You are currently browsing posts tagged with Kimora Lee Simmons

Intern Jasmine’s Links Of The Daysian

June 25th, 2010 | 0 comments | Posted by jasmine

What's a World Cup without a bedazzled Baby Phat soccer ball?

North Korea would like the United States to pay it $65 trillion for years of hostility [Gawker]

The Korean War started 60 years ago today. [Wikipedia]

Kimora Lee Simmons has been spreading fabulosity to South Africa. [Sowetan - thanks, Michael!]

It’s been a year since Michael Jackson (and Farrah Fawcett!) died. Cebu inmates, take it away. [YouTube]

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Fabumomsity

February 19th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Russell Simmons, whose divorce to Kimora Lee Simmons was finalized this month, recently spoke to OK! Magazine and praised his ex-wife’s mothering abilities.

He says:

“She’s an excellent mother, and I’m inspired by the way she’s raising our children. They are well-behaved and well-spoken. They are always well-groomed.

Hmm. We know a little bit about Kimora’s parenting methods, because we read her book, Fabulosity, cover-to-cover. Here’s an excerpt, which features her approach to building healthy relationships for her daughters with food:

“If you’re blessed enough to have kids, it’s your duty to take care of them and teach them how to eat. My kids do not drink soda, they only drink water and O.J. (No dairy, either.) I try to limit their candy, but I’m careful not to make it a big deal or ever ban it outright. If we totally took it away, they’d be obsessed! As it is now, they get one M&M at a time, and the only person who is allowed to give them candy is me–the nanny can’t let them have any. She tells them ‘you have to ask your mom.’ I’ll give them one or maybe two at the most. Ming will eat her M&M so slowly, savoring the sugar, the chocolate, and the peanut because she knows she’s not getting another one. Surprisingly the kids will snack on carrots and grapes, too. I hope my kids will grow up with a healthy relationship to food and not obsess over it–it’s important to me that they think of food as a good, happy thing, and be educated about it.”

Uh.

HUNH.

We’re gonna call bullshit on Russ (even if his tots are, er, well-groomed)–baby mama sounds key-razy as a clown, and we think he’s just tossing out the accolades to avoid an Amazonasian beat-down.

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Thanks, Jasmine!

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Marriage Liberasian

January 29th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

The ink is barely dry on la divorce, but it looks like somebody has already moved on…


**Disclaimer**: This Craiglist ad is, er, probably not real. But, um, God bless you if you needed us to tell you that.

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Thanks, Jasmine!

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Bad Timing Is a Bitch

October 6th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

During this horrible economic crisis, deemed our “economic Pearl Harbor” by Warren Buffett, when the Dow drops 700 points in a day and dips below 10,000 for the first time in 4 years, and people are worried about their jobs and their retirements, what we really need in this country is…a bailout plan? Job creation? Change?

No, silly. We need more FABULOSITY. Which explains why E! chose to premiere Kimora Lee Simmons’s E! True Hollywood Story Friday, chock full of sage wisdom for these hard-scrabble times:

“I am probably the queen of opulence. I love my jewelry. I love my diamonds. I love my shoes. I have diamond shoes. Some people might prefer more demure look. I like it all out screaming. I don’t care.” – Kimora Lee Simmons

“In high school she had a Gucci bag or Louis Vuitton bag. We didn’t even know what that was.” – Shani Johnson, childhood friend

“She calls me as soon as Ming came out. I showed up at the hospital and I walk in and Kimora is ordering like gourmet food from Mr. Chows – still freshly had the baby like 10, 15 minutes ago and is ordering high end $500 Chinese food, and I put my order in too.” – Tyra Banks

Don’t despair if you missed the first showing. E! is running Kimora’s THS all this week. Crisis? What crisis?!

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Careless Whispers of a Good Friend

September 15th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana


DIANA: (whispering) Hi!

JEN: (giggling) Hi!

DIANA: (whispering) What’s up?

JEN: (whispering) Why are we whispering?

DIANA: (whispering) Because of the photo I chose for this post! Anyway…

JEN: Anyway…

DIANA: Did you hear what Kimora said about Sarah Palin the other day?

JEN: I don’t listen much to what Kimora has to say. How’d it go down?

DIANA: She was talking about that crazy Alaskan’s shoes. She was like, “[Sarah Palin's] choice of shoes is wrong, for me.”

JEN: Burn! Wait, which shoes? These?

[Jen pulls up a picture of...]

