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Well, we gotta give Rep. Weiner credit for one thing…
…even his penis (X-rated pic-of-pic for the pervs here) leans to the left.
However, everything else about Weiner’s overexposed weiner (har-dee-har) is pretty damn annoying. Even the fact that we’re still talking about it is annoying. Sorry, guys!
The thing is, we can’t ignore the fact that “Weinergate” and all that it has inspired (like another fifteen minutes for Andrew Breitbart) had no competition this week in terms of disgrace. After all, it’s hard to beat the trifecta of indignant dishonesty/poor social media skills/betrayal of family, agreed?
All we know is that Weiner has one hell of an apology to prepare for his forthcoming first child. We can only imagine that he’ll deliver it the classy way that the publicly shamed do in this day and age–Twitter! Something like:
Although IOHO, he and his fellow public officials should reeeeeally think twice about EVER hitting that “Tweet” button. EVER.
Filed under: Andrew Breitbart, Anthony Weiner, Anthony Weiner Lying To The Press, Anthony Weiner Pregnant Wife, Anthony Weiner's Weiner, Anthony Weiner's wife is way too hot for this, Anthony Weiner'sPenis, Congressmen, Dick Pics, Humiliati, Lying, New York, Rep. Anthony Weiner, Scandals that are more stupid than sexy, Social Media, Weinergate
It was announced today that the International Olympics Committee has stripped China of a bronze medal from the women’s gymnastics team competition at the 2000 Sydney Games. Team member Dong Fangxiao was 14 at the time, making her two years shy of eligibility–and her individual scores contributed to the overall team score, earning them the medal.
The US team, who placed fourth, will now be awarded the bronze medal. All of Dong’s former teammates will be forced to turn in their medals.
I, for one, am… shocked.
But unfortunately–though she’s hardly the one responsible for fudging her age and competing illegally–she, for one, is scrrreeewwwed. If I were her, I would keep my eyes peeled for any approaching tiny females. Eep!
Filed under: 2000 Olympics, Body Oil, Bronze Medal, Cheating, China, Disgrace by Disqualificasian, Dong Fangxiao, Dong Fangxiao Disqualified For Being Underage, Fudging Your Age, Gymnasts Underage, International Olympics Committee, IOC, Lying, Sydney Games, the Olympics, Your Judges Lied And Now You Shall Be Jumped By Your Former Teammates
The final showdown of MTV’s red cup-fest A Shot At Love With Tila Tequila goes down next week, and blogs across America are wildly abuzz: WHICH LOVER WILL TILA CHOOSE??
Will it be…
either way,we can’t believe they both still care and/or don’t have
managed to escape Tila’s embrace without an onslaught of V.D.
WHO WILL IT BE? WHO WILL IT BE? WHO WILL IT BE?
Oh who are we kidding? We don’t care. Nay, we don’t give a shit.
As we’ve maintained from the beginning, Tila is a poseur, fame whore, and most importantly, a homisogynasian drive-bi. We’ve never bought her bi-curiosity, only been amazed by her ability to turn a cache of zzzZzZztitillating web cam videos of herself sharing brisk kisses with gal pals into a much-discussed multi-episode reality series. Entrepreneurial? Sure. Bisexual? Not on your life.
Sure, people may have thought we were just hating on the short little trollop, ’cause we were jealous or somethin’. That was, of course, until Page Six chimed in–albeit eight episodes too late. As they report, an inside source says Tila has a boyfriend, and the sexy sexual curiosity thing has all just been a sham all along! Wow! Shocker!
That’s funny, she didn’t seem to mention any boyfriend when she was on Tyra Banks’ talk show, gushing vaguely and unconvincingly about how she’s been sneaking around “like [in] a movie” with the winner of the show–oops, we mean, the winner of her love–since they wrapped.
It all makes us wonder if the trifecta (secret boyfriend, show winner, and the drive-bi) are all involved in A Shot At Love’s second season, which has apparently been in motion since October.
After all the excitement of this fake season, one can only hope so. Can we make just one brilliant suggestion: ORGY PARTY!!!! WE’LL BRING THE RED CUPS.
