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ROCK OF ASIAN: “Pants On The Ground,” Malaysian-Style

January 20th, 2010 | 2 comments | Posted by Diana

If at all, I only watch the first few weeks of any season of American Idol, because I like watching horrible auditions and becoming overwhelmed with icky tingles. I also cry during the background packages about contestants that inevitably nab golden tickets to Hollywood–whether it’s the sweet church singer who takes care of his sick mom, or the country bumpkin with the Tennessee Twang that likes to jump off of bridges for fun:

So I just happened to be watching last week when 62 year-old Larry Platt debuted the original song, “Pants On The Ground” (a track he wrote to encourage baggy pants-wearers to pull their pants up):

Continue reading ROCK OF ASIAN: “Pants On The Ground,” Malaysian-Style

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DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! The Caning Of Kartika, The Malaysian Muslim Woman Who Had A Beer

October 2nd, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

In December 2007, Kartika Sari Dewi Shukarno, a 32 year-old Malaysian Muslim woman, was at a hotel bar in the beach town of Cherating and had a beer.

Kartika with her two children (AP)

She was busted by Islamic enforcement officers, because Malaysia has a dual law system, and Muslims are subject to not only federal law but to sharia (syariah), or Islamic religious law, and according to the latter, it’s illegal to drink. She was then handed a caning sentence by the religious court last month.

After both an international and domestic outcry over the severity of this punishment–Malaysia wants to present itself as a “moderate” Islamic nation and Kartika would be the first woman to be caned under sharia law–the religious court decided to halt the caning and review their decision. But Monday, an appeals panel upheld the decision, and the caning of the married mother of two will be carried out after Ramadan.

One fascinating aspect of this legal case is Kartika’s decision not to appeal her sentence. Malaysia’s own Prime Minister, Najib Razak, urged her to appeal back in August, presumably to avoid international embarrassment. But Kartika refused. On what grounds depends on what source you believe.

Bernama, the official Malaysian government news agency, reported that her refusal to appeal was rooted in shame over her “crime”:

“I feel ashamed of myself for showing disrespect to my own religion. I want to respect (the court’s) decision and go through the punishment…I respect the law and Islam. Even before the sentence was passed in court, I had already made up my mind to accept the punishment and go through the ordeal,” she said.

International news agency AFP had a radically different spin on the matter, however:

Kartika, a part-time model and mother-of-two, has stared down religious authorities by refusing to appeal against her sentence, and challenging them to cane her in public.

So what cause is Kartika a martyr for (in the colloquial and not the crazazy extremist sense)? Islam or human rights? It’s hard to say, but one thing’s for sure–accepting being caned for drinking a beer on whatever grounds is some Hardass Asian shit right there.

Kartika with her sister after the caning was postponed in August (AP)

[USA Today: Court upholds caning of Malaysian woman for drinking beer]

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Gay Is Not a Bad Word

February 26th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen


STAR TV, the Hong Kong-based satellite TV service that reaches over 300 million viewers in 54 countries and is owned by Rupert Murdoch, censored the words “gay” and “lesbian” from the Oscar acceptance speeches of Milk‘s screenwriter Dustin Lance Black and lead actor Sean Penn in its re-telecast of the Academy Awards in Asia Monday evening. The sound from those speeches was reported to have dropped out when those words were uttered in Malaysia, Singapore, and India. Jannie Poon, a STAR spokeswoman, defended the company’s decision, saying STAR has “a responsibility to take the sensitivities and guidelines of all our markets into consideration.”

Adding, “Unless you’re gaysian, in which case, fuck you.”*

*Not actually uttered, but obviously implied.

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BABEWATCH: Ngew Sin Mei

August 19th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana


Name: Ngew Sin Mei

Hails from: Malaysia

Occupation: Olympic jumper

Why She’s a Babe: You’d think that Malaysia’s former triple jumping champion would see leaping as old hat after so many years of competition–but with her tiny frame and long, lanky limbs, she looks happy as a cricket soaring through the air on each attempt. We love her bouncy step, perky smile, and in-the-air flair. Who knew field athletes could be so darn cute?

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Muslasians Hate Gwen

August 1st, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Usually, Diana and I don’t go in for religious fanatacism, but if it results in the hateration of Gwen Stefani, consider us converts.

Reuters reports that in Malaysia, the 10,000 member National Union of Malaysian Muslim Students is protesting Stefani’s August 21st concert in Kuala Lumpur.

“Her video clips promoting the event are too obscene,” Mohamad Hilmi Ramli, the group’s president, told Reuters. “We want the organizers to cancel the concert, failing which we will ask the authorities to intervene.”

Did somebody say obscene? We could not agree more.

obscene, indecent, DISGRASIAN

Click here for full story.

Source: The Sweet Asscape Video

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Micro-Manasian

June 11th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

The Associated Press has reported that 1000 employees working in Malaysia’s Terengganu state’s main government administrative complex are now being monitored by sixteen closed-circuit cameras “to keep them from slacking off at work or vanishing for long tea breaks.”

Oy vey.

Here’s the weird thing: At my last place of official employment, I happened to install my own surveillance camera (Sure, out of vanity. I look hot while I work), and logged the day’s happenings:

9:00am – The work day has officially begun. Office is vacant.

9:30am – Still vacant.

9:45am – Still vacant. Serene almost.

10:03am – A key turns and the office door opens sneakily. A sneaky-looking Asian woman tiptoes in.

10:10am – Woman sits erect in chair and types gibberish on her keypad to sound busy.

10:30am – Woman slumps down in chair, click on her web browser bookmarks. First stop: DISGRASIAN.com

10:35am – Woman laughs uncontrollably for 1 hour while reading DISGRASIAN.com

11:36am – Woman walks the 8×8 perimeter of her room for exercise. Does 15 jumping jacks. Collapses on Ikea chair out of exhaustion. Dozes off for 4 minutes.

11:21am – Woman snaps alert and goes back to desk. Opens up work document. Makes an edit to the type.

11:22am – Woman begins reading celebrity blogs.

12:51pm – Woman calls friend in neighboring office. Jabbers on, arguing about whether or not a certain pair of celebrity breasts are wonky.

12:59pm – Exits for lunch.

1:03pm – Office is quiet.

1:58pm – A key turns and the office door opens sneakily. A sneaky looking Asian woman tiptoes in.

2:05pm – Woman opens up work document again. Sighs. Makes a few edits to the type. Googles a few things for research. Makes more edits.

2:49pm – Woman exits for tea break.

3:45pm – Office is quiet.

4:19pm – Woman returns with tea in hand, laughing about something.

4:29pm – Woman checks DISGRASIAN.com. Laughs heartily.

5:30pm – Woman begins working fiercely on document.

6:15pm – Woman prints out document. Goes to grab document from printer.

6:16pm – Woman proofreads document with red pen. Makes revisions. Prints again.

6:45pm – Woman feels satisfied with her work. Sends an email with the document attached.

6:55pm – Woman sneaks out of office, locking door behind her.

Big Brother, don’t you wish you had TiVo???

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Wasting Awaysian

May 8th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Reuters reports:

“Malaysian customs officials plan to send more than 196,000 cans of smuggled beer gurgling down the drain after confiscating them from a gang that specialized in reselling duty-free drinks to pubs and grocers.”


Errr… Please don’t waste in your haste!!!

Jen and I would like a taste!!!

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