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So my latest troll down YouTube lane began with a link from my friend, Doug. It led to a video (removed from YouTube today) posted by an American gent in his fifties (and bearing an uncanny likeness to Captain Kangaroo). In it, he wears a custom hachimaki and dances wackily in front of the screen projection of a music video from the J-pop band Perfume. The man, who goes by the YouTube handle Perfume444, gleefully professes his longstanding love for Perfume–particularly his favorite member of the trio, A-Chan, as he makes kissing motions to her video lips. He smiles the biggest grin I’ve seen on a human being in weeks. The piece ends with a scrolling caption: “I really, really, really LOVE Perfume!!!”
I thought, instantly: DISGRASIAN. A snap judgment, yes, but I doubt I was the only one who would have made it.
But I needed to see more. So I clicked through to his YouTube channel. Quickly, I saw that Frank (Perfume444) had something to say for himself in the “About Me” section:
PERFUME 444 CHANNEL IS NOT ABOUT PEOPLE SEEING ME…ITS ABOUT ME THANKING PERFUME FOR ALL THAT THEY HAVE DONE !!!
I have been to Japan in 2003 and 2005.. I play Drums so did 2 small tours in Japan. I LOVE JAPAN !!!! I miss it so much. The Japanese People are so kind and wonderful. I really feel like my soul is Japanese. About Perfume… I got into Perfume in early 2006. I was looking for Japan stuff on youtube, all kinds of music from Japan and I found Perfume. The song Akihabalove was the first one I heard. I fell in love with that song and the girls. I watched the beehive cam on youtube and watched them grow up. So my love for them is like a father daughter love. Not sex because they were so young at the time. Even now I still see them as big kids, NOT sex objects. Anyway…about the Music… I was hooked, It was so different then anything I heard before. my all time favorite song is Seventh heaven…It all ways makes me cry. I also love Secret Secret , Foundation, computer city, Macaroni, Edge , ” jenny in a bad mood ” wonder 2, Polyrhythm,Baby cruising love , Vitamin Drop, yes Its heard to pick just one song. A-Chan is my favorite. If I was 20 yrs old I would want to marry her. But Im not ! Im 55 yrs old. But perfume music makes me feel happy and young I wish I could find some one like A-Chan. She is the most beautiful person I have ever seen. her heart and sole are heaven ! The person that marries her will be the luckiest person on earth.
Well, shit, the words were sweet as perfume. AND LITTERED WITH RED FLAGS. (Quick, another snap judgment: Frank is a full-on Nippon perv who clearly thinks of the 21 and 22-year-old members of Perfume as sex objects. I mean, hello, read the “About Me” excerpt!)
But first, more proof. More videos. Needed to see more creepy, pervy, proofy videos. But my eyes slid to the right and glimpsed this user comment:
Continue reading He Really, Really, Really Loves Perfume
Filed under: 4Chan, A-Chan, Captain Kangaroo, Creepy Old Dudes, Frank Evins, Happy Birthday Kashiyuka Video, Internet Memes, J-Pop, Japan, Kashiyuka, Nippon, Nocchi, Perfume, Perfume444, Pervs, Snap Judgments, Squirrel Glider, Wormholes, WTF?, YouTube, YouTube Is a Sordid Place
Watch your back, K-pop!
Although Japan’s been eating your dust for years in the girl group game, it’s recently produced quite possibly the most unforgettable pop sensation this world has ever seen.
Give it up for HRP-4C!
Unforgettable, in every way, but mostly in the skin-crawling, vertigo-inducing, scarier-than-clowns, make-it-stop way.
The upshot? She’d make for a terrific Halloween costume, especially if you hate trick-or-treaters, children in general, or, really, all people.
[via The Awl]
Filed under: Artificial Intelligence, Creepy Robots, Girl Groups, Halloween Costumes, HRP-4C, HRP-4C Robot, J-Pop, Japan, K-Pop, Robots, Scarier Than Clowns, Scary Shit, Small Wonders, Technological Advances, Things That Make Our Skin Crawl
There seem to be 100 reasons to love Andrew W.K., the man behind 2001′s frenetic playtime album I Get Wet. If the brilliantly-structured cheeky sonatas of his debut effort don’t hook you, then there’s a chance his doe-eyes will, or, better, his longstanding reputation for being the nicest goddamn guy ever to wield a guitar or let fresh blood drip down his face.
