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ROCK OF ASIAN: Loving Kim Hee Chul’s UFace

October 13th, 2010 | 2 comments | Posted by Diana

Chris Manning of Urlesque deconstructed the rapid ascent of Super Junior member Kim Hee Chul from K-pop idol to Twitter superstar (Kim’s name, relatively unknown by most American audiences, became a trending topic for nearly a week, as recently as this morning), which has even inadvertently placed him in a media battle with Twitter’s crowned pretty-boy prince, Justin Bieber.

According to Manning, it all began when Kim tweeted Uface sketches of himself and other K-pop notables, which fans quickly gobbled up like banchan. The blogs took notice and hyped up the chatter. Kim knew he was onto something good, so he stepped up his game: replying, retweeting, taking his act to Facebook. And then people that didn’t even know who or what he was began to notice, many tweeting about the fact that they didn’t even know who or what he was. And so Kim rose to the top. This is the science of social networking, people! You can’t make this shit up.

To think, it all began with a sketch.

We love that Super Junior fans (E.L.F.s) are having their day in the sun, and Kim is likely to enjoy heightened name recognition from here on out! And to think, it all began with a sketch.

A sketch like… Continue reading ROCK OF ASIAN: Loving Kim Hee Chul’s UFace

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DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! The Puff! iPhone App

October 9th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

HuffPo and Buzzfeed have posted a video demonstrating the remarkable usability of Japanese developer BottleCube’s latest iPhone app creation: Puff!

Puff! features scenes of cute Japanese girls in plausible situations (For instance, flipping over a jungle gym bar in a sexy little cheerleading outfit, or eyeing you seductively in a dark lounge while concealing summer panties and garter belt that she secretly wants you to see), whose skirts can be “blown” up high to reveal their underthings with just a tap/rub up the screen or blow on the iPhone mic. The harder you rub and blow, the higher her skirt flies, and the more delighted (via squeals) she seems.

But not everyone can get Puff! on the iPhone. In fact, the iTunes App store says you must be at least 17 years old to download:


But we think it could be a little simpler than that. To download this app, you kinda just have to fuckin’ BLOW. Like, really, really hard.

[HuffPo: Puff iPhone App Simulates Looking Up Girls' Skits (VIDEO)]
[BuzzFeed: Puff! An iPhone App For Perverts]

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Who Says You Have To Be Asian To Be A Hardass Asian Parent?

October 5th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

We talk about our Hardass Asian Parents a lot, and the ways in which they, um, pushed us to succeed molded us into perfectionists put us into therapy for life raised us, but the truth is, you don’t have to be Asian to be a Hardass Asian Parent. Take, for example, Ben Morrison.

Morrison, a web developer, created an iPhone app called Langu, because he and his wife adopted a daughter from Taiwan, and they wanted her to grow up fluent in both Mandarin and English. Cute, right?

But wait. There’s more. In addition to the app, Morrison told Wired‘s GeekDad that he also uses these tools to help his daughter learn what would’ve been her native tongue:

We do our best to expose her to many different channels of learning the language, like Mandarin immersion preschool, Chinese picture books, even bootleg “Dora the Explorer” translated into Chinese.

Mandarin immersion preschool AND Chinese picture books AND bootleg “Dora the Explorer” videos translated into Chinese AND you write your own iPhone language app for toddlers that features a “Quiz” mode?!

GeekDad writer Jonathan Liu’s 3 year-old trying out Langu

Not content to sit on his laurels (or let his daughter sit on hers, either), Morrison has other educational iPhone apps in the works:

I’ve been kicking around some ideas for other iPhone apps, most of them center around something I want Violet to learn… probably reading or math next. And of course, if Langu’s well received, I’d like to make more versions… I’d want to tackle Arabic or Hindi next—I like typography, and am easily excited by non-Latin characters.

Good lord, this guy makes my own Hardass Asian Dad, who used to make me go to Chinese school occasionally, do math workbooks over summer vacation, and write up reports on what I’d read in Scientific American, look downright soft.

Hardass Parents of All Stripes: The Langu Mandarin iPhone app is available here.

[GeekDad: Langu Teaches Your Toddler to Be Bilingual (or More)]

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Want to Get a Cute Asian Girl Inside Your Pants?

March 30th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Want to get a cute Asian Girl inside your pants, but have no game, no life, and, really, no reason for living?

Have no fear…the Cute Asian Girls iPhone app is here!


Behold its description:

If you have yellow fever, this app is the cure!

Cute Asian Girls gives you HUNDREDs of photos of the most beautiful asian girls you have ever seen. Whether you’re looking for asian girls with weapons, or girls in maid uniforms, or even just the casual girl in a summer dress, we have them all! Our photo collection is growing by the day and will continue growing by the truckload. Every day will introduce new photos for your viewing pleasure.

And for a limited time only, the app is being offered for the low, low price of .99 cents! So why wait? Get a Cute Asian Girl inside your pants today!!!

And then go kill yourself. In a slow, painful, drawn-out way. Thanks.

[via Angry Asian Man]

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My iGirl

February 12th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Remember the Geisha iPhone app? About which I wrote, “But why stop at geishas? Why not have a stripper app? Or better yet, a lap dance app? Why not have the iPhone also be a dildo? It already vibrates, so you’re halfway there.”

That was before I discovered iGirl, which is being billed on iTunes as “your own virtual girl friend…for less than the price of a cup of coffee or a beer.” You can tickle her, make her dance, and even change her ethnicity! And she’s, ahem, multi-lingual. Plus, as her creators put it, “She Obeys.”


That’s more like it. I mean, sure, they could have taken this idea further or, in the words of one of the customers who reviewed iGirl, “Longer hair and topless would be a good addition.” But this is a promising start toward virtual, convenient, inexpensive iJackingOff! Good job!!!

And furthermore…ewww.

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Thanks, Christie!

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The Geisha iPhone App: Useless Applicasians

February 3rd, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

I hate iPhone apps. I only have Facebook and Pandora on my phone, because I don’t want to masturbate all day with it. Isn’t it enough that I simply have a phone? (Remember when Diana prayed to the Technology God to give me an iPhone? Well, it worked. Believe in the power of prayer, kids.) Do I need it to be a harmonica, too? Do I really need it to tell me my mood (answer: no, because I’m usually pissed off) and calculate a tip for me (answer: no, because one should never be too lazy to do simple math)? And can someone please tell me what is so amazing about that stupid chalk man and why I would want to see him dancing around like a bone-less, cracked-out raver? Or what, pray tell, is so cool about making my phone fart?

Grrrrrr.

Whatever. I get that that’s my issue. I guess it’s also my issue that I don’t get the Geisha iPhone app. She’s a geisha! And she dances just for you! Yeah, she dances just for you. Imagine a horrible version of The Robot crossed with Benjamin Button’s glide-step when he was on crutches accompanied by ching-chongy music that will make you seriously contemplate ritual suicide. I know this because I had to buy the damn thing to bag on it and now it’s cluttering my phone and, I fear, my life.

Grrrrrrr. Again.

But why stop at geishas? Why not have a stripper app? Or better yet, a lap dance app? Why not have the iPhone also be a dildo? It already vibrates, so you’re halfway there.

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