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Of Course Electroshock Smile Therapy Was Invented By Asians [HOAX]

February 7th, 2011 | 1 comment | Posted by Jen

Hardass Asian Parents, do you wish your lazy, spoiled, selfish children would show some gratitude for all the sacrifices you’ve made for them by offering up a smile now and then? Is that too much to ask???

Welp, if it is, you can simply force their little mouths open with the Electro Smile, a device allegedly invented by a Japanese scientist that sends electric shocks to a child’s cheeks, producing a smile that “lasts for Days.”

I hate you, Mommy! BZZZZZZZZZ I mean, I love you, Mommy!

The gadget warns of an “only slight twitch side effect,” along with an only slight your-child-hating-you-forever-and-thinking-you’re-a-sadistic-fuck-for-the-rest-of-his-or-her-life (deep breath) effect.

[UPDATE: The photo above is for a real product, albeit one that doesn't deliver electroshocks (sorry, Tiger Moms). And the text is fake and not just the result of a horrible translation. The real product, as I learned from the comments section of Neatorama, is called a Kami Kami sensor, and it counts the number of bites children make while eating their food. Which actually seems way less useful than an electroshock smile therapy tool, don't you think?]

[Image via]

[via Neatorama]

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Hot For Robot Teacher?

May 8th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

“Hello. I am Saya the robot teacher. I have been programmed to educate young children. And. To make them successful adults. My face can show. Five Hardass Asian Teacher emotions. They are Fear. Disgust. Anger. Sad. Surprise. Technically, I can also show Happy. [robot laughs] I do not use Happy ever. My hard drive has also been pre-loaded. With. Standard phrases that help students learn. Study more tonight. Why don’t you try harder. I am disappointed. Your parents will be ashamed. What a delicious apple. “

[Ubergizmo: Saya Robot Teacher]


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We, Along with Our Robot Armies, Are Taking Over Everything

April 8th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Reuters reported today on a thinktank (albeit one called the Machine Industry Memorial Foundation that has a vested interest in this sort of thing) recently estimating that robots could fill as many as 3.5 million jobs by the year 2025 in Japan. The story was accompanied by a photo of this robo-receptionist, who is currently working at Ben-Gurion University in Israel:

Which made me wonder how long we’re going to have to wait for someone to issue this model:

Thanks, Rob!

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