W.K. is damn serious about not taking the world too seriously, apparent in his dancing grin and brazen musical jaunts–and if you happen to be in on the joke, the result is an endlessly satisfying, good fuckin’ time. But let’s be clear–his is not the sadistic, condescending jokery of an angry genius (à la Rivers Cuomo whining “Pork and Beans”), but a warm, cuddly, Hakuna Matata-pluck at hedonism: Not “fuck you” ha-ha, but “FUCK YEAH!” HA HA!
W.K. recently released a series of J-pop covers only found in Japan, meant as a thank-you gift to his equally warm and cuddly fans in the country. The recordings are executed with all the razzle-dazzle of show tunes, theme songs, and pop anthems, but be ready for a surprise. Something in his vocal delivery and synth orchestration makes the songs deliciously smart and might even invoke a little classic Bowie. (I know, I know. You’re like, “What?!”–but just trust me on this one).
The 14 songs, which includes piano ballad “Kiseki,” can be streamed at his website (listed on the album Premium Collection – The Japan Covers–you’ll have to skip the first 10 songs or so) and are worth the buffering. Enjoy!
I know what you’re gonna say when you read An Cafe‘s description of self:
THEY PLAY DANCEABLE ROCK MUSIC WITH HARAJUKU VIBE. THEIR UNIQUE DANCEABLE ROCK SOUND AND LIFE-SIZED LYRICS ARE EXTREMELY POPULAR AMONG YOUNG KIDS IN JAPAN. AN CAFE IS WIDELY ACCEPTED NOT JUST BY VISUAL-KEI FANS BUT ALSO BY THE J-POP FANS. ATTRACTING THEM WITH POP SOUNDS, ENTERTAINING LIVE SET AND FURTHER MORE WITH THEIR UNIQUE CHARACTERS.
That’s either a total fucking mess or the exact source that Gwen Stefani ripped off for her solo project, right? Leaning more towards “total mess!”
But y’all, I’m mesmerized by An Cafe.
This. Is what. My Dreams. Look like.
It was so hard, at a totally prepubescent age in the 80s, to not want to be Jennifer Beals in Flashdance. She came from the wrong side of the tracks, but boy was she hot. She didn’t wear pants. She moved like a gazelle. She had those sincere brown eyes and ridiculously feminine collarbone. She was smooth, she was silky, she was cool, she was sexy. No, she was sex.
Writing this, I’m not actually convinced I was allowed to watch Flashdance with my parents’ knowledge. I think I snuck screenings at my BFF Ashlynn Ritter’s house, while eating popcorn out of those awesome woven wooden snack bowls that only white people seemed to have. My parents didn’t want me watching Jennifer Beals for all of the above reasons. What if I tried to emulate her? Can you imagine a little, fleshy, Vietnamese-Missouran child, decked in nothing but an off-collar sweatshirt, lycra panties, and leg warmers, attempting back bends around the kitchen chair? I think my mom would have shit twice and died.
My mother did not shit twice, nor die, and neither did my admiration for Jennifer Beals. Every single time I hear “Maniac” or “What A Feeling,” I imagine myself pounding out her moves, but in a new, modern fashion, colored by my 2008 brand of sensuality. My lycra panties. My leg kicks. My back bends. All updated for the new millenium.
But it looks like J-pop singer Mura Namie already beat me to it:
Guess biz-nas in US have been slow for Dion since she got dropped as the official songstress of HRC’s campaign and took her last bow in Vegas! Celine “Da Diva” Dion has apparently now spread her wings towards the
ATMs audiences of Japan, releasing a beautiful new duet with J-Pop star Yuna Ito:
Oh boy! From the soft, meaningful hand grasp at the song’s opening measure, to the
creepy intimate eye contact throughout, to the scary hug and awkward thumbs-up warm embrace at the end, this beautiful collaborasian drips with sincerity! No way does it reek of Ka-Ching Chong!
[buys "A World To Believe In" mp3 single on iTunes]