DISGRASIAN™

Crack Open A Cold One With 70,000 Of Your Closest Online Friends

We learned via Japan Trends that a Japanese news agency has reported on a boom trend among the country’s netizens in their twenties and thirties: online nomikai (drinking parties!!!).

Funny, we’ve always fancied DISGRASIAN as a kind of online drinking party (or are Jen and I the only ones sitting at our laptops, rantin’ to y’all, while sipping on scotch/rocks?).

For the Japanese, virtual mixers are an adaptation of a longstanding social norm that typically obliges people to booze formally (read: uncomfortably) with their coworkers at izakaya spots. In Hollywood we tend to call such burdensome fiestas “work drinks” (or Jen’s personal form of hell), and spend the time making fun of line producers that can’t stop flirting inappropriately with young production assistants.

More from Japan Trends:

“One way to get around this but still enjoy drinking in groups is to go online. Apparently net nomikai are gaining in popularity, according to reports by J-Cast and others. All you need is a web cam, Skype and a pair of headphones and mic. There is no boss, no seating arrangements — and even no geographical limitations! Obviously it’s a lot cheaper than boozing in an izakaya too, which might appeal to the recession-minded younger drinkers who can’t rely on company expenses.”

Booze? Budget-friendly socializing? No need for designated drivers? No regretful drunken co-worker boob gropes? Fun avatars? An open browser on the desktop so each user can intermittently check in on DISGRASIAN updates? Hell. It all sounds pretty good to us!

Frankly, we see little wrong with the concept of getting hammered with online friends every night… except… hrmm… Dr. Drew might eventually classify it is a form of drinking alone, a subtle sign of alcoholism. But no one else seems to be worried about that, so why should we?

[Japan Trends: Online Drinking Games For Younger Japanese]

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Thanks, Dave and Jasmine!

Filed under: Alcoholism, Bizarre Trends, Budget Boozing, Dr. Drew, Drinking Parties, Formality, Great Ideas, Japan, Japan Trends, netizens, Nomikai, Online Drinking, The Recession, Weird Japanese Behavior

BABEWATCH: Miho Takagi

Name: Miho Takagi

Age: 15 (please don’t perv out, pervs)

Occupation: Student, Olympic speed skater

Hails from: Japan

Why She’s A Babe: Though she hasn’t medaled in these Olympic games, Takagi catches our eye every time she’s on the ice. With a baby-sweet grin, bitchin’ lean muscles, and cute-as-hell pixie bob haircut, she always manages to look both athletic, slick and chic–even in a gold lamé racing suit.

And about that uniform… many netizens saw published practice photos of the teen and gleefully pointed out that her suit revealed a dainty G-string, but it turned out the Continue reading BABEWATCH: Miho Takagi

Filed under: 2010 Winter Olympics, Asians and Speed Skating, Cute Asian Chicks, Cute Kids, Female Athletes, G-Strings, Hot Haircuts, Japan, Japanese Athletes, Miho Takagi, Racing Suit, Speed Skating, Teenagers, Underwear, Vancouver Winter Olympics, Winning Isn't Everything, Winter Olympics

Heavy Stuff: DQ’d From The Olympics

Aya Yasuda, a Japanese athlete at her first Olympics, was disqualified on Monday from the Women’s Luge competition in Vancouver.





No, she didn’t get busted for juicing. And she wasn’t lying about her gender. She didn’t screw an Olympic judge. She didn’t put a hit on any of her opponents.

But she did accidentally bring too much weight with her to the Games.

Lemme ’splain. From Yahoo! Sports:

“Yasuda, who tips the scales at a slender 60 kg (132 lbs), miscalculated the additional weight lugers are allowed to carry as ballast and failed the compulsory weigh-in after her first run at the Whistler Sliding Centre.

‘During a weight check at the finish of run one the athlete’s additional weight exceeded the maximum allowed which was 13.1 kilos,” race organisers said. “Her actual weight was 13.3 kilos.’”

Athletic disqualifiquasians don’t often shock me, but darn it all–this one does. I mean, an Asian busted for bad math? That’s like, UNTHINKABLE!

[Yahoo! Sports: Japan's Slender Slider Has Weighty Problem]

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Filed under: 2010 Olympics, Aya Yasuda, Disqualificasian is Sucky, Female Athletes, Japan, Japanese Athletes, Japanese Luger Disqualified From Olympics, Luge, Math is Hard, the Olympics, Winter Olympics, Women's Luge

Business Cat, Business Cat, What Are They Feeding You?

