DISGRASIAN™

Unicorns Really Do Exist (And They’re Asian)

First the good news: Unicorns do exist!  And they’re Asian!

Now the bad: The so-called “Asian Unicorn” actually has two horns.

But back to the good news: An “Asian Unicorn”–an animal that was only discovered in 1992, hasn’t been photographed since 1999, and is listed as critically endangered–was sighted and captured last month in Laos!

Now again with the bad: The poor little guy (pictured below) died a few days later, “weakened by the ordeal in captivity,” according to local authorities.

The moral of this story?

Dreams really do come true!

Continue reading Unicorns Really Do Exist (And They’re Asian)

Filed under: Asian Unicorn Has Two Horns, Dreamkillers, Dreams, Laos, Rare Asian Unicorn, Rare Asian Unicorn Dies in Captivity, That's Bad Math, Unicorn In Search of a Rainbow, Unicorns

A Prayer To Mother Nature For Our Kinfolk In Asia

Dear Mother Nature,

First you flood the Philippines, where the homes of over 2 million people have been affected and 246 people have been reported dead so far. Then you unleash an undersea earthquake that turns into a tsunami on the Samoa Islands, killing dozens. After that, you take the same storm that menaced the Philippines, and move it over Laos and then Vietnam, where 170,000 homes have been damaged and 41 have been reported dead at last count. Still hell-bent on destruction, you then toss in another earthquake Wednesday–with a magnitude of 7.6–in Indonesia, near Padang, the capital city of West Sumatra, that claims 75 lives.

From the Philippines (Reuters)

From Padang, Indonesia (Reuters)

Lady, WTF? What did Asia ever do to you? Sleep with your fella, Father Time?!

Amidst all of this apocalyptic disaster, we did notice one tiny shred of good news:

No harm has come to the 20th season of Survivor? PHEW. Let no one say Mother Nature is without mercy!

On that note, do you think you could find room in your heart for a little more of that and, like, TAKE A FUCKING CHILL PILL?

How do you end a prayer to Mother Nature? Amen? Gaia be with me? LYLAS? Anyway…

yours sincerely,

DISGRASIAN

Filed under: Disasters, Indonesia, Ketsana, Laos, Mother Nature Is a Bitch, Natural Disasters Asia, Ondoy, Padang, Samoa Islands, the Philippines, Tsunami, Vietnam