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If you are one of the people that thought last year was UH-MAZING, and was sad to see it go as the clock ticked down to midnight on December 31, you are a very special human being. You should also go kick yourself in the shins–2009 was a stinker for most of us, and your joy just makes people mad.
Okay, look. At least this happened:
But so did this:
Reuters has reported that a 77 year-old Chinese woman recently discovered a bullet that has been lodged in her head for 64 years. It is believed to be a remnant from when she was shot by Japanese soldiers during World War II.
“Jin Guangying, now 77, lost consciousness after a Japanese patrol in Jiangsu province fired on her in 1943 as she went to meet her grandfather, a guerrilla fighter, the Beijing News said.
‘When she came to, her head was wrapped in a bandage and she never realized there was a bullet lodged deep in her head,’ the paper said.
Later, she would regularly have headaches, foam at the mouth and ‘talk nonsense… like she had gone mad,’ the paper said.
Jin’s family had thought her symptoms were due to a tumor, the paper said, quoting Wang Zhengping, the woman’s daughter.
‘Because our family was poor, we were never able to have her taken for a thorough check-up,’ Wang said.”
Nothing funny about this–what a sad reminder of some of our darkest, most DISGRASIAN days.
Sanjaya Malakar recently told E! Online that his intent to sing Janis Joplin’s Mercedes Benz during the American Idol “country” competition was snuffed, due to the fact that Idol is sponsored by Ford.
All I can say is: thank god. If Malakar had uttered one note of that brilliant woman’s folk classic… I would have shaved my hair, tattooed “I give the fuck up” across my face, and vomited jelly beans all over myself in my sleep.
So thank you, Ford. Thank you.