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Tiger Publicly Apologizes For Cheating, Athletes Everywhere Groan

February 19th, 2010 | 7 comments | Posted by Jen

Tiger Woods apologized today, ushering in a bizarre new era where professional athletes ask forgiveness for cheating on their wives not only from their wives but from the general public.

(Somewhere, Charles Barkley is driving his SUV drunk on the way to a blowjob, marveling at his own genius.)

To recap, Tiger said he:

  • has a lot to atone for
  • doesn’t get to play by different rules
  • brought shame to his family
  • wants to live a life of integrity
  • will become a better person by returning to Buddhism and by seeking more treatment and therapy

If that fails, Tiger can always tape this picture of his mother Kultida from the press conference (at the 6:00 mark) to a mirror, to scare his ass straight:

Continue reading Tiger Publicly Apologizes For Cheating, Athletes Everywhere Groan

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