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Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior: Because Their Daughters Get Into Harvard, That’s Why

April 1st, 2011 | 2 comments | Posted by Jen

For those of you eagerly awaiting a very public failure from one of Tiger Mom Amy Chua’s prodigy offspring–like a crack cocaine bender or half-naked photos leaked onto the Internet–so that you can feel better about your own parenting-style/feel better about the lax way in which you were parented/feel better about the strict way in which you were parented that weirdly didn’t yield the same sort of results/feel better about the fact that “the Chinese way” isn’t better therefore you don’t have to confront your diminishing place in the global power structure/oh hell, just feel better about yourself in general…

Um, better luck next year?

Because this year, Chua’s Number One Daughter, Sophia (pictured), has been accepted to Harvard–Chua’s alma mater and where she and her invisible husband, Jed Rubenfeld, received their law degrees–despite the fact that the university took only 6.2 percent of its undergraduate applicants for the Class of 2015, which was the lowest admissions rate of all the Ivies. And according to Above the Law, Sophia has already decided to matriculate there as well.

But hey, there’s still time for Lulu–Chua’s Number Two Daughter who teaches her Tiger Continue reading Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior: Because Their Daughters Get Into Harvard, That’s Why

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May 1st, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Dear Roger,



Hmm. That’s not making things any better. Cuz any way you slice it–sex with a 15 year-old, “friendship” with a 15 year-old–still doesn’t explain why a grown man is hanging with a 15 year-old.

Oh, and another thing…

Eww. Eww Eww Eww. Ewwwwwwwwwwwww.

here’s to your sinking ballz,

(Roger Clemens pictured with wife Debbie, from the 2003 Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue, before which she was allegedly injected with HGH at his request)


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R.I.P. Hilly Kristal and CBGB

August 29th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

We are saddened to hear that Honorasian Hilly Krystal, punk-rock legend and founder of legendary rock club CBGB, has passed away due to lung cancer complications at 75. His pioneering legacy and the incredible bands he helped elevate are among the things that survive him. Incidentally, CBGB closed its doors permanently less than a year ago.

This makes us want to shut our bedroom door, cue up Television’s Marquee Moon, bawl our eyes out, and quietly put out our cigarettes.


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June 19th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

BREAKING NEWS!!! reports:

HIALEAH, Fla. — A teenager with a brown belt in karate used a samurai sword to scare off a burglar who was after his PlayStation 3 video game console…

…According to a police report, one of the burglars kicked in [the] bedroom door…

The burglar found the empty PlayStation 3 box and ran out of the room, but Damian was waiting for him.

“Once I saw him take off running back, I jumped off my (bunk) bed and I grabbed my sword … and I just waited for him,” he said.

Damian said he lunged at him with his samurai sword, striking him in the chest.

“He freaked out,” Damian said.

Somewhere in a Japanese grave, a self-expired Samurai is rolling over, moaning “First Tom Cruise, now this??”


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Oh Azia I Hate to Say Goodbye

May 29th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen
Palo Alto, we have a problem

The LA Times reported this weekend on 18 year-old Azia Kim, who faked being a Stanford freshman and lived in a dorm for eight months before getting caught last week. Kim was booted from the school she never got into last Monday.

She ate in the dining hall and seemed to do her homework, often working late into the night on school papers. She told people she was a human biology major and talked about her upcoming exams.

Huy Nguyen, who just finished his first year at Harvard, had this to say about his former high school-classmate:

“She’s a brilliant person even though she didn’t get into the Ivy League.”

The Stanford Daily, a student newspaper, also reported this detail:

She lived in Okada, the Asian-American theme dorm, until Monday night, when University staff finally caught onto her ruse.

Some of Kim’s fake classmates said they were “freaked…out” and that they were hoping “she gets help.”

Those future-Pulitzer-winning whippersnappers at The Stanford Daily revealed today that Kim had also duped ROTC into thinking she was a Stanford student, although her motives for lying were less clear since she did not receive monetary compensation from ROTzi. The story suggests that Kim might have been lonely. The Daily also scored a picture of her in uniform.

Azia Kim, on right

Oh boy. This one’s a doozy. Where to begin?

Let’s start with the silly stuff. Kim was hiding out in an “Asian-American theme dorm”? What, pray, is an Asian-American theme dorm? Do they have, like, sushi and Asahi nights and kimchi parties? Or is that just a way to ‘splain a bunch of Asians living together?

On to Kim’s fake classmates. Okay, you were duped. Sure, she took advantage of you, sleeping on empty beds and fake-studying on ratty student-lounge couches that your parents paid good money for. And now you’re “freaked.” I had a college roommate who stole shit–and weird shit, like scissors and lipstick–from me, and that sucked. But GET OVER IT. I’m pretty sure getting shit-faced at a frat party will heal your pain.

Finally, I just want to say that this story breaks my heart. Kim’s desperation to attend an elite college crushes me. She probably needs Lexapro and Klonopin and some good, old-fashioned talk therapy, i.e. “help,” but mostly in order to live down the shame of 1) not getting into a great college, 2) her own unreasonably high self-expectations and I would venture to guess, her parents’, 3) the schadenfreude now exhibited by some of her dupees (“We’ve got Stanford, yes we do, we’ve got Stanford, how about…YOU?”), and 4) attempting to subvert a system that is already corrupt (um, legacies anyone?), in an ingenious, intelligent, albeit self-serving way that would be rewarded almost anywhere else in the world except the ivory tower. The academy hates cheaters, end of story.

But Azia Kim, look on the bright side. Finish school wherever–elite colleges are overrated anyway, trust me–and get on with your life. Life is long, girlfriend. In so many vocations–Hollywood, Wall Street, law, government–your skill set is invaluable. Kick ass where your talents will be appreciated and you won’t have to hide. Oh, and…Fuck Stanford.

Click here for LA Times story.
Click here for Stanford Daily story #1.
And here for Stanford Daily story #2.

Source Source

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