You are currently browsing posts tagged with Jabba the Hutt
Onch’a Wish Your Best Friend Was Paris Hilton? Onch’a?
Paris Hilton’s My New BFF, season deux, debuted last night.
And despite all of my wishes, prayers, hopes and dreams, the set’s “throne” chair did not suddenly morph into a slobbering mound of feral, starving, sharp-toothed, snapping, diseased, angry labia that instantly/simultaneously enveloped and digested Paris (and that little piss, Onch) in one smelly, violent bite.
That seriously would have been the best thing ever. Ever.
Source (nice typo, MTV!)
Thanks, Jasmine!
Filed under: Angry Labia, Dishonoring the Gaysian, Humans as Pets, Jabba the Hutt, Kneeling, ONCH, Paris Hilton, Pathetic, Please Disappear, Prayers
Quite an O-Cake-sian
BRIDE: Oh, Yum!
GROOM: It’s our wedding cake! A delicious creation.
BRIDE: I still can’t believe I let you talk me into this thing. So what did you say it was again? It’s our “mountain of love?”
GROOM: Yes.
BRIDE: So it’s definitely not Jabba the Hutt.
GROOM: No, but he’s my favorite! Baby, we love Star Wars! Remember how we met at that Star Wars: Episode 1 screening?
BRIDE: Honey, that’s not real Star Wars. And hey, you know I don’t like to tell people we saw that piece of trash.
GROOM: I know.
BRIDE: And, okay, so you’re absolutely sure this isn’t a cake shaped like a soft, wet dog turd? Like the kind that happens in multiple piles around the house if you go on vacation and leave the dog with a dogsitter, and it gets really freaked out?
GROOM: Turd? No way.
BRIDE: It does look like a turd.
GROOM: I would contest that.
BRIDE: Good luck, buddy.
GROOM: Thank you.
BRIDE: Alright, but seriously. If this isn’t some kind of geoduck creation, I don’t know what it is.
GROOM: It’s not–
BRIDE: I can’t deal with geoducks, man. They look like angry, clammy, uncircumcised penises. I mean, hell, I love a dog in a turtleneck, just not on my mollusk.
GROOM: How many dogs in turtlenecks have you seen, exactly?
BRIDE: Um, nothing! OOOOH, cake! Let’s take the picture!!!!
Photo via DListed
Filed under: Bizarre Photographs, Bizarre Shapes, Jabba the Hutt, Star Wars, Star Wars: Episode 1, Steaming Piles of Turd, Trash, Uncircumcised Penises, We Love Dogs, Wedding Cake Rules, Weird Asian Behavior
