You are currently browsing posts tagged with Maggie Q

AMAZIAN OF THE WEEK! Lisa Lee And Lynn Chen’s “Thick Dumpling Skin”

February 21st, 2011 | 4 comments | Posted by Diana

In all of my three decades of life, I have never once been skinny.

Now–before you get all up in my grill with the, “Ohmygawd Diana, you’re NOT fat” words of soothing or the “You bitch, don’t talk to me about not being skinny” words of annoyance, please know that I’m not fishing for compliments, nor complaining about my size, nor stating I’ve never been a healthy, normal weight. I’m just saying, I’ve never been skinny.

But Asian girls are supposed to be skinny, right?

That’s like, the Asian girl thing: “Oh gosh, I just eat and eat and eat but I can’t gain any weight.” And “Urggg–they ran out of size zeros.” And “I was the skinniest person on my softball team in high school and I always hated it.” And “I can’t believe it, Yennie and I both hit three-digit weights over the holidays and we almost died!” Slight frames and narrow shoulders and bony hips and knobby knees and protruding ribs and flat asses and tiny breasts and slender thighs and stick arms. It’s our answer to the world’s Amazon legs and blonde waves and sexy curves. We’re skinny, betches.

Well, some of us.

Are we all meant to look like this?

Then there are the rest of us. We are sized 4, 6, 8, 14, 20. Medium and XXL. We do not eat whatever we want. Our clothes don’t “hang” on us. We cannot fathom wearing thigh-high boots. We have learned to like Diet Coke. We see photos of ourselves at weddings and realize that our arms are the same size as our cousins’ legs. We do not get lifted whimsically in the air by men. We have never liked our knees. We walk into an Asian supermall and watch them shake their heads–Your size we do not carry. We have Continue reading AMAZIAN OF THE WEEK! Lisa Lee And Lynn Chen’s “Thick Dumpling Skin”

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Network TV, The Great White Hope

November 30th, 2010 | 4 comments | Posted by Diana

CONGRATULASIANS TO MAGGIE Q!!!

Lovely, leggy Q

Her show, Nikita, is now the only scripted network show starring a person of color who isn’t in an ensemble! She’s made it through the great white gauntlet! Phhhhhhhheeww.

Well that’s pretty fuckin’ sad, now isn’t it?

[Charlotte Observer: It's Still Pretty Pale At The Top]

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DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! The CW Network’s ‘Nikita’

October 29th, 2010 | 4 comments | Posted by Jen

Dear Nikita producers,

During last night’s episode, “The Recruit,” I got so much done: I checked my email 8 times, I accepted an outstanding friend request on Facebook, I wrote on somebody’s wall, I made a couple of online Scrabble moves–no bingos, sadly–I wrote 10 tweets, I bookmarked two websites, I read this ridiculous post about “How Dreadlocks Work,” I checked out Jessica Alba’s Twitter page because Twitter suggested that we follow her, and I read about designer vaginas, or, as I like to call them, “deginas,” which are apparently all the rage in the Czech Republic.

All this is to say that I WAS OUT OF MY MIND BORED WATCHING YOUR SHOW.

I’m not sure how exactly you’ve managed to make reading up on “deginas” more appealing than watching Maggie Q play a vengeful female assassin, but that’s exactly what’s happened.

Since I’m part of that female Vampire Diaries‘ audience the CW’s so keen on retaining, may I suggest you take one cue from your lead-in show?

Continue reading DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! The CW Network’s ‘Nikita’

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Maggie Q Named One Of Fall TV’s “Fresh Faces”

September 8th, 2010 | 10 comments | Posted by Jen

Maggie Q, star of the Nikita reboot that premieres tomorrow on the CW, has been named one of Fall TV’s 15 “Fresh Faces” by Entertainment Weekly.

“FACE”?

Continue reading Maggie Q Named One Of Fall TV’s “Fresh Faces”

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BIRTHDAY CELEBRASIAN! Maggie Q

May 20th, 2010 | 3 comments | Posted by Diana




Happy birthday to Maggie Q, who turns 31 on Saturday! This glorious beauty and Q-tie is so sweet in the face we’d consider giving up meat for her. At least for a day or two.

[Wikipedia: Maggie Q]

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Maggie Eww

April 18th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Page Six reported today that Brett Fat and Maggie Q are dating. The new couple attended a dinner together honoring documentary cinematographer Albert Maysles last week, where they reportedly got “very cozy” despite the fact that Mags did not understand the words coming out of Brett Fat’s mouth.

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Thanks, Jasmine!

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I Would Love to Chop Off These Balls

August 28th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen
Christopher Walken the Fuck Were You Thinking?

Don’t get me started on the ping pong movie, Balls of Fury, that opens this weekend. Honestly, I’m afraid that if I get into it, I will filibuster for days until people come to haul me off and have me committed. So I’ll just let the pictures from its premiere do the talking. Check out George Lopez, a star in the movie, with his wife and daughter on the red carpet:

Is there an upshot to this ABORTION of a movie?

Maggie Q looks Asian again. She also looks like she’s dying, but, eh, you can’t win ‘em all.

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ESPY With My Little Eye, Someone Who Needs a Sandwich

July 12th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen
Rapper T.I. and actress Maggie Q presenting at the ESPYS

Hey Diana–not only is Maggie Q turning into a white girl, she’s turning into a bobblehead. Didn’t you say you had leftover bread from La Brea Bakery? Sourdough or something? Can you bring that over and we’ll make a sandwich for this chick? Thanks!

The ESPYS award show airs on ESPN, Sunday July 15, 9 PM ET.

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What the F Happened to Maggie Q?

June 12th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

This is half-Asian actress Maggie Q at the Mission Impossible III premiere, one year ago:

Pretty. Unmistakably Asian. J’adore the freckles.

And this is Maggie from the Live Free or Die Hardererer (which I’ll admit I can’t wait to see) Tokyo premiere a few days ago:



What in Holy Holly Hunter tarnation has happened to this chick?

The freckles are gone. The hair is ORANGE. And she looks about 100 years old.

It may be premature to diagnose this one, but I think we’ve got a nasty case of de-Asianizasian on our hands. We need some anti-Asian face cream for Maggie Q-is-for-Question-Mark, and stat.

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