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Intern Jasmine’s Links Of The Daysian

December 3rd, 2010 | 1 comment | Posted by jasmine

Microagressions tracks and calls bullshit on those annoying acts and indignities of the ignorant that insult people of color. [microagressions.tumblr.com - thanks, Veronica!]

According to Margaret Cho, the only reason Bristol Palin competed on “Dancing With The Stars” was because her Hardass mother Sarah Palin forced her. Is it possible we actually feel kinda…sorry for Bristol? Ugh. [MargaretCho.com]

Yellow kid Fei “Phillip” Lam, a Queens high school student, is now known as the “White iPhone Kid.” He’s already made a mint breaking down the barrier between gadget nuts and the not-yet-available white iPhone 4 by selling simple DIY kits. [The Observer via Gothamist]

Sounds like relations between Miami Heat coach Erik Spoelstra and King James are a bit frosty. Frenemies! [The Huffington Post]

Some Hindu peeps would like to remind y’all that yoga isn’t just for Eat, Pray, Love-reading, lululemon-shopping Westerners, aight? [The New York Times]

Sheena Matheiken’s Uniform Project lives on in 2010, its message of sustainable design taken up by twelve of her fellow fashion-forward friends. She interviewed project participant Angie Johnson for The Huffington Post. [The Huffington Post]

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Shaq Speaks Two Dialects

August 15th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Shaquille “Ching-Chong” O’Neal shall hereby be known as Shaquille “Ka-Ching-Chong” O’Neal. The aging, creaky-kneed, formerly dominant center is on a 5-day promotional tour of China sponsored by Li Ning, a Chinese sportswear company with which Shaq has a low-rent not Nike age-appropriate shoe deal. During which time he has talked up Chinese players Yao and Yi and promised the former a wedding present (24 inch rims…how very 2002). Here he is, pictured in native dress:

I believe the character he’s holding in his hand is Chinese for “douchetard.”

Ka-Ching-Chong also posed with some young Chinese basketball players, who were thrilled to meet the donezo superstar.

KIDS: LeBron LeBron LeBron LeBron!!!

SHAQ: Hey children! Ni hao…uh…I forgot the rest.

KIDS: Wait. Who the fuck are you? Where’s LeBron?!? They said LeBron was coming! This is bullshit!!! We want LeBron! We want LeBron! We want LeBron!

SHAQ: (to photographers) Hehehe. Kids these days. (to kids) I’m Shaquille O’Neal, you know, the Big Aristotle, the General, Shaq Diesel…Shaq Fu?

KIDS: Never heard of you. We want LeBron.

SHAQ: Well you’re stuck with me.

KIDS: You’re fat and old. LeBron speaks Mandarin, what can you do?

SHAQ: Well, I speak your language, too. Ching-chong-yang-wah-ah-soh!

KIDS: Dude. We are eye-level with your nuts. Do that again, and we will tear them off and grind them to dust. Understand?

SHAQ: Duly noted.

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Sweep!

April 30th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

The Miami Heat proved Sunday that they could not run with the Chicago Bulls, getting swept in the series. It was the first time in 50 years that a defending champ got eliminated in the first round of playoffs.

I’ve just got a few words to say to DISGRASIAN Hall-of-Famer Shaquille O’Neal.

You old. You ugly. You done.

Oh, and CHING CHONG CHING CHONG CHING CHONG muthafucka!

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Disgrasianians 4:13

April 12th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

While trolling nba.com tonight for photos of the L.A. Clippers’ spectacular 4th quarter comeback against the L.A. Fakers (more on that later), I stumbled upon a little gem.

Her name is Alawan. She’s a dancer for the Miami Heat. She’s a fellow Asian-Texan. She’s also drunk the Krazy Khristian Kool-Aid:



As a survivor of Jesus Camp, five years running, I am somewhat compelled to point out Aly’s Mis”Quote to Live By” from Paul’s Epistle to the Philippians.

First of all, Aly…it’s Philippians. One L, two P’s. Got that? Okay, good.

And, no, Philippians is not an island country in Southeast Asia.

Also, I believe the correct quotation of Philippians 4:13 is:

“I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH HOOKER BOOTS WHICH STRENGTHEN ME.”

Bible Study adjourned!

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