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Madonna On A Slippery Slope To Priscilla Presley’s Face

September 16th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Enough about Kanye already. Since when did the VMAs become the Nobel Prize ceremony anyway? It’s an awards show for music videos. You know, like really short films for people with even shorter attention spans. The actual awards are called “moonmen.” And did you honestly know who Taylor Swift was before Kanye “took away her moment”? I’ve been seeing her pointy face everywhere for some time without any real idea of who she is. Now I can name one of her songs at least. (I do concur with our Prez, though, that Kanye’s a “jackass.” But enough about that already, too.)

Because what really shocked me at the VMAs was what’s happening to Madonna’s face.

Madonna during her Michael Jackson tribute, and Priscilla Presley, mother-in-law to Michael Jackson for two seconds

Dude. This is a scary slippery slope that does not lead to a good place:


I mean, seriously, Kanye Who?

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What, Madge Worry?

March 10th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHA HAHAHAHAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH HAHAHAHAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH HAHAHAHAHAHAH HAHAHAHA HAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

“I’m doing great, guys! What divorce? What aging? Doing great!

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The Abbey Dawn of a New Sartorial Age

September 15th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Avril Lavigne debuted her new fashion label, Abbey Dawn, in Tokyo this weekend, ripping off paying homage to every major rock and pop icon of the late 20th century. Everything from punk to pop and glam to grunge was sent down the runway in the singer’s first juniors’ collection for Kohl’s.

There was a nod to Sid Vicious:


And to early Madonna:


To Kurt Cobain:


And even to fictional and truly truly truly outrageous riot grrrl Jem:


Then there was this paean to, um, Avril herself:


Hmm. Did I say that she paid homage to “every major rock and pop icon of the late 20th century”? I guess what I meant was that Avril gave big-ups to “…many major rock and pop icons of the late 20th century, and one marginally-talented, tie-wearing random.”

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Madonna to Teach Her Indian Adoptee How to "Go Native"

April 10th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

This week, it was announced that Madonna is planning to adopt another child, this time a baby girl from India. The 49 year-old pop star was reportedly looking to give her Malawian child David a black brother or sister but was put off by the legal troubles she faced during that last adoption process.

Earlier this year, she “began searching for the right baby from the right orphanage with help from her friend, Bollywood choreographer Sandip Soparrkar, who last year became the first single male in India to adopt a child.”

Sources close to the Material Girl have also said that she is “over the moon” about the prospect of teaching India’s native customs to her new daughter, which include throwing her a henna party/baby shower, showing her how to properly apply a bindi and wear a silk sari, and practicing yoga with the little tyke until her arms become ripped like a dude’s.


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David LaChapelle Says Free the Harajuku Girls

September 5th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

The New York Post reported yesterday that photographer/director David LaChapelle will never work again with Madonna, Xtina Aguilera, and…guess who?

A source told the Post, “He hates them…Something weird happened the last time he worked with Gwen [ed. note--like the fact that she had four silent enslaved geishas trailing behind her?], and he has cut her out.”

David–I promise never to call you “LaCrapelle” again. In fact, I think we should be friends.

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You Go, Goil!

March 14th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

It may be apparent to some of you already that I’m a big ol’ fag hag. Even back in the day when I was growing up in Texas, attending a gay-bashing, Jesus-loving, football-obsessed public high school, I gravitated to the gays.

Jason, my best closeted gay back then, and I used to have these Almodovar marathons and watch Truth or Dare, like, 800 times until our asses were bleeding in sympathy for Sharon, Madonna’s dipshit makeup artist. I remember thinking, this is great and all, but is this Depeche Mode-listening, eyeliner-wearing dude going to ask me to prom? Ah, innocence.

Now that it’s 2006, and we’re here, we’re queer, and you’ve gotten used to it, gay men are representing in all my favorite arenas.

First, there’s John Amaechi.


John played 5 seasons in the NBA and is the first openly gay b-ball player. Dude, you are big, black, and sexy. I’m totally buying your memoir, Man in the Middle.

Then, of course, there’s former MLB player Billy Bean.


Not to be confused with Billy Beane, the GM of the Oakland A’s. Although I love to conflate the two, melding Bean’s hotness with Beane’s genius. Smokin’.

And now there’s Thai design sensation Goil Amornvivat, of Bravo’s Top Design.


A Gaysian interior decorator? Hello. Win this thing, Goil, and come redo my house! I love you.

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