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Even The Dry Cleaner Tried To Blame Yoko For Their Problems

October 28th, 2010 | 2 comments | Posted by Jen

Um, yeah, so…there’s really nothing that isn’t awesome about this letter John Lennon wrote to his laundry service in the 70′s:

Things that I reallyreally love about it:

  1. For once, the cleaners being yelled at aren’t Asian.
  2. The cleaners are being yelled at BY A BEATLE.
  3. Learning something new about Yoko, i.e. that she doesn’t sweat.
  4. The line “(MOST ORIENTALS DO NOT SWEAT LIKE US),” which I also interpret to mean “Most Orientals Do Not Smell Like Us,” which is true (read this if you don’t believe me).
  5. Continue reading Even The Dry Cleaner Tried To Blame Yoko For Their Problems

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Ono! I’m with Yoko on This One

May 14th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana


Yoko and I don’t always agree, and I’m often rough on the woman (Don’t worry, Yoko fans–Jen typically has a soft spot for her).

While skimming recent headlines about the Ono-curated exhibit,“John Lennon: The New York City Years”–which launched this week at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Annex in Manhattan–I noticed that most leads bore mention to her decision to include a bag of Lennon’s bloody clothes, still soiled from the night of his 1980 murder, in the display. Naturally, I was ready to pounce.

But after processing a bit, I actually began to understand where Ono might be coming from. The bag of clothes is apparently Ono’s statement against gun violence, an epidemic that has claimed 932,000 lives since Lennon’s death. And though she may be crazy (read: though she may have broken up the Beatles) the woman is an icon, a lover of peace, and–in her simplest state–a woman who loved and lost her husband. She may sometimes show it in funny ways, but I do believe she loved her friend/lover/companion truly; and there is not a morning that she rises without missing him or aching at the thought of his bullet-induced death. It’s a pain I can’t even imagine, and something she clearly doesn’t want anyone else to ever experience.

So, in this instance, I’m with Yoko. Trust me, I’m more surprised than you are.

[HuffPo: Yoko Ono Displays John Lennon's Bloodied Clothes]
[Rolling Stone: Yoko Ono Helps Rock Hall Explore John Lennon’s New York Years]

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Thanks, Anthony!

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Leave Yoko Alono

April 25th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

As I’ve said before, I have a soft spot for Yoko Ono. I really can’t explain why. Part of it is reflexive–because she’s historically painted as a woman getting in the way of men’s genius, I kinda can’t help but root for her. Also, does anyone really still care if she broke up the Beatles? A) It was probably was a little more complicated than that. B) So fuckin’ what? It happened forty years ago. C) Has anyone listened to the entire Beatles catalog lately? It’s pretty complete. What? You wanted a disco record, too?

Sure, girlfriend is fiercely protective of John’s estate, but she was married to A. BEATLE. That’s how Beatles do. Should Yoko be handing out that shit for free? How is it shocking that she might be motivated by profit? What rock stars aren’t (if you’re thinking Radiohead, think again)? The difference is, she married one, he’s dead, and people are pissed because they don’t like the idea of a woman holding the strings to a very large money-purse. Then it’s either, how dare she license his image/work for this? Or how dare she withhold his image/work for that? Either way, she’s made into this venal, money- and pleasure-hording harpy. Yawn, I’m bored.

The latest news on Yoko only stirred up more of the same. “Imagine” was used recently in Expelled, a documentary disputing evolution. So everyone jumped at the chance to vilify Yoko once again as a money-grubbing sellout to creationist idiots until they realized that, oops, she didn’t actually license the song.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m all for cracking on Yoko. She, like Bai and Kimora, is endless fodder. Her bizarre millinery choices alone are enough to keep DISGRASIAN going. And just because I feel for her, doesn’t mean I’m not creeped out by, say, her making John into an action figure. But we gotta find something new to say about her. That other shit is so played.

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A Pang in Someone’s Ass

March 12th, 2008 | 1 comment | Posted by Jen

Last night, May Pang, who had a relationship with John Lennon while he was married to Yoko, held a launch party for her new book, “Instamatic Karma: Photographs of John Lennon,” which documents her 18 months with the former Beatle. John’s first wife, Christine Lennon, showed up to lend her support…but somebody else was conspicuously absent.


CHRISTINE: Dude. Yoko is going to be pissed.

MAY: Soooo pissed.

CHRISTINE: Teehee!

MAY: Teehee!

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Ono, Not Lennon!

February 12th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Celebitchy reports that Yoko “Ono I Don’t Love Money, I Love John” Ono’s attorneys have contacted metal singer/songwriter Lennon Murphy (which is the name on her birth certificate, though she goes just by the first), mandating that she stop using the name “Lennon” or face a legal attack.

