that Bai was engaged to him, but Carter denied the rumors, saying they were “just friends”. More recently, Ling has been linked to Dionne Warwick’s son, Damon Elliott, though the two are not currently dating.
ZzzZzZzzzzSo… okay. How can anyone with even a pittance of warmth in their heart (that’s about all I’ve got) look at that sad little collection of facts and not feel kinda bad for the poor woman? Ling’s personal life, despite her fondness for dancing and easily accessible breasts, actually seems duller than Sienna Miller’s mangy hair. I wouldn’t wish that kind of dry love life on anyone, not even this crazy bitch.
So instead, I’m really very psyched for Ling, and happy about the fact that she got some aggressive tongue action the other night, even if it makes me go “Eww.” Here’s hoping she got felt up and maybe even fingerbanged! Anything to spice up that sad little paragraph.
And–guys, take a look at Rourke’s fuckin’ FACE!–I do mean anything.