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What Brainwashing Looks Like: North Koreans Mourn Kim Jong-il

December 19th, 2011 | 3 comments | Posted by Jen

Of course, I hope this was all a show for the North Korean media and that everyone went home and secretly did a happy dance, but even with Kim Jong-il gone, it doesn’t seem that life’s going to get better for North Koreans any time soon.

[ Mourning in North Korea, worries in South]

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Where in the World is Kim Jong Il Korea?

June 30th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Here’s a photo of Kim Jong Il during a military unit visit on April 25, published in the South Korean newspaper Chosun Ilbo.

And here’s him doing another military unit visit on June 14.

Wait. No. Wait. No. That’s the same one, just blurry and missing a couple of dudes–hold on. Let me find it.

Shoot. That’s the same photo again. Isn’t it? Isn’t it?

Huuuuuuunnnnh. Guess that’s the question of the hour. How very interesting.

Now wait. This is big. If North Korea is doctoring photos of Kim, that means one of the following:

  1. Kim Jong Il is finally so filled with shame and remorse for being a chubby, bull-headed, nuke-loving dick-tator, that he refuses to show his face in public anymore. Yay!
  2. Kim Jong Il is too fat to walk.
  3. Kim Jong Il overslept on June 25 and this photo was part of a sloppy coverup scheme.
  4. Kim Jong Il just discovered this awesome shit called Photoshop! Favorite tool: smudge.
  5. Kim Jong Il is dead as a bed.
  6. Kim Jong Il is ill for rill, near death, and not up and able for photo-ops. Time for him to throw in the goddamn towel and stop being such a giant worldwide cheesedick.

I’m going with 3. Totally.

[NYT: Photo Stirs Speculation on North Korean Leader]

Thanks, Jen!

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What’s the D-Il with Kim Jong Il?

September 10th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen
Would a dead man wear such bitchin’ sunglasses?

First we hear that Kim Jong Il has been dead since 2003. Then we hear he had an incapacitating stroke, a fact that North Korea denied today. So what gives? And more importantly, who’s minding the nukes right now?

Thanks, Andrew!

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