Dear Business Cat,

I know you’re an actor and all, but you seem to have a lot of chutzpah (not to mention specs and a necktie), so I’m just going to follow my gut here and ask you a quick question.

Do you have any administrative experience? See, Intern Jasmine is really overloaded (our bad) and she totally needs an assistant. All you would have to do is order her meals, file her taxes, make sure her car registration is paid, call her in for jury duty, check her business email, reply to her business email, spellcheck her tweets, pick up her dry cleaning, break up with guys she’s tired of, untag photos on Facebook that associate her with former friends, make reservations at her favorite restaurants, and… whatever other odds and ends you still have time for. You also have to read DISGRASIAN every day (and spellcheck my posts too, as I get carried away sometimes).

I’m going to be up front here. The pay isn’t great. But at DISGRASIAN HQ there are (in excess): warm windowsills, cardboard boxes, crinkled up pieces of paper, tuna juice, laps, carpet squares, string, yarn, twine, ribbon, very tall spots for sitting (or standing or planning a pounce), tiny stuffed mice, ping pong balls, little toys that roll and make Continue reading Business Cat, Business Cat, What Are They Feeding You?

Filed under: Adorable, Awesome Japanese Behavior, Business Cat, Catching the Bad Guys, Cute Overload, Great Ideas, Helping Out, Intern Jasmine, Japan, Job Offers, Learning Curves, Sleeping With A Tie, TV Commercials

BIRTHDAY CELEBRASIAN! Cornelius

Happy birthday to musicalbeatmasta Cornelius, who turned 41 yesterday!

We wish him a warm celebration with lovely wife Takako Minekawa, and lots of sweet treats and sweet beats to see them through the year!

Continue reading BIRTHDAY CELEBRASIAN! Cornelius

Filed under: Awesome Japanese Musicians, Birthdays, Cornelius, Japan, Takako Minekawa

ROCK OF ASIAN: The Predators

I’ll be honest. For about three weeks, when not busy playing Beatles Rock Band*, I’ve been dusting off old and also sorta-oldish punk albums, to give them a good spin–providing a soundtrack for the month’s chaos and all of my nervous holiday energy. 

“Punk” coming out of my speakers can mean a lot of things–sometimes the herky jerk of Bad Brains or Black Flag, sometimes a fun romp with the Ramones, Fugazi if I’m feeling fresh, Stooges if I’m not. And… okay. I’ve also been indulging my Orange County roots with bad 90’s power punk that will go unnamed to preserve my innocence.


What I’d not even thought to entertain, at least until this week, were all of the fun Japanese punk bands that I meant to fall in love with twenty years ago but didn’t because I was in elementary school without an Internet connection. Take, for example,  The Predators, who I’m listening to right now (via MySpace recommendation by Japanese alt-veterans, The Pillows).

Continue reading ROCK OF ASIAN: The Predators

Filed under: Awesome Japanese Bands, Bad Brains, Black Flag, Chaos, Fugazi, Japan, Japanese Bands, Memory Lane, Nostalgia, Nostalgiasian, Orange County, Punk Rock, Punk's Not Dead, Punks, Soundtracks, The Clash, The Holidays, The Predators, The Ramones, The Stooges

AMAZIAN OF THE WEEK! Cho Seung-jin, Piano Prodigy

Jen and I not particularly well-versed in the goings-on of the International piano competition community (Sorry, Moms), so we hadn’t heard of the Hamamatsu International Piano Competition–a prestigious classical piano showdown that occurs every three years in Hamamatsu, Shizuoka, Japan–until we read about its newly-anounted champion today.

South Korea’s Cho Seung-jin took first prize in the 7th Annual competition, a two-week affair that culminated today, making him the first-ever Asian person to nab the top honor (All winners since the contest’s 1991 inception have been European) of the Asia-based tournament.

OH. He’s also 15.

So he’s the youngest-ever winner of the competition. And our Hardass Asian Parents’ wet dream.

Cho typically practices piano for three to four hours a day (six during heavy competition), and what we love about him is that he seems to be both a consummate professional and fun, dreamy, adorably innocent kid.

