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MICHELLE: Shoulders back, darling.
DAUGHTER: How come you got to wear an evening gown and I got this yellow…thing?
MICHELLE: One day when you become an international movie star, you too will wear the good stuff. And straighten out your ankle, dear, you look like a gimp.
DAUGHTER: Is this dress even couture? It kinda looks like Haute Goodwill.
MICHELLE: Of course it’s couture! And I think the color is splendid on you.
DAUGHTER: It’s the color of vomit.
MICHELLE: No it’s not.
DAUGHTER: Okay, then…it’s a Big Bird suit.
MICHELLE: You’re wearing Dior Haute Couture at the Dior show. Show some gratitude and a little smile, won’t you?
DAUGHTER: I would smile if a little part of me didn’t die every time I was photographed next to you. You always look awesome and I look, like, whatever, and people think, Is that poor girl adopted? It’s a bummer. I hate having a MILF for a mother. I feel like your ugly duckling. Oh god, that’s it! This outfit is Galliano’s cruel joke on me. I am an ugly yellow…duck. Quack, quack!!
MICHELLE: Okay, that’s quite enough. Time for your happy pill! (to photographer) Just take the picture.
When you look at the photo of Michelle Yeoh below, taken at an event last night in Paris, bear in mind that homegirl is 45 YEARS OLD.
Occupation: Actress and Asskicker
Known for: Fists of fury, stealing the show from Jackie Chan in Super Cop and Zhang Zhiyi in Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, defying gravity, hotness without ho-ness, that body, that face, flawlessness.
Go see Michelle Yeoh play an astronaut trying to save the planet in Danny Boyle’s Sunshine, a sci-fi masterpiece.