Yikes. Does this happen to people named Porsche and Mercedes and McDonald’s and Frappuccino, too?

Lennon writes on her MySpace blog:


“Ono filed what is for the most part a law suit with the Trademark and Trial Board of the US Patent & Trademark office this past week… Yoko waited 8 years until 2 days before the statue of limitations ran out to file this complaint. 5 lawyers including 2 trademark experts we have spoken with agree that Yoko has no grounds for these claims and is just trying to push Lennon around and make her spend money she doesn’t have. Yoko seeks to gain the rights to the Trademark ‘LENNON’ which Lennon Murphy has owned since 2003.”

O-no! This situation looks so bad that even Julian “Forgotten” Lennon has jumped on board to show his support.

“In a blog entry titled “Sad but True & interesting ……….. I feel for her & know the situation well,” Julian Lennon posts a message from Lennon, the female rock singer, and says that the girl has his ‘full support.’ In an earlier version of the blog entry, which Julian has since edited, he prefaced Lennon’s statement by saying that he’s had his own legal run-ins with Yoko over the years and that if ‘she could have stopped me from working using my own legal name, she would have.’

Yoko sure means business. Lennon business, that is. It sure does make me wonder what would happen if Ono paid this much attention to her own name?

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THE INSANITY BAROMETER: Yokoooooooooooooooooooooo

December 11th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

There’s something strangely comforting about seeing a 74 year-old woman still lettin’ it all hang out and practicing Primal Scream Therapy, but then again, when that woman is Yoko Ono, pictured here at the Tokyo premiere of “The U.S. Versus John Lennon,” it’s also kinda fuckin’ scary:

“Snowfling, snowfall, snowfall, listen, listen, listen!!!”

Insanity Barometer, goin’ up!

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All We Are Saying Is Give Yoko a Chance

October 2nd, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

A week from today on October 9, Yoko Ono will unveil the Imagine Peace Tower in Reykjavik, Iceland. The tower, which is a giant beam of light emanating from a wishing well, will bear the words “imagine peace” in 24 languages.

Ono has been collecting wishes for peace–of which she now has 495,000–which will be buried in capsules around the tower, topped by a tree. “Eventually, it will be like a forest,” she says.

The unveiling is Yoko’s gift to her late husband John Lennon, who would have celebrated his 67th birthday next week.

…Say what you will about Miss Ono, but we dig her pacifist vibes. Anyone feel like hopping a plane to Rejkjavik?

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SHOEGAZER ROCK OF ASIAN

August 8th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

A few friends and I have a pretty good system going when it comes to Sean Lennon records–he continues to put out albums and we continue to not listen to them. No, it’s not because we hate his mother Yoko, and it’s not because Sean doesn’t remind us of his father–he does, in fact. Almost too much. The poor boy simply hasn’t shown us that he has the drive or original spirit to be anything but pretty borzzZzZZzzzZzZZZzzzzzZZZzzzzZzZZz ZzzzZZzzZzzzzzz…

That said, we couldn’t help but find his “L’Eclipse” duet with Mathieu Chedid to be absolutely adorable. It also made us miss his dad all the more. L’sigh.

Hi Colin!

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Idol Gives (Itself a Pat On the) Back

April 25th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Here’s a clip of Blight Lewis’ lifeless rendition of John Lennon’s “Imagine” on last night’s American Idol: Idol Gives Back:

“Imagine all the Beebowl”

I was inspired after Blight’s performance to write a letter to Yoko. Now, unlike most people, I actually like Yoko. Did she break up the Beatles? Perhaps, but so what if she did? That means she’s clearly more compelling than Paul McCartney, an idea that I find entirely plausible (might I add, I’m also with Heather Mills, that little gold-digging, Cockney-accented peg leg.)

And John could have never written “John Lennon/Plastic Ono Band” without Yoko and her scream-therapy style of musicianship, so I thank you, Ono, because it is my favorite weep-fest record of all time.

I’m well aware that the Yokster has a whole history of controlling John’s estate (Diana pointed this out last month), but if she’s letting Blight Lewis phone in “Imagine” on American Idol, I’d say her grip isn’t tight enough. Let’s get on with the letter, shall we?


Dear Yoko,

Imagine there’s a no-talent white guy. It’s easy if you try. He’s like hell before us. Above us, a blackened sky. Imagine all the people. Whose ears wouldn’t be bleeding today-ay-ay. You may say that I’m a dreamer. But I’m not the only one. I hope someday you’ll join us. And the world will live as one.

Power to the People,
Jen

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