You are currently browsing posts tagged with Lucy Liu
File Under Totally Gratuitous: Lucy Liu Nude Pics! [NSFW]
Nerve.com has, ahem, uncovered some old Lucy Liu nude pics.
They don’t know when they were taken or what for, but like you care.
See the whole gallery here.
[Nerve: Lucy Liu Nude Photos Resurface]
Filed under: Actresses, Asian American Actresses, Boobs, Charlie's Angels, Lucy Liu, Lucy Liu Naked, Lucy Liu Nude, Nerve Dot Com, Nipples, Nude Boobs, Posing Nude
Great Liu-mon Taste!
40 year-old Lucy Liu graces the April cover of Vogue China, looking oddly like a can of Sprite.
A very young-looking, cheekbone-riffic, pretty…can of Sprite.
Filed under: Anti-Agin' Asian, April 2009 Vogue China Lucy Liu, Fashism, Great Lymon Taste, Lucy Liu, Sprite Soda, Vogue China, Vogue is French for Ugly
Stayin’ Alive
I have a newfound respect for ladies that can look fabulous and awake after midnight. This is not an easy thing to do, which is something I realized last night at 12:30am, as Jen and I tried to layer on makeup in order to look bright-eyed and bushy tailed for the lens. It didn’t work, really. We looked beat–’cuz we were beat–and nothing short of a bucket of eye drops, two-hour power nap, or rail of coke could possibly have gotten our engines running at that point. Unfortunately, we didn’t have any of those at our fingertips, so we just settled for looking kinda made-up and beat.
So I’ve made a vow. I’m never having my image documented at night, ever again. And one more thing, I’m gonna have to give a certain Miss Lucy Liu mad props, because this…
Leaving Patricia Field’s birthday party on Feb. 15…is the first photo I’ve ever seen of the woman (thinking back on over a decade of snaps) in which she’s looked even remotely tired, instead of perfect and fresh. And despite the slightly tired eyes, she still looks fucking glorious and hot.
BITCH!
Filed under: Beautiful Ladies, Documentasian, Looking Beat, Lucy Liu, Mad Props, Midnight to Midnight, Photogenic Peeps, The Camera is Cruel, Tired People
ROCK OF ASIAN: The RZA’s "Afro Samurai" Soundtrack, Volume II
Fans of the series Afro Samurai (the domestic interpretasian of the original Japanese manga series on Spike, that is) will be glad to know that another round is right on the horizon. Afro Samurai: Resurrection, the series’ film sequel, will debut on January 25 and feature the returning voice of lead Samuel L. Jackson, accompanied, among others, by Lucy Liu and Mark Hamill.
Perhaps more importantly, though, is the additional return of Afro Samurai’s music maker–soundtrack master The RZA. Few have mastered the art of Blasian Fusion quite like The RZA, and the veteran composer/producer was given total creative control on this project, as he told HipHopDX. Given carte blanche, he could very well have created his life’s greatest musical achievement! We suppose there’s only one way to find out…
Want a taste? View the trailer:
Source Source Source Source Source
Filed under: Afro Samurai: Resurrection, Awesome Soundtracks, Blasian Fusion, Lucy Liu, Manga, Mark Hamill, RZA, Samuel L. Jackson, Spike TV, Wu-Tang Forever
AMAZIAN OF THE WEEK! Phymean Noun
Name: Phymean Noun
Hails from: Phnom Penh, Cambodia
Known for: Seeing a disgraceful situation and doing something to make it better. When Noun realized how many children were scavenging through her city’s trash dumps just to survive, she quit her job and started the People Improvement Organization to provide the area’s underprivileged kids with a free education–fronting $30k her own money to build the first school.
The humble Noun was honored at last week’s CNN Heroes Awards, and even though we were momentarily distracted by her presenter Lucy Liu’s bad teleprompter reading and ill-fitting dress, our icy hearts warmed to flooding tears from the inspirasian of her story. If only we could all give so much!
Find out more about the PIO here.
Filed under: Cambodia, Children, CNN, CNN Heroes Awards, Educasian, Every Little Bit Helps, Lucy Liu, People Improvement Organization, Philanthropy, Phymean Noun, Ugly Dresses
Ripping on Marisa Tomei-sian
Hollywood actresses! Past, present, and never:
Marisa Tomei, Lucy Liu, and Nicole Richieat Wednesday’s Alberta Ferreti store opening
LUCY: Wait–dammit. They’re taking a picture? Everyone will think I know you people.
NICOLE: You know us. Remember that one night we stayed up doing tequila shots, talking shit about Rachel Zoe?