DIANA: Hmm. Those shoes, if you can call them that, are heinous. But she must have meant something else. She also said, “I think she needs a nice, fierce pump, honey. Those open-toe, old, Gucci-looking throwbacks with the buckle on the front? Open-toe! With a French manicure on her toe? I’m sorry. I think she needs to be a little more refined.

JEN: (snorting) Refined??

DIANA: Yeah!

JEN: We are talking about Kimora Lee Simmons, right?

[Jen pulls up a picture of...]


DIANA: Hmm. Yeah.

JEN: Hmm.

DIANA: Hmm.

JEN: Well, you know, it’s a cold day in Hell when Kimora and I agree on something.

DIANA: So true.

JEN: Welp, I guess Satan’s gotta put on a sweatshirt, then!

DIANA: Hee hee!

JEN: Hee hee!

DIANA: Did you just say that, that whole thing about Satan in a sweatshirt?

JEN: That depends, did you just write it in your post?

DIANA: Yes.

JEN: These dialogues have become way too existential for me to even deal with.

DIANA: Right?

JEN: Right. Go to bed.

DIANA: (whispering) Okay.

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Thanks, Jasmine!

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Sheena Sakai Is a Punk Rocker

September 4th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Duuude. I love Sheena Sakai, the lone Asian-American contestant on America’s Next Top Model Cycle 11, which premiered last night. Even though she does have, as our friend Ty pointed out and this Newsday story seems to imply, a man-face:


And despite the fact that the judges have already compared the native Hawaiian to DISGRASIAN Hall-of-Shamer Kimora and are calling her “Kisheena,” and that she didn’t backhand the dumb sow who told her she had an advantage in the competition because she was the “only Oriental girl” (around the 1:11 mark of this video). Still. Love. Tha. Bitch.

Work it, Sheena.

MAJOR SPOILER ALERT: If you want to know who the finalists will be this season on ANTM, click here.

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Thanks, Ty!

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Softass Asian Mother

July 18th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

“Kimora Lee Simmons Says ‘No Midriff Tops’ for Her Daughters”


Do you want a fuckin’ medal, too?

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What’s Kimora Fabulous Than JC Penney?

July 14th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana


Page Six reported over the weekend that Steve Madden and Kimora Lee Simmons have made a deal for Madden to exclusively manufacture and supply all the shoes, handbags and belts for Simmons’ new Fabulosity line at JCPenney.

I know what you’re thinking… what could be more fabulous than a partnership with the king of trendy shoe knockoffs, available at malls across middle America?

Nothing, I tell you. NOTHING!

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Make New Friends But Keep the Old, One is Silver and the Other Is Gold

June 19th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen
Kimora + Cartier = BFFs


I never really understood the lyrics to a song we used to sing in rounds around the campfire in Girl Scouts:

Make new friends, but keep the old/One is silver, and the other is gold

At the time, I didn’t grasp that “silver” and “gold” were metaphors; I thought, instead, that they were the actual “friends” you were supposed to make and keep. Which, to my young, acquisitive, little girl-mind, sounded suh-weet, since jewelry was sparkly and pretty and what grown-up ladies wore.

I guess I’m not the only one who’s suffered that delusion, as our Fauxbulous “friend” Kimora Lee told People magazine Wednesday that she and Djimon were in attendance at the 3rd Annual Cartier Loveday charity event in L.A. because, “(W)e’re really good friends and supporters of Cartier…”

Kimora also said that she and her BF were “kind of” engaged, making her 2-for-2 in the category of Understanding Relationships and Their Infinite Complexities.

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We Swear We Didn’t Do This

April 18th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen


…but we sure wish we had!

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Thanks, Jasmine!

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Love Her or Hate Her, It’s Still an Obsession

March 31st, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen


The “her” in question being Miz Hello Kitty, of course.

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"Fruity Oriental"

March 24th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

I don’t wear perfume. I find it too sweet and cloying, like Brooke White on American Idol. For that reason and, um, a few others, you won’t find me dabbing Kimora Lee Simmons’ latest self-promoting pile of ‘ca ware, Fabulosity the fragranzzz, behind my ears any time soon.

What did grab my attention regarding Kimora’s new perfume was its description on several sites as a “fruity oriental.” I was, like, come again? Who ya callin’ Fruity Oriental?

But then the Great Google Oracle told me that Fruity Oriental is actually a common classification in the olfactive arts.

Shows you what I know about fragrance.

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Thanks, Jasmine!

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