You are currently browsing posts tagged with Maria Sharapova

The Most Fans of Sharapova’s Crotch Can Hope for Now Is Some Rockin’ Camel Toe

June 25th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Maria Sharapova announced this week that, instead of wearing a tennis dress at Wimbledon, she would be debuting a Nike-designed “tuxedo” that consists of a jacket, pants, some weird dickey top that reminds me of something I used to wear in the high school marching band, and SHORTS.


Upon hearing the tragic sartorial news, fans of Maria Sharapova’s Crotch wept.

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SPORTS ILLUSTRASIAN: Maria Sharapova’s Crotch, Continued

June 2nd, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Dispiriting news for DISGRASIAN and women’s tennis fans the world over: Maria Sharapova’s crotch was eliminated today from the French Open–the only Grand Slam it hasn’t won–by fellow Russian Dinara Safina (Hot Marat Safin’s little sis). Maria Sharapova’s crotch had match point in the second set, but then things got a little, uh, slippery, and Safina rallied to win it. Late in the third, as the match started to swing in its opponent’s favor, Maria Sharapova’s crotch reportedly started making a lot of noise and, according to the AP, that “seemed to annoy fans. They whistled and booed Sharapova as she left Court Suzanne Lenglen after the match.”

Boo Maria Sharapova’s crotch? Mon dieu!

(No idea why we’re fixated on Maria Sharapova’s crotch? Click here.)

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SPORTS ILLUSTRASIAN: Notes from the Down Underground

January 23rd, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen
Zhang Jie and Yan Zi, 2006 Australasian Open doubles champs


The quarterfinals at the Australasian Open were not kind to the Williams sisters this year. First Serena was knocked out of the singles competition by Serbian Jelena Jankovic in straight sets, then Serena and Venus lost in doubles to Chinese duo Yan Zi and Zheng Jie, and, finally, Venus, who’s never won this Slam, was defeated in her singles match by another Serb, Ana Ivanovic, also in straight sets. All three losses occurred in the span of 24 hours. Rough day!

Speaking of China, there’s talk of moving the Australian Open, which advertises itself as “The Grand Slam of Asia/Pacific,” to Asia. China, specifically.

Even though the tournament has been held in Melbourne since 1905, I have a feeling I know who’ll win this fight. Perhaps the Aussies should adopt a new mascot…(drumroll)…the Down Underdogs! Okay, that was terrible.

On the subject of top dogs, can anyone beat Roger “The Federator” Federer on this hardcourt?

I’m still not convinced the dude isn’t an evil robot.

And, finally, we’ve noticed a big bump in DISGRASIAN’s traffic since the start of the Australasian Open. Are readers clicking over here for our unique slant on pop culture, sports, and celebutardity? Or our look at the presidential race through yellow-tinted glasses? Or our bitchy knee-jerk reactions to everything from protests of Japanese whaling to human rights in China?

Sadly, no. Many of you have just come for THIS.

THIS.


AND THIS.

So, once again, we’re putting out for you. Why? Cuz underneath our rough, pissed-off exteriors…

…we’re just gals who aim to please.

Happy tennis, pervs!

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Thank You, Maria Sharapova’s Crotch

November 7th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Oh ma lord. Yesterday was an incredible day here at DISGRASIAN HQ. Jen and I were sitting (lounging) in the conference room (tree-filled patio) gulping down work fuel (booze) when we decided to peek at our visitor numbers. Trust me, they’re always high… not that we look… but we couldn’t believe our eyes! Our numbers had skyrocketed to 13 million* unique visits! WOW!

Which means, as we’ve always hoped and dreamed, that you love us. You really love us. Which is great, because we love you too!

Out of curiosity, we peeked at where y’all were comin’ from. ‘Cuz we care about you and your stories and how you find us.

There was the referral page. Looks like you all came for the same reason. We saw, for miles and miles down the page…

…and we get it. Last week’s post on Toyo Shigeta hording photos of the secrets lurking beneath Maria Sharapova’s tennis skirtzzZZZzzZZzzz is currently featured on Buzzfeed, and apparently, that’s what brought most of you here.

Did you all just want to see the magical crotch? We’ve got it.

You want to see it? You want to see it? Here it is, the photo in question that apparently has the courtroom buzzy and our site even buzzier:

Yawn. I’ve seen more exciting between-the-legs action at an 8-year old’s soccer game. But that’s what you came for.

I will admit, it all kind of made us wonder, who is more DISGRASIAN… Shigeta, or YOU? But when we really thought about it, Shigeta doesn’t visit our site, so he’s the loser. You’re here, so you rule!

And you know what, we kind of like you. We invite all of you freaky deaks to stay and poke around awhile. There’s plenty of other upskirt action here!

UPDATE: Click here to see why there won’t be any Sharapova crotch shots at the 2008 Wimbledon.

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*almost

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Prolly More Than She Wanted to Sharapova

November 1st, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Toyo Shigeta, the head of the Japanese ad agency responsible for Maria Sharapova’s sizzling Canon Powershot ad in 2005, is now the target of a federal lawsuit–he apparently snapped upskirt photos of the tennis vixen to satisfy his icky fetish for crotch snapshots.

Jeez. You’d think with all the options…

…he wouldn’t have to waste any time taking any of those pervy-ass photos himself.

Instead, he chose to violate the princess of Tennis (which our friend at Racqonteur will not be happy about), and we hope he ends up with a racquet up his anus.

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Wanna see the photo? Click here, pervs!

UPDATE: Click here to see why there will be no Sharapova crotch shots at the 2008 Wimbledon.

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