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In all of my three decades of life, I have never once been skinny.
Now–before you get all up in my grill with the, “Ohmygawd Diana, you’re NOT fat” words of soothing or the “You bitch, don’t talk to me about not being skinny” words of annoyance, please know that I’m not fishing for compliments, nor complaining about my size, nor stating I’ve never been a healthy, normal weight. I’m just saying, I’ve never been skinny.
But Asian girls are supposed to be skinny, right?
That’s like, the Asian girl thing: “Oh gosh, I just eat and eat and eat but I can’t gain any weight.” And “Urggg–they ran out of size zeros.” And “I was the skinniest person on my softball team in high school and I always hated it.” And “I can’t believe it, Yennie and I both hit three-digit weights over the holidays and we almost died!” Slight frames and narrow shoulders and bony hips and knobby knees and protruding ribs and flat asses and tiny breasts and slender thighs and stick arms. It’s our answer to the world’s Amazon legs and blonde waves and sexy curves. We’re skinny, betches.
Well, some of us.
Then there are the rest of us. We are sized 4, 6, 8, 14, 20. Medium and XXL. We do not eat whatever we want. Our clothes don’t “hang” on us. We cannot fathom wearing thigh-high boots. We have learned to like Diet Coke. We see photos of ourselves at weddings and realize that our arms are the same size as our cousins’ legs. We do not get lifted whimsically in the air by men. We have never liked our knees. We walk into an Asian supermall and watch them shake their heads–Your size we do not carry. We have Continue reading AMAZIAN OF THE WEEK! Lisa Lee And Lynn Chen’s “Thick Dumpling Skin”
Filed under: Anorexia, Blogs, Body Image, Community, Eating Disorders, Failure, Fat, Forums, Hardass Asian Grandmas, Healthy Weight, Hyphen, Let's talk about it, Lisa Lee, Lynn Chen, Maggie Q, Skinny Legs, Taboo, The Actor's Diet, Thick Dumpling Skin, Weight, Yunjin Kim
CONGRATULASIANS TO MAGGIE Q!!!
Her show, Nikita, is now the only scripted network show starring a person of color who isn’t in an ensemble! She’s made it through the great white gauntlet! Phhhhhhhheeww.
Well that’s pretty fuckin’ sad, now isn’t it?
During last night’s episode, “The Recruit,” I got so much done: I checked my email 8 times, I accepted an outstanding friend request on Facebook, I wrote on somebody’s wall, I made a couple of online Scrabble moves–no bingos, sadly–I wrote 10 tweets, I bookmarked two websites, I read this ridiculous post about “How Dreadlocks Work,” I checked out Jessica Alba’s Twitter page because Twitter suggested that we follow her, and I read about designer vaginas, or, as I like to call them, “deginas,” which are apparently all the rage in the Czech Republic.
All this is to say that I WAS OUT OF MY MIND BORED WATCHING YOUR SHOW.
I’m not sure how exactly you’ve managed to make reading up on “deginas” more appealing than watching Maggie Q play a vengeful female assassin, but that’s exactly what’s happened.
Since I’m part of that female Vampire Diaries‘ audience the CW’s so keen on retaining, may I suggest you take one cue from your lead-in show?
Filed under: (BO)RED, Asskickers, Badasses, Blowing Your Lead, Boredom, Boring TV, Female Assassins, Helpful Suggestions, La Femme Nikita, Maggie Q, Men Without Shirts, Nikita, Nikita Reboot, Shirtless Men, The CW, The CW Network, Vampire Diaries
Maggie Q, star of the Nikita reboot that premieres tomorrow on the CW, has been named one of Fall TV’s 15 “Fresh Faces” by Entertainment Weekly.
Happy birthday to Maggie Q, who turns 31 on Saturday! This glorious beauty and Q-tie is so sweet in the face we’d consider giving up meat for her. At least for a day or two.
Filed under: Actresses, Beautiful Ladies, Birthdays, Hot Bodies, Maggie Q, Maggie Q Chilis, Maggie Q Naked, Maggie Q PETA ad, Maggie Q Red Lips, Meat, PETA, PETA Asia Pacific, PETA Celebrity Activists, So Qt, Spicy Stuff, Vegetariasians, We're Nice On Your Birthday
Page Six reported today that Brett Fat and Maggie Q are dating. The new couple attended a dinner together honoring documentary cinematographer Albert Maysles last week, where they reportedly got “very cozy” despite the fact that Mags did not understand the words coming out of Brett Fat’s mouth.
Don’t get me started on the ping pong movie, Balls of Fury, that opens this weekend. Honestly, I’m afraid that if I get into it, I will filibuster for days until people come to haul me off and have me committed. So I’ll just let the pictures from its premiere do the talking. Check out George Lopez, a star in the movie, with his wife and daughter on the red carpet:
Maggie Q looks Asian again. She also looks like she’s dying, but, eh, you can’t win ‘em all.
Hey Diana–not only is Maggie Q turning into a white girl, she’s turning into a bobblehead. Didn’t you say you had leftover bread from La Brea Bakery? Sourdough or something? Can you bring that over and we’ll make a sandwich for this chick? Thanks!
The ESPYS award show airs on ESPN, Sunday July 15, 9 PM ET.
This is half-Asian actress Maggie Q at the Mission Impossible III premiere, one year ago:
And this is Maggie from the Live Free or Die Hardererer (which I’ll admit I can’t wait to see) Tokyo premiere a few days ago:
The freckles are gone. The hair is ORANGE. And she looks about 100 years old.
It may be premature to diagnose this one, but I think we’ve got a nasty case of de-Asianizasian on our hands. We need some anti-Asian face cream for Maggie Q-is-for-Question-Mark, and stat.