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High Hopes For ‘Sarah Palin’s Alaska’

November 15th, 2010 | 2 comments | Posted by Diana

Apple pie and a cross couldn't make this photo more American

Apparently, 5 million people watched the premiere of Sarah Palin’s 8-part reality series, her Alaska, last night.

I was one of them. Miraculously, I held down my vomit through every stinking minute of the TLC hour, mostly because I was hoping that Alaska’s former governor would get eaten by a bear (although I certainly would have settled for her falling off of a mountainside). She didn’t. But there are seven more episodes to go, so here’s hoping.

If you compare this pilot to other recent television hours, like Matt Lauer’s recent interview with the fact-slalom king, George W. Bush, then heck, the content wasn’t at all that infuriating. After all, one could maybe accept Alaska as simply a cloying, stagey, poorly-produced celebreality show (Really, Mark Burnett? You built how many scenes off of one blurred Joe McGinniss cutaway? Tsk!) along the lines of Keeping Up With The Kardashians (except the young, unmarried, unqualified new mom in this show isn’t old enough to drink yet). One could celebrate the soaring music cues, red-white-and-blue lower thirds and Christian-rock theme song of the show as just what the Middle American doctor ordered. One could argue that the vast mountain landscapes, endless skies, and extreme animal closeups legitimize this “travelogue,” excusing Palin’s thinly-if-at-all-veiled political rhetoric–sprinkled throughout each story beat–because she, like a Ken Burns that can’t pronounce “feel,” is just givin’ a much needed voice to the under-appreciated state she loves so darn much.

You could. But you’d be lying, just like anyone who defends the show as “completely non-political.”

Sarah Palin’s Alaska marks an American low, a political low, and HOLY CRAP a reality show low (which I wasn’t sure even existed). I really, REALLY hope there’s a hungry bear in episode two.

[LAT: 'Sarah Palin's Alaska' breaks TLC record with 5 million viewers for premiere]

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Da Plane! Da Plane! Fantasy Island Gets A Reality Makeover

October 5th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

One of my favorite shows from childhood, Fantasy Island, is being remade…into reality TV. Variety reported today that the new version will center around 12 contestants competing to become the “real-life Mr. or Ms. Roarke,” by making the dreams of guests arriving on a weekly basis come true. Survivor creator Mark Burnett and Sony Pictures TV are behind the show.

Will the reality version of Fantasy Island deal with dark themes as the original did, like rape, suicide, and murder? Or will it be all about leis, suntans, and umbrella drinks?

More importantly, will there be a side(kick) competition to see who gets to be the real-life Mr. or Ms. Tattoo? Could be fun. Could be a hot mess. Let’s just wait and see.

[Variety: Sony, Burnett to visit 'Fantasy Island']

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Survival of the Asianest

March 30th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Any of you remember Yul Kwon, winner of last season’s Survivor: Cook Islands (the “race” show)? He went to Stanford, got a law degree from Yale, and so dominated the game both physically and mentally that he was voted an almost unanimous winner by fellow contestants. AMAZIAN.

Early in the game, Yul was banished to “Exile” Island, where he found the much sought-after Immunity Idol, which protected him from eliminasian and ultimately helped him to win. Determined not to let an Asian Mastermind take over the show again this season, Survivor producers have cast a pushover named Mookie, a couple of frivolous chicks that I seriously can’t tell apart yet, and Yau Man, a computer engineer-patsy:

Yau Man is your classic 98-lb weakling, with buckteeth and a sketchy command of English. I am 100% sure he tried to smuggle a pocket-protector on the island as a luxury item, the way other people bring in floss and chapstick. The other contestants make fun of him because he’s puny and old and because his name is “Yau Man.” He’s constantly, to use Survivor vernacular, on the chopping block. He’s set-up to be a total Disgrasian, only…

…guess who found the Immunity Idol last night, bitches?

Suck it, Haters!

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