MARISA: I know Rachel Zoe.
LUCY: No you don’t.
MARISA: Yes I do! I think I met her right after I won [dips head and deepens voice in seriousness] my Oscar.
NICOLE: Wow! You won an Oscar? Wow. That’s really hot. I didn’t know that.
MARISA: Everybody knows that. Didn’t you see My Cousin Vinny?
NICOLE: That’s the movie with the bad guy from Home Alone, right? I think I saw that on TBS the other day.
MARISA: Ahem. I won the Academy Award for my role as [pauses] Mona Lisa Vito. For [raises eyebrows] Best Supporting Actress.
LUCY: [rolls eyes] Uh huh.
NICOLE: Rad. When was that, or whatever?
MARISA: Feels like yesterday. Maybe it was 2000 or 2001.
LUCY: [snorts] It was 1992.
MARISA: [snaps] In 1992, you were still doing bit parts on TV dramas.
LUCY: At least people don’t speculate as to whether or not my getting those bit parts was an accident, you old hag.
MARISA: (miffed) I WON FAIR AND SQUARE.
NICOLE: Who did you wear?
MARISA: [to Lucy] You’re a real bitch, you know that?
LUCY: Yes. That’s why I play one so often in movies and TV shows.
NICOLE: God, I need to get back on TV again. I hate being at home and remembering that I procreated with a Madden twin. I hate all this baby holding bullshit. I hate having tits.
LUCY: Love those bubs while you can, Nic–they’re going to be all deflated and saggy when you get to be like ol’ grandma over here.
MARISA: I AM NOT A GRANDMA!
LUCY: Really? Then why are you borrowing my grandma’s look?
NICOLE: Oh, shit!
MARISA: I’ll kill you!
LUCY: Don’t even start. I’ll cut you.
MARISA: [whimpers]
NICOLE: Wow. Are you guys, like, acting?
LUCY: Somebody take this goddamn picture before I cut somebody else.
Filed under: Bad Actors, Bitch Fights, Celebutards, Don't Fuck With The Ice Queen, Has-Beens, Lucy Liu, Marisa Tomei, Marisa Tomei Sucks Ass, Nicole Richie, The Academy Awards
Olympic Winners and Liu-sers
I can just see the editorial meeting at Harper’s Bazaar:
Editor-in-Chief Jamie Huckbody tells one of the underlings that this summer is “all about the Olympics.” The staffers buzz with creative worry and focus.
“The Olympics are so hot right now.”
“But the Games are so controversial. It’s that whole China thing.”
“They’re in Beijing right now? What’s Beijing couture? Is everything silk? Silk, silk, silk!”
“No seriously. Steven Spielberg isn’t even going.”
“We need something that’s like China-America fusion. China-American unity! Like PF Changs!”
“I love that. I love that!”
“I’VE GOT IT.”
And so we have…
Hunh. I always knew “fusion” was a bad word. Take that, Miles Davis.
Source
Thanks, Jasmine!
Filed under: "Fusion" Is Almost Always A Bad Idea, Bad Concepts, Beijing, China, Controversy, Harper's Bazaar, Idiotic Photo Spreads, Lucy Liu, Miles Davis, the Olympics
What’s Wrong with This Pandure?
There are several things wrong with this picture. For one, there are two people on this stage (okay, one person and one bear) who need to sign up for Jenny Craig, stat. And, of course, there is more of that unfunny white man’s kung fu that I’m too bored by to delve into. Because I’m really more disturbed by the fact that Lucy Liu is wearing black tights in the middle of summer. This photo was taken yesterday at a Kung Fu Panda press conference in Tokyo, where temperatures reached a high of 86 degrees. Now, in general, black tights are God’s gift to women. They are warm, they are slimming, they allow you to wear obscene minis without looking like a hooker. They make virtually everyone look like they’ve got legs and they know how to use them, even if what’s lurking underneath those tights resembles a vat of old cottage cheese. But black-tights-in-summer are something else entirely. Black-tights-in-summer say, “I haven’t yet shed my winter weight.” They say, “This dress is microscopic, but my thighs aren’t.” They say, “I feel fat, but I want to wear this little sparkly number dammit.” And if Lucy Liu–of all teensy people– thinks that she has to wear black-tights-in-summer to pull off that dress because she’s still carrying around her winter weight, when she’s taking a picture next to a fat bear and, well, another fat bear, then we’re going to have to start sending her many more concerned letters.
Source
Thanks, Jasmine!