The Korea Times pulled this excerpt from the judges’ interpretation of his second-round performance, depicting the nuance and wisdom of a veteran:

Continue reading AMAZIAN OF THE WEEK! Cho Seung-jin, Piano Prodigy

Filed under: Cho Seung-Jin, Everybody Loves a Winner, Exceptional Young People, First Asian, Hamamatsu International Piano Competition, Hardass Asian Parents, Japan, Music, Musical Geniuses, Piano, Piano Lessons Are Required, Prodigies, Teen Wonders, Youngest-Ever

DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! The Obama Bow-cklash

To the angry, inflammatory, right-wing pundits (like Michelle Malkin and Sean Hannity and Rush Limbaugh), and all of the folks that are losing sleep over the fact that President Obama (gasp!) bowed while shaking the hand of Japanese Emperor Akihito…

…there’s a fascinating new concept we’d like to introduce to you called “SHOWING RESPECT.”

Continue reading DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! The Obama Bow-cklash

Filed under: Attitude, Change, Conservatards, Conservative Pundits, Controversy, Cultural Diplomacy, Emeror Akihito, Evolution, Global Warming, Japan, Michelle Malkin, President Barack Obama, Respeck, Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, The American Way, Uproar, World Relasians

ROPID: Cuter Than A Baby Prawn

Meet Ropid (Rapid + Robot), a new robot just unveiled by scientists in Japan that jumps, responds to directions…







…and is about 10,396,574 more adorable and fun to watch than your obnoxious little cousin with 1 year of ballet and 4 years of piano lessons under her belt, who your aunt dresses up in stupid party dresses every time there’s the teeniest, mundane family function going on–who she will HUSH AN ENTIRE ROOM FOR (sometimes even an NBA Playoff game) so that the little fucker can sing a song and dance it out, then follow with an encore presentasian of a plunked-out, shitty Sonatina on the piano.

10,396,574 more adorable and fun to watch than your cuz. And you can turn it off.

[BBC News: Jumping Robot An 'Entertainer']

Thanks, Jasmine!

Filed under: Adorable, Adorable-ness, Asian Families, Awesome Inventions, Baby Robot, Cousins, Cute Things, Dope, Dopeass Stuff, Family Functions, Fun, Japan, Performing, Piano, Piano Lessons Are Required, Robots, Ropid

BABEWATCH: Haruna Ai

Name: Haruna Ai

Age: 37

Hails from: Japan

Why She’s A Babe: Over the weekend, the lovely Miss Haruna Ai was crowned winner at the famed transsexual Miss International Queen 2009 pageant in Thailand.

As if those pretty eyes, the perfect skin, that hourglass shape and supple lips weren’t enough, it seems pretty clear that the newly-crowned Miss International Queen is also quite lovely on the inside:

“I want contests like this to show everyone that they should love each other and live freely,” she told reporters after the win.

We hope for the same. Also, homegirl is glowing like a teen at 37–an inspirasian to us all. Go, sister!!!

[AFP: Transsexual Miss World Contest Aims To Boost Awareness]

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Filed under: Awesomeness, Beautiful Ladies, Beauty Pageants, Beauty Queens, Everybody Loves a Winner, Haruna Ai, Japan, Miss International Queen 2009, Our Thirties Look GOOD, Thailand, Transsexuals

The Cold Head Truth

I wonder if ice forms jerking off to this ice-pop blowjob melting competition say things like, “Slow down, girl! You’re gonna give my cousin over there a cold rash! Goddamn, y’all are HOT. Oh! Holy shit! You’re so hot you’re killing ‘em! YOU’RE KILLING ED! STOP KILLING ED!!!!!”







[via GorillaMask]

Thanks, Pete!

Filed under: Bikinis, Blowjob Queens, Dubious Achievements, giving head, Japan, People Who Suck, Phallic References, Rashes, This Pretty Much Disgusts Me, Yes I Believe Ice Forms Create Communities and Talk and Watch YouTube, YouTube Gems

AMAZIAN OF THE WEEK! The Japanese Toddler Who Survived Being Run Over By A Train

A 15 month-old toddler who wandered onto train tracks outside of her home in Suzaka City, northwest of Tokyo, and had a oncoming train grind to a halt on top of her, has survived with only scratches for injuries.

HuffPo reported that the girl lived because she got trapped in a 50-centimeter gap between the train and the tracks.

“The train pushed her along the level crossing and dropped her into a pit between the rails,” Fuji Yoshida police spokesman Kenichi Nagata told PTI.

Props to the train driver for noticing the baby girl and applying the emergency brakes in time, too.

[via HuffPo]

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Filed under: Asian Babies, Japan, Japanese Toddler Survives Being Run Over by Train, Miracle Babies, Miracles, Throw Baby From the Train, Trains