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Of Course Electroshock Smile Therapy Was Invented By Asians [HOAX]

February 7th, 2011 | 1 comment | Posted by Jen

Hardass Asian Parents, do you wish your lazy, spoiled, selfish children would show some gratitude for all the sacrifices you’ve made for them by offering up a smile now and then? Is that too much to ask???

Welp, if it is, you can simply force their little mouths open with the Electro Smile, a device allegedly invented by a Japanese scientist that sends electric shocks to a child’s cheeks, producing a smile that “lasts for Days.”

I hate you, Mommy! BZZZZZZZZZ I mean, I love you, Mommy!

The gadget warns of an “only slight twitch side effect,” along with an only slight your-child-hating-you-forever-and-thinking-you’re-a-sadistic-fuck-for-the-rest-of-his-or-her-life (deep breath) effect.

[UPDATE: The photo above is for a real product, albeit one that doesn't deliver electroshocks (sorry, Tiger Moms). And the text is fake and not just the result of a horrible translation. The real product, as I learned from the comments section of Neatorama, is called a Kami Kami sensor, and it counts the number of bites children make while eating their food. Which actually seems way less useful than an electroshock smile therapy tool, don't you think?]

[Image via]

[via Neatorama]

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The World’s First Sex Robot Has Been Unveiled, And It Doesn’t Look Like Ann Curry…

January 11th, 2010 | 8 comments | Posted by Diana

…NOR was it invented by the Japanese!!!

She can't move her head, but sure does give great...

Roxxxy, the first functional sex robot with artificial intelligence, was unveiled by New Jersey-based creator TrueCompanion at the AVN Adult Entertainment Expo in Las Vegas over the weekend.

From Fox News:

“She can’t vacuum, she can’t cook but she can do almost anything else if you know what I mean,” Douglas Hines, the president of ROXXXY manufacturer TrueCompanion, told the AFP. “She’s a companion. She has a personality. She hears you. She listens to you. She speaks. She feels your touch. She goes to sleep. We are trying to replicate a personality of a person.”

Not to hate on a breakthrough, but we’re a little dissatisfied. Sure, a sex robot sounds great. But we couldn’t care less if our robot sleeps, feels our touch, or talks about her day. We want her to call us a stallion, screw us on demand, and occasionally cook us a lasagna. Is that too much to ask?

[via HuffPo]
[Fox News: ROXXXY, the World's First Life-Size Robot Girlfriend]

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