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When Worlds Collide: Ono And Gaga

October 5th, 2010 | 3 comments | Posted by Diana

Lady Gaga Joins Yoko Ono and We Are Plastic Ono Band at LA's Orpheum Theatre, Oct. 2

YOKO ONO: And today, ladies and gentlemen, a very special guest. We recently made acquaint–

LADY GAGA: LADY GAGA IS HERE!

YOKO ONO: Yes, a remarkable young woman with a very, ah, artistic–

LADY GAGA: ARE YOU LISTENING TO US, LA???

YOKO ONO: I am so very pleased to meet her, the work this performer has done to make a statement about real issues, like–

LADY GAGA: ARE YOU LISTENING?!?!?!?!

[Awkward pause]

YOKO ONO: We are going to take a short break I think.

LADY GAGA: We are?

YOKO ONO: Step to the side of the stage.

[Awkward pause]

Continue reading When Worlds Collide: Ono And Gaga

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Oh, To Be a Kid Again

September 10th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Y’know, if Oprah had been searching for “America’s Smartest and Most Talented Kids” when Jen and I were younger, we would’ve had that shit in the BAG!

Instead, she waited. She waited until 2008. I have to say, I’m confused–if I wanted to find America’s smartest kid, I’d just call up the United Federation of Teachers and say, “Give me your Asians!” and then just pick the cutest one with the sharpest bowl cut, and call it a day.

Let me just tell you, Best Week Ever just pulled a clip of one of Oprah’s “smartest,” and I can already see that this search is a terrible idea. The results ain’t lookin’ too pretty.


Agh, people… PEOPLE! I can already envision your angry emails: “He’s just a kid, you ornery bitch! Leave him alone!” and “Learning physical discipline takes a lot of smarts!” and “White kids doing martial arts are rad!”

Yeah, yeah. Whatevs.

Listen. I can spot a future Steven Seagal when I see one. Are you ready for another, Oprah fans? ARE YOU?

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Thanks, jRu!

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Don’t Hate

July 2nd, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

People on YouTube may be hating on this adorable little sucker, but I love him.

Hey there, kid. Who needs facial emotions? You emote with your hands, and you’ve invented your own sign language. Keep on keepin’ on!!!

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Shame Sandwich

June 20th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

While trolling the news today for some hot DISGRASIAN bites, I came across this intriguing headline: “Deadbeat Parents? Sandwich of Shame for School Kids!”

Sandwich of Shame? Tell me more!

Then I read the LA Times story that the headline linked to:

When too many parents fell behind on paying for school lunches, the Chula Vista Elementary School District decided to get tough — on the children.

They told students with deadbeat parents that they had only one lunch choice: a cheese sandwich

The cheese sandwich, [parents] say, has become a badge of shame for the children, who get teased about it by their classmates. One student cried when her macaroni and cheese was replaced with a sandwich. A little girl hid in a restroom to avoid getting one. Many of the sandwiches end up untouched or tossed whole in the garbage. Sometimes kids pound them to pieces.

To the best of our knowledge, the cheese sandwich in question looks nothing like this.

Okay. Hold up.

What?!? Since when is a cheese sandwich considered a shame sandwich? How on earth could a slice of American cheese between two pieces of bread even qualify as a badge of shame?

Holding a sign outside of your school that says you’re a bully? That’s a badge of shame. Donning homemade clothes a few sizes too small in the 6th grade when everybody else is wearing Polo just cuz it’d make your grandma and her sewing fingers happy? Sure. Wearing last night’s sequined cocktail dress and smeared makeup while trudging home from a lousy lay across your college quad at 8 am when everyone’s hurrying to breakfast and Bio Lab? I wouldn’t know from, er, personal, um, experience…

But a cheese sandwich? Never.

Click here for full LA Times story.

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