Cuz I’m pretty sure we said loud and clear–nearly two months ago–that Tila “Drive-Bi” Tequila’s ratty old bisexuality ploy was a scam.
LOUD AND CLEAR.
What, with our millions of devoted daily readers and the simplicity of our LOUD AND CLEAR articulation, the world should have heard the truth right away–Tequila is a played, midget faker–and just let her go, like we always thought they should. She’s boring Reality TV, and that says something. Moreover, she’s a disgrace to Asians, to short people, and people of every sexual orientasian.
She’s also a disgrace to liars, because we called her out from a mile away. Wow, what a low.
Anyway, we think it’s pretty frickin’ bizarre that Page Six has the audacity to think they busted Tila’s shit last week with this zzZZzZzzzjuicy itemzzZZZzzZZzzzzz:
SELF-proclaimed bisexual MTV skank Tila Tequila may actually be straight as an arrow. The gay-for-pay bikini babe stars in a “A Shot at Love With Tila Tequila,” about her search for the perfect mate – male or female. But it’s “all a sham,” says a source close to the show. “Tila has and has had a boyfriend for over a year, and she’s not really bi. She’s made out with some girls in her past, as all girls have, but she is not bi at all.” Our insider claims that MTV works hard to pretend she’s single and available because she refuses to break up with her boyfriend, “who’s like five years older than her. This is a massive scam . . . That’s why they are not continuing with the show [for a second season], because she won’t dump him.” Tequila has also been acting like “a diva” and become a “nightmare to work with,” said the source. “She arrives late and doesn’t talk to any of the contestants between takes. She complains she has too much going on.” A rep for Tequila said, “I’ll confirm that she’s bisexual and she’s a delight to work with.”
Uh, sounds vaguely familiar. zzZZzZZzzRichard JohnsonzZzZZZzz, have you lost your touch? Because not only is your steez sooooooo two months ago, but you are clearly not reading our blog and apparently don’t know that homies that don’t Reco-nize betta watch their back. If you know what I mean. Hope this is loud and clear: YO, RICHARD JOHNSON. GIVE DISGRASIAN OUR DUE PROPS OR WATCH YOUR FAT, OLD BACK.
Norman Hsu’s spokesperson has finally talked publicly about Hsu running away via Amtrak train when he was supposed to appear at his court date two weeks ago. As it turns, out, Hsu had no intentions to run. He was “confused.”
His spokesman, Jason Booth, said Hsu intended to appear for his Sept. 5 court date in California and may have thought he was boarding a Bay Area Rapid Transit train when he instead caught an Amtrak train heading out of the state.
“That’s what appears to be how it happened,” said Booth, who was in Colorado on Tuesday on the eve of a court hearing at which Hsu was expected to waive extradition, officially ending his 15-year run from California authorities. “He was disoriented at the time. … We believe he suffered a psychological, mental or physical breakdown. How that was caused I don’t know. I’m not a doctor.”
I’m not buying it. It’s all lies.
And I’ll tell you why. Not just because it’s a preposterous, lame, shitty excuse (even though it is), but because it just sounds so incredibly un-Asian. Booth clearly does not understand Asian people.
First off, Hsu is not crazy. Asians are the last people on earth who’d admit that they’re crazy (hello, Kenneth Eng?). While this is NOT A GOOD THING, and we would love for every mentally-ill member of the tribe to cut the bullshit denial and get help, Hsu suddenly having a mental breakdown when he’s got a date with justice seems a wee bit too convenient. Crazian? Hell no, we know from Crazians. Booth made that shit up.
Also, Asians don’t get confused. That’s one of those ridiculous MAD TV-style stereotypes that always kinda gets my goat. In real life, we always know what we’re doing. Seriously. Sometimes it’s sinister, sometimes it’s science. But we always know what we’re doing.
Most importantly, if Booth had any–ANY–inkling of knowledge as to how Asian people operate, he would know that both phrases: “I don’t know” and “I’m not a doctor” are like kisses of death. My own ears even bled a little as I watched him say it, this morning on CNN.
Booth should definitely, definitely not be speaking for an Asian man. And lying for one at that. I see right through that shit.