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John Mayer apologized on stage Wednesday night for saying some racially-fucked things in that now infamous Playboy interview–like calling a “hood pass” a “n*gger pass” and saying he has a “white supremacist dick”–and made a special point of saying sorry to his back-up band members, most of whom are black (awkward!). Although he said he was done being “witty” and “clever,” and repeated over and over that he just wants to “play my guitar,” dude couldn’t stop trying to be witty and clever for over three minutes:
As much as we love a real, honest-to-God apology…DUDE SHUT UP ALREADY.
And the colored girls go, “Doo-doo doo-doo-doo doo doo doo-doo-doo-we’re-so-stoked-you-have-a-white-supremacist-dick-doo doo-doo-doo doo doo doo-doo-doo-keep-plugging-chicks-like-Jessica-Simpson-doo-doo doo-doo-doo doo doo doo-that-is-so-fine-with-us-doo-doo doo-doo-doo doo doo doo-your-emo-sensitive-boy-MeMeMe-patter-gives-us-a-rash-doo doo doo-dooooooooo…”
Despite claiming in a recent Playboy interview that “black people love me,” John Mayer doesn’t love them back. At least his dick doesn’t.
My dick is sort of like a white supremacist. I’ve got a Benetton heart and a fuckin’ David Duke cock. I’m going to start dating separately from my dick.
To which black, brown, and yellow chicks all over the world say, “Dude. No. No no no no no no no no no. You’ve got it all wrong. You have no idea what a HUGE solid you’re doing us by keeping your pasty prick over there. NO IDEA. Dude, seriously. Don’t ever change, no matter what people tell you.”
Filed under: Doing Us a Solid, Jessica Simpson, John Mayer, John Mayer Dick, John Mayer Douchebag, John Mayer Johnson, John Mayer Penis, John Mayer Racist Dick, Masturbation, Oversharing, Pasty Wankers, White Dudes Who Think They're Down, Your Cock Isn't Exactly a Wonderland