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I’m An Asian Woman And I Think Blog Posts Defining That Identity By Who Someone Like Me Would Or Wouldn’t Date Are Bullshit

September 26th, 2012 | 16 comments | Posted by Jen

Is there a worthwhile discussion to be had about interracial dating and relationships?

The answer seems to be no, if you’ve paid any attention to posts written on the subject that have been blowing up my little patch of the Internet lately. Of course I’m referring to “I’m An Asian Woman And I Refuse To Ever Date An Asian Man” by Jenny An, and the clickbait-y response to An’s clickbait-y call, “I Am An Asian Woman And I Think Asian Boyfriends Are Superior (Well, Mine Is Anyway),” by Clarissa Wei, both published on xojane, a site to which I’ve contributed.

Simply put: I’m An Asian Woman And I Think This Conversation Sucks.

First things first. I don’t give a fuck who these women fuck or, really, what any woman chooses to do with her own vagina. Because it’s her own vagina, get it? And because it’s her own vagina, she doesn’t need to justify what she does with it. It should go without saying that a woman can do whatever she wants with her own body. But when she feels the need to explain why she does what she does with it, which is what these posts boil down to for me, she’s just playing into this very old and very male idea that a woman needs to justify what she does with her own body because, ultimately, she doesn’t have authority over, I repeat, her own body. Sound familiar? It should (see: “the war on women”).

The other problem with these posts is that they put race and gender at odds with one another, like they have this mutually exclusive relationship, and you have to choose one or the other to have some kind of cohesive identity. If you believe An’s argument–which she later backpedaled on, calling it “a character” designed to provoke discussion–as an Asian woman, in order to reject “patriarchy and cultural sexism,” you have to be a racist dick and Continue reading I’m An Asian Woman And I Think Blog Posts Defining That Identity By Who Someone Like Me Would Or Wouldn’t Date Are Bullshit

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Asian Women Aren’t Just Fetish Objects, We’re Brain-Dead, Too

August 13th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

What can I say about Ying Chu’s recent Marie Claire piece “The New Trophy Wives: Asian Women” that hasn’t already been said?

Our pals Joz at 8 Asians and Latoya Peterson, editor of Racialicious who’s guest-blogging at Jezebel for the next two weeks, have both written terrific posts on Chu’s story already, pointing out how, in an effort to dispel certain stereotypes, it only further reinforces them. (Click here for Joz’s post and here for Latoya’s.)

Not to mention the fact that “The New Trophy Wives: Asian Women” is just a hot mess of half-baked, garbled ideas: Asian women of different ages with incredibly diverse backgrounds and experiences are all lumped together as alike fetish objects; Chu quotes Richard Bernstein, author of the recent book, The East, the West, and Sex, as an authority on the subject–”author Richard Bernstein found that the Orientalist illusion continues to influence”–even though Bernstein’s book has been taken to task in multiple publications (here at Salon and here in the NY Times and here at Slate) for perpetuating that very “Orientalist illusion”; “globalization” is cited as an influencing factor in the fetishization of Asian women, but only some random collection of mumbo-jumbo about the popularity of Mandarin classes, Malcolm Gladwell’s theory on why Asian kids are good at math, and China’s dominance in world trade is provided to support that argument; oh, and how about the fact that this whole phenomenon is being presented as something that’s “new”?!

But, for me, the idea put forth in the Marie Claire piece that really chaps my ass is in its closing line:

“Asian women dating white men may never really know if it’s a fetish thing.”

Um, excuse me? Really? So Asian women are not only submissive Suzie Wongs and geishas, we’re also fucking brain-dead, too?

The complications of sexual politics notwithstanding, fetishists are easy to spot. They come at you with their prayer-bead bracelets and their suspiciously in-depth knowledge of your “culture.” They come with transparent dating histories, and many of them are more than happy to offer up that their last eight girlfriends have been Asian and unabashedly expound–based on their dating experience alone–on the fundamental difference between, say, Korean women and Chinese women. Fetishists tend to talk about you like you’re only a member of a larger group; e.g. instead of saying, “I really like your shiny hair,” they’ll say, “I really like Asian girls’ hair.” And, frankly, they’re creepy, like noticeably-remarkably-right-off-the-bat-creepy, like konichiwa-ni hao ma-what are you?-as-an-opening-line creepy, and stalk-you-on-Facebook-where-they-have-381-friends-who-all-happen-to-be-Asian-women-creepy, and follow-you-to-your-car-in-a-parking-garage-after-you’ve-shared-two-minutes-riding-an-elevator-together-creepy. It’s not rocket science, people.

And if we’re going to traffic in stereotypes here, did Marie Claire forget that Asians are supposed to be smart, too?

[Marie Claire: The New Trophy Wives: Asian Women]
[8 Asians: Marie Claire article declares: Asian Women are The New Trophy Wives]
[Jezebel: Stereotypes Run Rampant In Marie Claire's Asian Trophy Wives Article]

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Meet the Latest Most Loathsome Person on Reality Television

December 16th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Meet Hockey Mom Khalood Bojanowski, aka “Mrs. B,” an unabashedly racist reality TV contestant on the Ryan Seacrest-produced Momma’s Boys, an NBC show premiering tonight that has 32 women vying for the approval of 3 bachelors and their mothers:

Watch Mrs. B fuh-reak when she spies her son JoJo playing a different kind of hockey with a black contestant here. It’s some gnarly Oedipal shit, and makes you wonder why she doesn’t just fuck her son and get it over with already.

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Shit, She Won’t Date One of Us?

December 4th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

It’s like some kind of trend: ugly, dumb chicks finding it hard to imagine themselves dating outside of their race! First Bad Girls, now aged beauty queens! Who’s next? Plastic surgery victims? Sorority rejects?

Nicole Johnson, the lovely former Miss America, admits she doesn’t
dislike Black people or nothin’, just sure as hell don’t smile
upon interracial dating (skip to 10:00 of this clip).

I mean, is it wrong that I’m kinda glad? I don’t want this face-bloat mixing all up in my gene pool!

Source Source Source
Thanks, Jasmine!

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"I Don’t Date Out of My Rasian"

December 2nd, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

The third season of Bad Girls Club, a reality show about girls in ugly, low-cut tops who like to fight (or something like that), begins tonight on the Oxygen Network. Here’s a clip from the season premiere, in which the two Ambers discuss dating:

I laughed out loud when Amber M. tells Amber B. that if she dated a black guy, she would be “surprisingly surprised.” That’s going to be my new euphemism for “humongous cock.”

[via Jezebel]

Thanks to my Skenny Betches for dealing with my ineptitude!

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