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Huh? Meredith Vieira Calls Kristi Yamaguchi A “Hoochie”
Dear Meredith Vieira,
Kristi Yamaguchi is a lot of things. An Olympic gold medalist. A mother. The season 6 winner of perhaps the most squeaky-clean show on television this side of Lawrence Welk, Dancing With the Stars. The daughter of a dentist. She is, at once, both a paragon of achievement and of normalcy, which makes her, like, super-Asian. That is why, to many of us, Kristi Yamaguchi is something of a national treasure.
She is not, however, by any stretch of the imagination, a “hoochie.” As interesting as it might be to think of Kristi having some secret life as a slutty hot mess, that skate just doesn’t fit. That’s like calling you, I dunno, a “hard-hitting reporter”?
Peace Out,
Jen
[via The Daily Beast]
Filed under: 2010 Winter Olympics, Asian Athletes, Dancing With the Stars, Gold Medalists, Hard-Hitting Journalists, Hoochie Mamas, Hoochies, Japanese-Americans, Kristi Yamaguchi, Meredith Vieira, National Treasures, Olympians, So-Called Journalists
Congratulasians, Kristi Yamaguchi
Kudos to Kristi Yamaguchi for winning Dancing with the Stars last night!
And now, a word from Kristi’s parents, Carole and Jim Yamaguchi:
CAROLE: Well, that was nice.
JIM: Yes, our daughter did very well tonight. Although I noticed that she was a little out of sync during that jive routine. But, all in all, she was nearly perfect.
CAROLE: I completely agree. She was almost perfect.
JIM: Quite close to perfect.
CAROLE: Just shy of perfect.
JIM: A hair away from perfect.
CAROLE: Perfect by most standards.
JIM: As perfect as humanly possible.
CAROLE: Perfect according to the judges.
JIM: True, true. Her final scores were indisputably perfect.
Long, awkward silence.
CAROLE: Well, this night was pretty much perfect, don’t you think?
JIM: I completely agree. Tonight was about as perfect as it gets.
Source: YouTube
Filed under: Dancing With the Stars, Expectasians, Hardass Asian Parents, Kristi Yamaguchi, Perfection, Winners
Everybody Loathes A Winner
You have to love Kristi Yamaguchi, for being so freakin’ excellent every single week on Dancing With the Stars. So good, in fact, that she’s apparently bored the bejeezus out of everybody watching. Should she win? Totally. Will she win? Totally. So where’s the suspense? Just cut to next season on The Surreal Life –her with the chyron, “Former Dancing With the Stars Champion“–and let’s call it a day.
Yamaguchi reminds me of one of those kids that wins some award every year for having the highest GPA until the day they become valedictorian and everyone sleeps through their boring graduation ceremony speech. No thrills, just excellence.
But nobody ever tries to throw a sexist spin on the race for valedictorian. Today, I actually read this story head on CNN.com:
Good lord. When journalists get bored, they really get bored.
Filed under: Boredom, Dancing With the Stars, Everybody's Just Jealous, Excelling, Kristi Yamaguchi, Sexist Spin is so '08, Valedictorians, Winners
No Rest for the Asian
As we mentioned last week, Kristi Yamaguchi has been leading the pack of this season’s Dancing With the Stars cast since they burst out of the gate.
This week marks the third in which Yamaguchi rocked a score of triple nines, an impressive display that allows her to hold on to her lead for both the episode and the current overall. I dunno about you, but I’d be patting myself on the back–gently but repeatedly–for such stellar scores right about now.
…But we all know that an A-minus average isn’t enough for the gold medalist, right? Here’s her take:
“‘I’m still kind of racking my brain, but I think I definitely need to take it to another level emotionally and within my face to get the performance to another level,’ said Yamaguchi.”
TRANSLASIAN: “My parents watch the show and call me up after every episode, telling me that I should practice harder, stretch more, work longer. My mother won’t let her friends tune in until I start getting tens. She told me: ‘Dancing with star, world championship, olympic, same thing! You should get perfect score!’ I won’t rest until I see ’30.’ I hate myself so frickin’ much right now.”
Filed under: A-Minus, Dancing With the Stars, Disappointing Your Parents, Doing Your Best, Kristi Yamaguchi, Perfection, Self-Loathing, the Olympics
Betraysian of the Stars
If you’ve gotten a chance to tune in to the new season of Dancing With the Stars, you’ll see that competitor Kristi Yamaguchi is already off to an excellent start, knocking out a near-perfect foxtrot with partner Mark Ballas in the very first episode.
Last night, in Hardass-Asian-Parented-purist fashion, Kristi went for Week 2 gold–this time with a “Latin-flavored” dance. You’ve gotta give the girl props for shirking her aversion to saucy hip shakes for the opportunity to excel. And she did it! She shook the shit out of her shit, and that was pretty amazian of her.
…but did she have to do it to a song penned by the (non-Latin, non-Asian) style-biter and exploitasian mistress of the century, Gwen Stefani?
Filed under: Betraysian, Dancing With the Stars, Everything About Gwen Stefani Sucks Ass, Excelling, Figure Skating, Gold Medals Rule, Hey Baby, Kristi Yamaguchi, Olympians, Shaking Your Shit
BIRTHDAY CELEBRASIAN!
Happy 36th birthday, Kristi Yamaguchi! To celebrate, We dedicate all of our failed triple lutzes and sore, ice-impacted rump moments to you. You are the greatest!
Filed under: Birthdays, Everybody Loves a Winner, Ice Skaters, Kristi Yamaguchi, the Olympics