Filed under: Black Tights in Summer, Don't Get Me Started on Kung Fu Panda, Fat Bears, Jack Black, Jenny Craig, Lucy Liu, Winter Weight
Dear Lucy, Third Time’s a Charm
Dear Lucy,
What’s up? I know you’ve been getting some correspondence from my friend Jen, and that she declared a semi-official moratorium on “Lucy digs” on DISGRASIAN because we admittedly like you a lot.
But I’ve gotta know… what is it with people like you that make it impossible to honor such moratoriums? It’s like that song by Air, “You Make It Easy”–much too easy, what with the godawful movie choices (Lesbian vampires, why??) and the even worse, incessant sartorial mistakes.
Let’s talk about this. I need you to tell me how I can look at you at the Japanese Kung Fu Panda premiere in the silky representation of Mrs. Claus’s snowy-white, flappy, old-lady labia and not write to you in inquiry. Why would you wear such a thing, WHY? Why would you belt this disastrous frock with one of Dita Von Teese’s throwaways? Why would you possibly choose the one hemline and shoe combo that could make you–such a tiny lass–look like you’re storing extra flesh on their hips for the winter? You aren’t going on some survival mission in Siberia, are you? See? Now I’ve got questions upon questions. This is what you DO to me!
At least we care, right? Now go change yer clothes, and then make a good movie.
Love…?
Diana
Filed under: Don't Get Me Started on Kung Fu Panda, L is for Labia, Letters of Concern, Lucy Liu, Misguided Sartorial Fantasies, Mrs. Claus, Ugly Dresses, We Can't Stop Hating Cuz You Won't Stop Sucking
Dear Lucy, Part Tiu
Dear Lucy,
Hey lady! ‘Memba me? I’ve written you before. Perhaps my blog post/letter got lost in the cyberether/mailroom? No matter. The gist of what I said then hasn’t changed.
Today, I heard that you really want to do Charlie’s Angels 3. You were quoted as saying:
“I do (see Diaz and Barrymore). All the time. I’d love to do another Charlie’s Angels film. That would be so much fun.”
I couldn’t help thinking that the subtext/translasian of that was:
“Are you there, Cam? Drew? It’s me, Lucy. My show got canceled. I’m staring down the barrel of 40. Yes, there’s a gun in my mouth. “
We know we’re hard on you. You’ve been the object of our haterasian countless times, but, really, it’s cuz we love you. We actually love your freckles, those slightly-crossed eyes, that midgety body. Yeah, we’re fucked up like that. But you see, Luce, you’re our Obi-Wan. You’re our only hope. When people think “Asian actress” and “movies,” there’s–like that Yaz song–only you. It’s kinda unfair to have those gigantic expectations heaped on your teensy shoulders but, then again, you’re Asian and expectations are your little bitch. And, as my Hardass Asian Mother would say when whiny shit comes out of my mouth like “I don’t think I can handle it”: Handelit! Handelit!
So, please, for the love of your people, MAKE A GOOD MOVIE. I’m not really buying that your problem is that age-old issue of “Asian actors can’t get good roles in Hollywood” blah blah blah. Like I said before, go small. Do an indie. Self-finance if you have to. Fuck Angels, yo, why not do a Monster? Or a Monster’s Ball? Ditch the makeup and heels. Stop playing characters with their shit together–hard as that may be for an overachiever like yourself. Learn how to cry copiously on cue. Be weak. Take a role that requires you to wear at all times a sad, ugly, old, nubby, clawed-up sweater, the kind that is not made of 24-ply cashmere. I’m going to put one on now, in fact, though it’s the middle of summer, because having this conversasian again kinda depresses the hell outta me.
with tough but tired love,
Jen
Source
Thanks, Jasmine!
Filed under: A Moratorium on Lucy Liu Digs... For Now, Bad Movie Choices, Cameron Diaz, Charlie's Angels, Desperasian, Drew Barrymore, Go Small, Indie Movies, Lucy Liu, Sad Sweaters, Tough Love
Kung-Fu Pander
Dustin Hoffman, Angelina Jolie, Lucy Liu, and Jack Blackat the Cannes Film Festival Premiere of ‘Kung Fu Panda’
DUSTIN HOFFMAN: I’m bored.
ANGELINA JOLIE: I’m pregnant.
LUCY LIU: I’m one-note.
JACK BLACK: I’m WACKY!
DUSTIN HOFFMAN: I’m kind of having an existential crisis right now.
ANGELINA JOLIE: Y’know, having children really helps with that.
LUCY LIU: [clears throat] Ahem, excuse me, Angie.
ANGELINA JOLIE: Hmm? What’s up?
