You are currently browsing posts tagged with Michelle Malkin Is a Joke

Michelle Malkin on the Swastika

February 18th, 2009 | 1 comment | Posted by Jen

What’s wrong with this picture? Nothing, if you believe Michelle Malkin, who posed for it at an anti-stimulus rally in Denver this week. If you have a problem with the swastika, you’re just being “hypersensitive,” according to her.

So quit your bitchin’, you emo, touchy-feely liberals. It’s just a swastika. It never hurt nobody!

Thanks, Jasmine!

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Do Nothing

January 29th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana


  • waking up
  • brushing teeth
  • delegating the morning dog walk to her cohabitant
  • drinking Perrier
  • showering
  • driving
  • sitting
  • checking photo comments on Facebook
  • writing a Birthday Celebrasian post about an age-defying hottie
  • looking in the mirror at her eye bags and wrinkles
  • surfing for various eye creams
  • finding credit card
  • emailing Jen to see what she’s up to
  • drinking coffee
  • drinking espresso
  • dusting off laptop keyboard
  • writing lists
  • hanging

Does that, according to Michelle Malkin’s reasoning, make me a “Get Things Done” Republican, a “Get Things Done” Democrat, a “Get Things Undone” Malkinite, or a happy do-nothing nobody?

I… don’t really know.

But I’m sure if I could figure her logic out, I would hate myself.

Source Source Source
Thanks, Jasmine!

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Isn’t She…Pretty in Mink?

November 20th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Looking for a calendar to keep track of your social commitments in 2009? Forget Pirelli and its nudish, high fashion models photographed in Africa by Peter Beard. Look no further than the Clare Boothe Luce Policy Institute’s “Pretty in Mink” calendar, celebrating “smart, conservative women role models” like Ann “Total Fag” Coulter and Michelle “In Defense of Internment” Malkin. These paragons of intelligence and good sense have been styled like stars of a bygone era, “back when the big screen was a little more glamorous, women were a little more feminine, the men a little more charming—and the world a little less politically correct,” i.e. a Glamour Shots mall outpost circa the late 80′s. In a word–awesome.

I’ve only got one bone to pick with this calendar, and that is its gussying up of Malkin in a mink coat. I get that that is the conceit of this beauteous must-have object. And I have no issue with fur, as a vintage ocelot coat hangs in my closet that I would wear more if I didn’t live in southern California and if I wasn’t so afraid some deranged PETA vegan would throw a tofu pie at it.

I just don’t understand why someone would skin scores of rodent-like creatures (35 to 65 on average) only to outfit another. Doesn’t make sense really.

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Michelle Malkin v. Perez Hilton: Who to Root For?

September 10th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Conservatard blogger Michelle Malkin accused celebutard blogger Perez Hilton today of being a “P.D.S. Sufferer” (that’s “Palin Derangement Syndrome”) for posting this photo on his website with regard to Obama’s “lipstick on a pig” comment:

So then Michelle–in a classic thinner-than-thou-size-zero-Asian-chick-implicitly-crowing-about-her-smaller-frame maneuver–hit back with a pig smear of her own:


The question is, who to root for? They both spread gossip for a living. They each have massive followings who are near-illiterate, judging by their user comments. Name-punning–like “Snobama” and “Sluttyiena Miller”–is their bread-and-butter. And they both hate on pretty much everyone.


Maybe they should just fuck and get it over with already.


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Michelle Malkin Is Asian, After All

August 26th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

For those of you who’ve ever wondered if Michelle Malkin is really Asian, given her championing of internment camps and other racist whatthefuckery, watch this video taken of a protest yesterday in Denver, where Michelle was “reporting”:

Didja see how our favorite conservamidge clung to her camera like any good Asian would? Nothing was going to come between Michelle and her Nikon! NOTHING.

As for her Britney-esque gum-smacking problem?

Well, we never said bitch was civilized.

Thanks, Jasmine!

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Michelle Malkin Says Something Funny for a Change

July 28th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Today, Michelle Malkin posted about Barack Obama speaking to UNITY, a group of journalists of color–“Obamedia Watch: Left-wing minority journalists show their true colors”–and took down those “left-wing partisan minority journalists” for being biased:

UNITY and its minority journalism members are inherently politicized entities. They push for a left-leaning agenda of advocacy journalism, color-coded diversity, and open-borders sympathizing disguised as reporting. They mau-mau editors to avoid ethnic descriptions when it reflects badly on their group (see AAJA: Don’t call shooter Asian!) and applaud themselves for promotion ‘diversity’ in journalism.

Also in the post, she quoted a wire story that asked, “Can minority journalists resist applauding Obama?”–and responded:

“Um, well, some of us can. But we don’t count.”

Pardon the expression, but somebody STOP THE FUCKIN’ PRESSES.

Michelle Malkin is a journalist all of a sudden?!

[dangerously hysterical laughing ensues]

Oh, Michelle! You’re such a kidder! You almost got us with that one!


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Jesse’s Pair

July 17th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Dear Michelle,

Brava for calling out Barack Obama for “whining” in a recent interview with Glamour magazine, in which he says attacks on his wife are “infuriating” and “spouses are civilians…(t)hey didn’t sign up for this.” A tough stance against whining is exactly what America needs to be strong and great; just ask Phil Gramm. And this on the heels of you telling Obama to “grow a pair” after the New Yorker cover-flap! Gurrrl, you’re on fire! But, let’s face it. It ain’t easy to up and grow a pair. Unless Barack has the balls of a starfish. So we thought it might be more expedient if you lent him a pair. Don’t you have your better half Jesse’s lying around somewhere? You know, your Rhodes Scholar economist-turned-house husband? We believe they’re on your desk, next to that little jar of gherkins. Er, we mean, pickles.




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Michelle Merkin Musings

July 9th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Michelle Malkin doesn’t know what a “gherkin” is. Yesterday, she posted a 60 Minutes interview with the Obamas during which Barack made tuna fish sandwiches for his family with chopped-up gherkins in them and wrote, “(D)on’t ask me what those are, I have no idea.” Is Michelle politicizing food again? Does she think tiny pickles are elitist, too? Or is she a Size Queen? Perhaps pickles are too sour for her sweet constitution. Or she doesn’t own a dictionary. You would think that, as a blogger, she’d be hip to this newfangled thing called Wikipedia. Or maybe it’s that the word “gherkin” is Persian in origin…and we know how she feels about Persians. Persians are foreign. Persians are terrorists. In which case, I gather Michelle doesn’t use the words “candy,” “lemon,” “pajama,” or “sugar” either, since they’re Persian, too. What did Michelle eat when she was pregnant? Non-elitist pickles? Like, Vlasic or something? I guess she doesn’t realize that even Vlasic makes gherkins, too. Maybe we should send some over to her, extending those tiny pickles like an olive branch? “Malkin” and “gherkin”–they actually share the same suffix! And when you combine them, you get the delightful word “merkin.” I know, I know, a merkin really has nothing to do with any of this, but for some reason, as I was thinking of Michelle Malkin and her problem with tiny pickles, a pubic hair-wig just happened to come to mind.


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Michelle vs. Michelle

June 16th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Michelle Malkin might not have had anything to do with the FOX News chyron that appeared under her lovely visage last week labelling Michelle Obama “Obama’s Baby Mama”

..but you know she was thinkin’ it!

Click here to read Malkin’s real attacks on Michelle Obama, whom she oh-so-cleverly calls Barack’s “Bitter Half.”


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