LUCY LIU: You and Fat Belly 2 are blocking my birthing hips–I mean my dress.
ANGELINA JOLIE: Excuse me?
LUCY LIU: Nothing. Nothing. Only YOU get to me mom-lady. Fine. FINE. I’ll just stand over here and be nobody. Y’know what, just drop it okay? We’ll talk about it later.
ANGELINA JOLIE: No, drop what? What are you talking about?
JACK BLACK: I’m FUNNY!
DUSTIN HOFFMAN: I’m old.
LUCY LIU: I wanna get out of here.
ANGELINA JOLIE: Umm, hi, irrelevant TV star? What are you trying to say?
LUCY LIU: Nothing. NOTHING! Urg. Fine… This is my problem with you. I thought we were both on the bitch train to fame.
ANGELINA JOLIE: What bitch train? What is that?
LUCY LIU: We were hot sexy bitches. That was going to make us huge. And then you became Mother Teresa, while I became a lesbian vampire. And now I do mostly television.
ANGELINA JOLIE: Is that somehow my fault?
LUCY LIU: I feel like it must be. You bailed! What ever happened to the sex siren? I thought being a sex siren was in!
JACK BLACK: I think sex is in. Way in. And out. And in. And out.
DUSTIN HOFFMAN: I’m rich.
ANGELINA JOLIE: I’m sure it is, but I’ve got, like, fourteen kids now. Being a humanitarian is kinda more where things are going these days.
LUCY LIU: I have a dog.
JACK BLACK: I love dogs.
DUSTIN HOFFMAN: I’m a dog.
ANGELINA JOLIE: See? You have a dog. That’s a start. Next you’ll be recycling. Then, you’ll be visiting villages in Rwanda.
LUCY LIU: Do I have to touch dirty people?
ANGELINA JOLIE: Yes.
LUCY LIU: [sighs]
ANGELINA JOLIE: It’s fun, though. And while you’re at it, you buy some pots, some scarves, some babies. And soon, you’ll be me!
LUCY LIU: You really think so?
JACK BLACK: I don’t think I”ll mind, as long as you have those tatas too.
DUSTIN HOFFMAN: I’m confused.
ANGELINA JOLIE: Me too.
LUCY LIU: Me too.
JACK BLACK: KUNG FU PANDA!!!
Filed under: Angelina Jolie, Don't Get Me Started on Kung Fu Panda, Dustin Hoffman, Humanitarian Missions, Jack Black, Lesbian Vampires, Lucy Liu, Mother Teresa, Movie Stars, Rwanda
Lucy Matters
Lucy Liu recently spoke with The Associated Press about wanting her work to actually matter. A few highlights from the interview:
LUCY: It was never a goal to be out of television or in television.
TRANSLASIAN: If McG or Tarantino aren’t calling, my film career consists of awkward romantic pairings, failed comedy attempts, and lesbian vampire love scenes. At least on TV, people embrace my inability to step out of my modus operandi–that is, my inability to act as anything but a gorgeous, stone-faced, icy bitch.
LUCY: I love doing action movies, I love kung fu, but that doesn’t express who I am as an artist. What about the acting part of it? There’s no green screen in this. It’s just bare-bones work.
TRANSLASIAN: I am tired of people telling me that my Kill Bill performance was my best work, because I barely spoke and soon enough, I was dead. Oh lawdy, I hate my career.
LUCY: [Considering the notion of "having it all] –It’s all very confusing because I think what you want changes.
TRANSLASIAN: Everyone in TV keeps reminding me that after I left Ally McBeal, I yelled, “I’m moving on to films, muthafuckas!!!” while giving them all the finger. Now I kinda wish I’d never done that.
LUCY: What’s happening now with the strike is incredibly important, and sometimes it leads to better things even though there’s going to be a lot of sacrifices in the meantime.
TRANSLASIAN: Oh my God, this Cashmere Mafia show I’m on is so fucking stupid. I’m never going be Carrie Bradshaw and I know it. Why did my agent let me take this job? It is so humiliating. Darren Star, Shmarren Star. These idiots I’m working with wouldn’t know a brilliant scene from a paper bag. I can’t believe it–this series will completely obliterate what’s left of my career, nail in the coffin and all that. I am having a total fucking panic attack. Thank bejeezus for the writers’ strike. I hope upon hope that this show gets canned before another human being lays eyes on it. Can somebody please dial up McG for me?
Filed under: Bad Career Choices, Bad Television, Cashmere Mafia, Kill Bill, Lucy Liu, McG, Quentin Tarantino, Ruh-Roh
